We believe Ben Franklin invented fire insurance, at least in the US. We wonder what kinds of claims he had to deal with. See how you did on this lot.

Multiple choice.

1. A farmer in Devon, UK, put in a claim for a lost mobile. Where did he lose the item?
   
   • Inside a cow. (Don't be pervy: he was delivering a calf by flashlight.)
2. A police officer in Hawaii was awarded $39,000 in damages for what mishap?
   
   • Having a coconut fall on his head. (Occupational hazards in paradise…)
3. 'It's Not Unusual'? What did singer Tom Jones insure with Lloyds' for $7m?
   
   • His chest hair. (If you guessed this, you have probably watched more of Tom Jones than is strictly good for you.)
4. Egon Ronay insured something for $393,000. What was it?
   
   • His taste buds: he's a professional food critic. (The restaurants he pans probably wish they would pay out.)
5. An agency in Florida sells alien abduction insurance. What will they pay you, the insuree, if you can prove your claim of alien abduction?
   
   • A dollar a year until death, or for one million years. (Not a bad deal: that interest adds up.)
6. What will Lloyds of London insure prospective parents against?
   
   • Twins. (It's called Multiple Birth Insurance. One couple bought it twice, and it paid off twice.)
7. A British insurance company refused to pay a young woman's claim in Bristol when her mobile stopped working. What had happened to it?
   
   • The woman was using the mobile as an 'adult toy'. (Apparently, the laughter in the office lasted quite a while, though.)
8. A couple vacationing in Malaysia filed a successful claim on their insurance. What had happened to them?
   
   • Their clothing was stolen by monkeys. (Monkeys are antisocial, and they never pay their court fines.)
9. A homeowner in the southwestern US collected on his insurance when a saguaro cactus…
   
   • …fell on his house, doing enormous damage. (At 40 feet, it was a hefty saguaro. And as h2g2 well knows, saguaros can be deadly.)
10. An insurance company in the US paid off when a car owner's vehicle was seriously damaged by head-butting goats. Why were the goats so hostile?
    
    • The car had been washed and waxed, and the goats mistook their reflections for rival goats. (Auto pride cometh before the fall of dented chrome.)

Trash fire insurance.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

09.04.18 Front Page

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