h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When my brain goes into idle, usually about 7.30 of an evening, I try to find relaxing things to entertain myself with that won't make me get too overwrought to fall asleep come bedtime. This rules out network television, with its 'reality' and its commercials, so I usually troll Netflix for some commercial-free, mindless amusement. Yeah, like Peter Greenaway's art stuff or Romanian New Age cinema. Or the 2007-8 series we just finished watching, 'Life'. Very good, funny story about an ex-con cop who practises Zen. (You had to be there.) We'd run out of the fruit-eating detective, so last night I dialed up a BBC series called 'Carpathia'.

Now, I admit I picked this series because a) it was science fiction, and b) I liked the name. I knew it probably wouldn't have any Balkan connections, so I was intrigued by the idea of naming a planet Carpathia. It turns out the planet in question - a Goldilocks planet that harbours refugees from doomed Earth - was named for the ship that rescued the Titanic survivors.

Aha. That's the connection. Unfortunately, from the pilot episode, I suspect that like my friends the Phoints, the Carpathianites have brought their problems with them, and are going to turn the new paradise into a hell with amazing speed. If they don't, then the writers cheated. People aren't ready for paradise. Not until they learn better.

Anyhow. I wonder if one of the reasons people aren't ready to live in paradise isn't because of what they do with their free time. I don't mean watching films or reading books. Those could be useful activities, if you don't leave your moral compass at the door when you enter the fictional world. I'm referring to all this 'trending', of course - the way thousands upon thousands of people have nothing better to do than to join causes that…well, aren't very important.

The last hour has brought two cases in point:

1. There is a pub in Southampton called 'The Hobbit', which is being (unfairly?) sued over its name. I'll bet you already know this. I'll bet you already know this because it is a 'trending' news item. In case you have missed this exciting news, I will post the link here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2114365/Hobbit-pub-Southampton-sued-Hollywood-giant-Middle-earth-Enterprises-name.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

This issue is extremely important. We know this, because even the very important Mr Stephen Fry has an opinion on it.

2. The Nike shoe company has caused a terrible uproar shortly before St Patrick's Day by naming an athletic shoe 'Black and Tan'. Yes, eyeroll. Yes, the notion of marketing people too ignorant even to google is mind-boggling. That they know nothing of history is hardly surprising - after all, it happened before they were born, and we know nothing important happened back then - but they could at least have checked. If you aren't up on this number, here's the link:

http://www.npr.org/2012/03/13/148536624/nike-kicks-up-controversy-with-black-and-tan-shoes

You will note that this business is so important it took up National Public Radio's time.

Now, here are the news stories that are less 'trending' today:

1. In Yemen, about one-fifth of the population is in need of emergency food aid. According to the Guardian, 'Colette Fearon, Oxfam's country director for Yemen, said the situation was in danger of becoming the "forgotten crisis".' Read about it here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/global-development/2012/mar/14/yemen-crisis-emergency-food-aid?newsfeed=true

Google 'hunger' under 'news', though, and you'll have to wade through the news items about some fantasy film.

2. The World Water Forum started meeting in Marseilles on Monday, just about when I was rewriting my geography lesson on why there was a water crisis. If we don't do something pretty much right now, the growing population (did you know we are 7 billion? Did you know that wasn't exactly normal?) and climate change, plus the utterly rotten way we do agriculture (which accounts for 70% of our water use), is going to mean there isn't enough water to go around. Yeah, sure there are all those oceans. Ever try to drink from one? Here's the story:

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/green/global-warming/120313/world-water-forum-water-crisis

Now, what am I saying? Don't be funny? No. Don't amuse ourselves? No. Spend all our time in a bitter struggle for social improvement? No. I can't solve all those problems at once, and nor can anybody who's reading this.

On the other hand, getting all excited about a pub theme or the nomenclature of running shoes is pretty (dare I say it? I dare) ridiculous. My suggestion would be to let the patrons of that pub decide whether to back the owners. As to Black and Tan shoes, if everybody refused to buy them, the company might take a hint. An eye-roll will suffice. In the meantime, why aren't we demanding that the press, television, twitter, Facebook, and any other social media we can find make it a 'trending' topic to worry about stuff like hunger and the water crisis, and their underlying causes?

I'll bet the next time I switch emails, they're going to pop up a 'news' item about some actress I don't know, and tell me I should be worrying about a) her boyfriend, b) her latest film, or c) her fashion faux pas at the latest gala. I'm not interested. What I would like to see is a news item about someone who has a promising lead on what we can all do about climate change, the water crisis, or feeding people better. And I don't mean another celebrity fundraiser or some initiative to have us all change what product we buy. I mean real news on the subject.

We all need a laugh. We all need something inconsequential to talk about. Because the world often seems to be going to hell in a handbasket, and there's little we can do about it. Maybe we feel like hugging the railing and singing 'Nearer, My God, to Thee'.

But I'm tired of these activity directors who keep rearranging the deck chairs.



PS While I was writing this, the maintenance guy showed up. They're going to put in a water metre and start charging us for our water usage. Irony comes in many forms.

Oh, so true Dmitri. Recently somebody remarked on how many things on Facebook or elsewhere on the web that are just bandwagons to jump on. I especially detest those that make you out to be uncaring if you don't tick 'like' or 'share'.

Perhaps there are just too many good causes for us to be selective any longer. Too many hopeless situations that we're powerless to effect changes as an individual.

As for the water shortages, ours is made by desalination - and should the power supply fail, or the machinery fail catastrophically - we would all die of thirst here. Is it true that in some part of America, water is provided as part of your municipal charges - ie 'free'? Everywhere I've ever lived the water company has always been a separate entity - and a large bill!

