The Birth of the Conch Republic

1 Conversation


From time to time Governments impose unfair restriction on a portion of their citizens. This has often resulted in an attempted separation from the mother country;

  • On 4 July, 1776 a group of American colonists declared their independence from the British Empire.
  • On 2 March, 1836 a group of American settlers in the Territory of Texas declared their independence from Mexico.
  • On 20 December, 1860 the state of South Carolina declared its independence from the United States.
  • In 1918 the Irish resistance party, Sinn Féin, announced their island's independence from Great Britain .
  • On 23 April, 1982 The islands of the Florida Keys declared their independence from the United States.

Most of the events listed above resulted in a very bloody war, some of them with long lasting effects. It is the last event we shall focus on here, the people in Key West do things – differently.


"We Seceded Where Others Failed" – The motto of the Conch Republic.

What is a Conch?


The technical definition of a Conch1 is a family of edible shellfish. The shellfish are members of the Mollusk family and have often been referred to as the 'snail of the sea'. Properly prepared conch meat has been considered to be a delicacy, like Escargot. When the proper procedures are not followed, the result is not unlike adding pencil erasers to your salad, in both flavour and texture.


Many of the Loyalists who fled the United States in the aftermath of the Revolutionary War relocated to the Bahama Islands and were called 'Conchs' as a derogatory name. It implied that they were eating cheep seafood, rather than a proper English diet, in much the same way as the French were called 'Frogs'. When they, or their descendants, returned to the US the name followed them. In Key West it became a name of honour. Today native born islanders refers to themselves as 'Salt Water Conchs' and allow those with at least 7 years of residence to use the term 'Fresh Water Conch' for themselves.

The Oversea Highway


There is only one highway and just two bridges that connect the Florida keys to the mainland. The northern causeway converges with US Highway 1 just south of Florida City in Dade County, about 35 miles (56KM) south of the city of Miami. The distance from Florida City to Key West is 126 miles (203KM), and should take about 2 1/2 hours of driving time, under ideal conditions.


It might be worthwhile to point out that the highway starts at the south eastern tip of the Florida Peninsula and runs to the south west, Key West is located about 90 miles (145KM) from the city of Havana Cuba, and the nearby Port of Mariel.

The Mariel Boat-Lift


The United States ordered an embargo on the country of Cuba on 7 February, 1962, when Fidel Castro openly declared his support for the Soviet Union. Many of the wealthy Cubans had fled to the US leaving some extended family and friends behind. With the embargo, Castro also prohibited Cubans from visiting the US, in effect using the Florida Straits as his own 'Berlin Wall'.


On 22 April, 1980 the Cuban Government opened the port of Mariel2 as an official port of embarkation for its citizens who wished to emigrate to the United States. In the following months utter chaos ensued when thousand of Cuban Americans offered huge rewards for the recovery of their loved ones, and boats of almost all sizes3 and description, descended upon Mariel. When the official project ended in June (although smaller groups continued crossing until September) almost all of the relatives remained under Cuban control. Castro had released only the most undesirable (in his opinion) citizens, political dissenters and criminals. At least 124,000 immigrants arrived in the US and about 1,600 vessels had carried them.


Although it had been sanctioned by the Cuban government, in the United States the boat-lift still involved the breaking of several laws, including trading with Cuba and smuggling in undocumented aliens. Several boats were seized and many of the Cubans were incarcerated in immigration camps or prison. In the end the sheer number of people involved was too large to contain and almost all of the 'Marielitos' entered into Miami's Hispanic community.


Although very few, if any, of the designated people were included in the boat-lift, the Cuban-American leaders had found a group of people who would happily risk the trip across the Florida straits if the money paid was high enough. When the boat-lift officially ended both governments maintained a close watch on the waters that separated them. In time the patrols were reduced and a new wave of Cuban immigration began. Many private boats would travel to an isolated Cuban beach, retrieve a group of selected Cuban refugees, and returned to an isolated beach in the Keys to drop them off. The US Border Patrol found the challenge insurmountable.

The Border Crossing


There was an unnamed bureaucrat in the agency who came up with what he thought would be a brilliant solution. They set up a make-shift border crossing station just above the point where the two roads from the keys merged, no one could enter or leave the keys, at least by land,without passing their check-point. The site selected was in front of Skeeter Davis' Last Chance Saloon A bar that was popular with many local motorcycle clubs. They had probably not studied the 'Commerce Clause' (Article 1, Section 84, clause 3) of the US Constitution that allows the Congress to control interstate and foreign trade. The 4th Amendment prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures within the US – an inconvenient thing, that pesky piece of paper.


