We all know what empathy is: google it, and you get 'the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.' Empathy looks like this:

Then the White man came. From the Big Sea Water on the east he came, in his great white-winged canoe. With one hand pointing to the Great Spirit, and with the other extended to the Red man he came. He asked for a small seat. A seat the size of a buffalo skin would be quite large enough for him, he said.


In the name of the Great Spirit, the Red Children greeted the White man, and called him "brother." They gave him the seat he asked. They gave him a large buffalo skin also, and showed him where he could spread it by their council fire.


The White man took the buffalo skin. He thanked his Red brother in the name of the Great Spirit. Then he began to cut the skin into many, many small strips.


When the whole buffalo skin had been cut into narrow strips, he tied the strips together. They made a long cord that would reach over a long trail.


In amazement the Indians watched the White man while he measured off a seat as long and as broad as this cord would reach around. The "small seat," the size of a buffalo skin, became a tract of land.


Soon the White man asked for another seat. This time his seat took in the Indians' lodges and camp fire. He asked the Indians if they would move on a few arrow flights. This they did.


Then the White man wanted another seat. Each time it took a larger skin for him to sit upon. This time the skin stretched so far that it covered a part of the Indians' hunting and fishing grounds.


Again the Indians moved on. Again the White man followed. Each time his seat grew larger, until the Indian had a place but the size of a buffalo skin on which to sit.

Mabel Powers, Stories the Iroquois Tell Their Children, 1917.

Empathy is when you can read this, and feel the unfairness and the sadness of it, even when you know that your people were part of the problem. Empathy is God's trap, you know: it's heaven's way of catching us unawares and making us live up to the name of 'human'. It's how the Prophet Nathan caught King David and turned him around.

The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, "There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.


"Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him."


David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, "As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity."


Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.'

2 Samuel 12: 1-10, New International Version

Nathan (and God) were being very kind to David. Once he got it through his head that kings can't do things like that – and that if he didn't change his mind, his beloved God was never going to speak to him again – David became a different person. Most Bible readers seem to think that the difference between David and his predecessor Saul was that David was a great king, while Saul was a lousy one. But if you read the story, you'll find that both Saul and David faced the same moment of truth: Saul when he used a pious lie to cover up his greedy misappropriation of goods, and David when he essentially claimed, 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman, er, Mrs Uriah.' The difference was that when Saul was offered the chance to make it right, he pretended it hadn't happened. David, on the other hand, wrote:

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.


Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.


For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Psalm 51: 1-5, Authorised Version (KJV)

He goes on like this for quite a while. David was a poet, and a bit of a drama queen, frankly. But you get the point: he changed his mind about whether it was okay to take what he wanted, just because he was a successful, big-deal bandit chieftain/king with an army of tough guys, some cool swords, and some really fast horses. He never picked on the little guy again, and he made sure his girlfriends weren't otherwise engaged before making overtures.

So what does that tell us about empathy? That it's possibly one of the best instruments a writer has in the toolbox when it comes to getting to the reader. Go watch that Discovery series, Manhunt: Unabomber. If you don't end up feeling just a little sorry for Ted Kaczynski, and a lot sorry for the people who opened his letter bombs, I miss my guess. Does it help you learn something? Oh, yeah.

Am I advocating the Sob Sister School of the Three-Hanky Story? No, no, and no. You've got to wield this tool carefully, with finesse and expertise. It takes practice. You know what the kids call a heavy-handed TV show or movie that tries to make you 'learn a lesson' without earning its moments? 'Anvilicious'. No lie, look it up. They mean, 'trying to hit the audience with a ton of bricks.' That's not how to do it. Learn from the Prophet Nathan. He was a good writer. Yeah, he was writing for hire, and his Client gave him the outline. Good execution, though.

Just be aware of the possibilities. Remember: if the reader can't feel it, you're not going to win any hearts and minds. When you go through your writer's checklist after you've finished a story, look for 'Empathy' before you run the spellcheck.

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Dmitri Gheorgheni

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