Worse than cats: NaJo outtakes. This is from a chapter in that magnificent epic, still being written, called '30 Hours in Hooverville'. It will explain the video. Or not.

Wlad actually arrives a few minutes before 2 pm at the River Pirates' Inn, so that he can set up his equipment in the tiny 'ballroom' on the bar side of the inn, away from the main restaurant. Here are tables, a small stage, and a dancefloor – and here the seniors and other ballroom aficionados gather in the early afternoon for an hour of Polka Party before their meal.


For those who haven't reached the age yet, or who haven't been much around people over 75, it's a fact that the older one gets, the earlier it is advisable to consume one's main meal. Since most people in Pennsylvania eat their main meal in the evening, this poses a problem for the elderly, who really need to get to bed earlier, and who don't need their sleep interrupted by digestive anxieties. Restaurant owners know this, and have invented the 'Early Bird Special', a cheerfully-named discount meal that starts serving at 3 pm. Everybody's happy: the seniors get their comfort food in cheery surroundings, and the restaurant earns a small cushion against the volatile nature of the food service market.


Wlad doesn't mind the gig – he likes the old folks – but he wishes they had better taste in music. He's kind of looking forward to the next decade, when the Baby Boomers are firmly in the demographic. Maybe then they'll request something different. It would be fun to play some acid rock. Or even Peter, Paul, and Mary. But for now, the trusty Yamaha is being set up for polka. He attaches the amplifier and does a sound check as the first customers file in and claim their tables. He waves cheerily at Mr Grzyb. They have bonded over mutual problems with spellcheckers.


'Hi, Mr G! How's it going today?'


'Hi, Wlad! Just tip-top, thanks. My granddaughter won a prize at the Tractor Show this year.'


'Did she, now? Well, congratulations! I know you're proud.'


'Yes, I am. She takes good care of that '49 Case. Drove it in herself, too! When I asked her how she learned, she said, "From watching you, Grandad. You have mad skills." Now, wasn't that a nice thing to say?'


Wlad agrees that it is. Soon the small but noisy crowd is assembled, and he brings them to attention with a few cheery chords on the Yamaha, which is now tuned to 'accordion'.


'This thing is like Tom Slick's Thunderbolt Greaselapper,' he thinks. 'It turns into anything you need it to.' [If you don't know who Tom Slick is, you aren't the cartoon connoisseur you believe yourself to be.] Wlad urges the crowd to choose their partners for the dance, and then begins playing polka.


'The things I do for love and utility money,' he thinks. Personally, though he loves the seniors, he feels guilty playing this stuff. Deep inside, he wishes he could educate them into a love of something more soulful (and with better chord progressions). But this is what makes them happy, so this is what they shall have. As he plays, he free associates, which leads the 'Tic Toc Polka' to have somewhat different lyrics from those envisioned by its composers.


For the dancers, the hour flies by to the accompaniment of jolly sounds, laughter, and tapping feet. They work up a good appetite for the cabbage and kielbasa lunch.

Click here for the video, or watch the embedded version in your Pliny-skin page.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

25.11.19 Front Page

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