The disruption of the flow of traffic was almost instantaneous. People reported more than 17 miles (27KM) of stop and go traffic before they reached the the check point. This was annoying. This was an insult! Most important of all, it was having a negative effect on the tourist trade! Something must be done!


Soon after Mayor Dennis Wardlow had received a telephone call from his friend Skeeter telling him about the check point in front of his saloon, the Mayor assembled his staff. A small group flew to the Federal Courthouse in Miami to demand an injunction that would force the removal of Border Patrol's check point. They were refused. As they flew back to Key West they discussed what alternatives were left. By the time they had landed a plan had been made. They would have to act quickly, it was the evening of 22 April.

The Conch Republic


It was noon on 23 April, 1982 that the Mayor called a special press conference of the steps of the City Hall. As the senior Federal Official in the area he invited the Admiral of the local Navy Base to attend5. The Mayor pulled a paper from his pocket and solemnly read the words of the proclamation for secession.


The Conchs were prepared! Many of them produced the weapons they had secretly smuggled into the the square! they began attacking the enemy with loaves of stale Cuban Bread6  breaking the loaves over the 'enemy's' heads! After only a few minutes of combat the Mayor, who had proclaimed himself Prime Minister during the chaos, formally surrendered to the Admiral, and presented his list of demands for foreign aid and war reparations.


So began the Conch Republic.

So, You Want to be a Conch?


Just as the Conchs prefer a good party to a war, they are not adverse to selling a bit of their heritage for a profit. You can purchase your very own Conch Passport here as a citizen or diplomat for a modest, or not so modest if you wish to be an Ambassador, fee.


Many have applied for the passports including British comedian Paul Merton, who has managed to obtain an 'Ambassador' credential while filming a special for television. There is a story about an American who was captured by a group of freedom fighters in Guatemala, a Central American country, when he produced his Conch passport saying 'Americano no! Soy7 Republica de Conch!', the story goes that they treated him as a fellow revolutionary. However the story was written by a Conch, so you should not place a wager on it being true.


Although they have absolutely no legal status, most of the surrounding countries will be glad to stamp them for you so they can share in the joke.

Wet Foot Dry Foot


In 1995 the Federal Government Amended its Cuban immigration policy with the Wet Foot Dry Foot policy that would have made the entire Florida City Border Check Point irrelevant. Under this policy any Cubans who reach American soil are given amnesty, unless they have done some really bad things. Those who are captured at sea must be returned to Cuba, unless they can prove it it would be especially dangerous for themselves. It was far too late to prevent the Conch Republic movement. As of this writing, March 2013, it is still the law of the land, as is the Cuban embargo. This policy includes only Cuban Nationals, others including Mexicans and Haitians can be deported even after having lived in the US for many years. This has often been seen as unfair by the other groups.

Conclusion


It was not long after the news of the Conch Republic hit the the national media that the border check point was quietly dismantled. This should be counted as a Conch victory, if you are keeping score.


There are some who place the territory of the Conch republic solely in Key West, this is not, nor has it ever been, true. The original intent was to include all of Monroe County ( the Florida County that comprises all of the Keys) and the small slice of Dade County south of Skeeter's Saloon – the entire area that was isolated by the border check-point. Properly Key West is the Conch Capital and the rest are collectively known as the 'Northern Territories'.


It should not be surprising that the Foreign aid and war reparations were never paid. It is surprising that the proclamation of independence was never addressed by the Federal Government. That might just be a Florida thing as they never really addressed that thing with the Native Americans either.


The front wall of the Key West airport still greets visitors with a mural declaring 'Welcome to the Conch Republic'. Many Conch key chains and refrigerator magnets are available in the shops. If there is anything a true Conch enjoys more than a party, and independence – it is the opportunity to relieve a tourist of all that bulky extra cash.


When asked why the Keys had seceded the most common answer is 'When they set the Border check point above us we felt the United States had abandoned us, something had to fill the void'.
The true measure of a Conch is not the island they live upon, but the content of the soul.

1The 'ch' is pronounced with the hard sound resembling a 'K', we shall not add the myriad of accents that have been used for the other letters.2A large bay just west of Havana.3The Cuban Government had set a minimum length of 20 feet (6 metres)4In the US military 'section 8' is the grounds for dismissal due to mental incompetence – this is probably only a coincidence.5There are seven distinct naval bases located in, or near the City of Key West.6Fresh Cuban bread is far too soft and flexible to use as a weapon, unless it has been pressed into a sandwich. Only a fool would use a good pressed Cuban for anything other than lunch.7Spanish for 'I am, or I belong to.'

Bookmark on your Personal Space


Entry

A87788632

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more