Do you think Halloween is too commercialised? Do you disapprove of costumes that aren't scary? Do 'fairy princesses' get up your nose? Discuss. Meanwhile, here are some answers.

1. Are you a Halloween fan? Dress like Michael Myers. All you need is a mask of another famous actor: William Shatner. (True: the original mask cost $1.98.)
2. You landed in Yorkshire in style back in the 1890s. You'll need a cape and fangs to be Dracula. (We want a remake with Sean Bean.)
3. Get your mermaid tail and a wheelchair, sing 'I Will Survive', and go as Bette Midler's famous Dolores DeLago. (Both beautiful and empowering.)
4. Put a werewolf mask on, grab a microphone and turntable, and go as DJ Wolfman Jack. (Get ready to howl.)
5. Put on a faux-sealskin coat and tell everyone you're a selkie from the sea. They're very romantic. (There are folksongs.)
6. Grab some hardware from the toolbox – a couple of bolts will do nicely, just glue them on your neck – add some fake 'stitches', and you're the Frankenstein monster. (Lurch a bit.)
7. Grr, aargh. Even if your costume monster was only invented in 1968 (in Pittsburgh, no less!), you'll always be a hit as a zombie. (Nobody will notice you at the Monroeville Mall.)
8. Want to stick your head in some vegetable matter and become a vengeful demon? It's based on a 1988 cult film, but you might enjoy being Pumpkinhead. (Remember, eye-holes….)
9. Alfred K Bender was terrified of them. Agents J and K are two. All you need is a cool suit and hat and some dark sunglasses to be a Man In Black. (Memory-erasing flasher optional.)
10. You can put on your old academic gown and a pointed hat, carry a wand, and tell people you're from Hogwarts. (This is the only Halloween costume we know of that involves going to school. Ugh.)

Remember: in some parts of Canada, it is illegal to trick-or-treat if you are over fourteen. Stick to parties, or go ring Prof Animal Chaos' doorbell.

Click for answers.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

29.10.18 Front Page

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