The Metropolitan Museum of Art's online catalogue is an amazing thing. We recommend it for leisure reading as well as gift ideas that are truly 'out there'. But face it: haven't you seen worse in the Neiman Marcus catalogue? Be honest.

	1. The Met suggests using this as a paperweight. They're not sure if it's ancient Roman or early Islamic.
	2. Who's the biggest gamer in the group? This is a rare game piece with a mythological theme. Menelaus and his friends are on a raid, fighting a MOB called Proteus. We expect them to get maximum XP out of it.
	3. A harpy, so be careful nobody thinks it's 'ironic'. Also, be sure their apartment is big enough: this one's 64 cm by 56 cm.
	4. This miniature coffin is a memento mori depicting the story of Lazarus and the rich man. An especially thoughtful gift for your university student who's into occupying Wall Street.
	5. This elegant salt cellar would grace any high-class dinner table.
	6. This is the astrolabe of 'Umar ibn Yusuf ibn 'Umar ibn 'Ali ibn Rasul al-Muzaffari. He had good taste, and so do you.
	7. This ceramic lantern will come in handy during power outages, or the apocalypse, whichever comes first.
	8. Your son, husband, brother or boyfriend will be the hit of the football pitch in this copper helmet designed by 17th-century Ottoman metalworkers.
	9. This erotic glass fragment is brought to you by the ancient Romans. Keep reminding everybody that it's 'art'.
	10. According to the Met, the spiritual patina of a boli may contain 'the blood of chickens or goats, chewed and expectorated kola nuts, alcoholic beverages, honey, metal, animal bones, vegetable matter, and sometimes millet.' Maybe don't tell them?

Dmitri Gheorgheni

24.12.18 Front Page

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