Driving in South Carolina embodies all, or at least most, of the elements described here plus a few endearing idiocyncrasies of its own.

Rear View Mirrors

These are to be used only for the suspension of sunglasses and religious artefacts. Additionally, the rear window should be completely obscured by soft toys, baseball caps, hard hats and college/NFL flags. The net effeect being to proceed without any knowledge of what is happening behind.

Turn Signals

As in most of the rest of the country their use is entirely optional. On the few occasions that they are used there are two distinct modes of operation:

1. A single, perfunctory flash offered after completion of the maneuver;
2. Switch on the light several miles before the proposed turn and preferably leave it on for many miles subsequently.

Left turns on four lane highways require special mention. If there is a known, or even suspected, left turn on the itinerary then drive in the left lane at five miles per hour below the posted speed limit for up to sixteen miles before making the turn. A turn light, often the wrong one, may be used without penalty.

Pick 'em up trucks

South Carolina is possibly the truck capital of the World and they range from innocuous to downright deadly. There are the little ones used by Mom and Pop to pick up groceries each week from the Piggly Wiggly¹ or cart away the family garbage. Then there are the monstrous ones, with huge tires, camouflage paint jobs and antennas. These are usually driven by people who are:

• drunk
• drugged
• p****d off
• insane
• armed
• all of the above

Better to keep away from these.

All the middle ground is made up from a myriad of variations. Trucks with tool boxes, dog boxes, gun racks, fishing rods, furniture and children. Some dogs, at least the better gun-dogs, are often carried in the cab in preference to the children, but this practice is disappearing as a result of increased police intervention and the introduction of crew cabs.

And......

then there are hats.
South Carolina is a largely rural and deeply Bible Belt state and consequently the countryside is liberally sprinkled with churches. People drive to church; and any given Sunday, if you travel on a backroad, you will encounter immaculately clean and very large automobiles travelling at 15 miles per hour and driven by a hat. The hat is invariably fastened to the top of a little old lady intent upon her Sunday worship. Often tiny enough to be directing the vehicle by looking through the steering wheel, be patient as she will only be a couple of miles from her objective and never any of the above.²