Everywhere I've ever been before, we had to pay a water bill, Lanza. This apartment complex was including water in the rent. But times are hard, and they're looking for ways to save. Joe from maintenance told us that some people were wasting water, so the complex is installing metres and is going to make us pay.

I can't blame them.

Oh, and about desalination: The people in Abu Dhabi are the worst offenders on the planet. They use more water than anyone else. The thing is, they use desalination. The plants for this have a hair-raising carbon signature.

I'm not saying we have to solve these problems. I doubt there's a lot I can do, myself, I'm just barely functioning. But I want those items to be the 'trendy' ones, not a lot of stuff I don't care about.

I guess that in Abu Dhabi, they use a LOT of oil, eventually I hope to see more power being taken from the wind turbines that the water company uses, and rather a lot less from oil. There's no reason why not, we have those fabled 'trade winds' that blow almost constantly over the island. Failing that, we have bags of sunshine we should be harnessing, as should those in Abu Dhabi too!


As to causes, perhaps I should pick myself a new one. I used to be much more outspoken about environmental issues than I am now. I must be getting old and cynical.

I'll bet you can use solar power, too. You must have a lot of sunshine.

On Greek islands, the (cheap) hotels had solar-powered water heaters. This tended to mean that showers in the early morning were cold. But that was a long time ago. They've probably got better at it.

Hi there Dmitri and Lanzababy! Again a very interesting discussion, thanks to you both! Over here, we pay for the water, and I do try to use as little as necessary. But anyways, we do really have to think about solving these problems. Me, I think they can be solved. I trust in human ingenuity. We already have done some remarkable things as a species. We can do things even more remarkable if we really put our minds to it! The thing is to get people to start thinking about the problems and about possible solutions. I have lots of suggestions if people would ask me and would take seriously what I say. But the first step is acknowledging the problems - and ALL of them, since as I see it all our really bad current problems are connected. What measures end up helping with one problem will end up helping with others also. And ... we don't need to find permanent 'solutions'. There are probably no solutions that would at one stroke solve our problems (or any single one of them) at a stroke and finally and forever. Instead we need to think of things that would make a problem less of a problem - that would go some distance towards alleviating it. We need to understand something: we shall *always* have problems. In fact this is part of life. Life means facing challenges and striving to overcome them. As humans what we need is a permanent problem-tackling attitude. All of us. Helping ourselves as well as others is one of the meanings of life. If more of us understood and accepted that and acted accordingly, the problems would be smaller. AND we need to start believing in our own power. We have immense power as beings that can think and that can apply our willpower and energy to whatever we choose. We just need to make the right choices.

I agree, Willem. People need to make right choices. To do that, they need to know about them. And the choices need to be real choices.

I have always been water conscious and saved in every way possible though it was no benefit to me and probably 'undone' by the wasters locally.

However, since finding myself on my own I decided to have a water meter fitted, and now I do benefit from water saving - my bill has dropped by about two thirds, and I find I am enjoying finding water saving ways.

As a large part of our country is under drought restrictions, and my area might be later, it is in all our interests to save it, but try convincing people!!

Lanzababy, I too am finding I am less vocal and active on environmental matters so I am definitely . If what I do makes a difference then I will do it but otherwise I am passing the baton on to others.

I think our 'day of reckoning' is not far off, when we realise we have to stop wasting everything.

Websailor

As for water bills, it's included in my monthly rent. Finland's tourist bureau likes to name Finland as the 'land of a thousand lakes' but the fact is that Sweden has even more freshwater lakes. And yes, I realise just how lucky I am to live in a country that will not run short on fresh water for generations.

Yay, freshwater lakes. That's what I meant, not 'everybody shower with a friend'. Nice of everybody, but still...

70% of this water waste involves farming. It's irrigation, and pumping out the ground water and letting it evaporate, and running pesticides and chemical fertilisers into what's left, and...

Now that isn't something we can fix by putting in new washers. Somebody's got to fuss.

Over here, it's mining as well. Mines end up polluting a heck of a lot of water. And there are other industries with very heavy water use also.

'everybody shower with a friend'

There'll be a lot of either very pleased, or very annoyed Quakers going about.

I was vaguely aware of a couple of the stories you quoted. I read a headline about Stephen Fry defending a pub called The Hobbit, but didn't go any further. Never heard about the Black and Tan shoes, but it doesn't surprise me after being served a Black and Tan in a Boston 'Irish' pub, and a 'Car Bomb' in a Hannover 'Irish' pub. (Then again, it's appropriate that Nike unveiled them for St Patrick's Day - like the Black and Tans, he was a Brit who came to Ireland and caused a lot of hassle for everyone).

So, why don't the important things trend? Well, sad as it is, a lot of people don't care, frankly. Second, I'm always very suspicious of the role of product placement in these reports of what's trending now. If enough people are told that a certain Hobbit pub is an important news issue, it might be no bad thing for certain films. Perhaps involving hobbits, say, or Stephen Fry, say. Same with certain kinds of footwear. Without the "Oxygen of publicity" (to use Maggie T's phrase), these products will die. Third - A lot of people buy into the idea that "the poor you will always have with you". That's one of the most abused phrases in a big thick book crammed full of abused and misused phrases.

...and breathe.

Well put.

Yesterday the 'trending' people put up a picture of Sir Ian McKellan. He's coming out in favour of the pub, as well.

"everybody shower" ARGH!!!!

isn't it enough that I have 2 a year, trying to save water

I hope all your neighbours are upwind, Prof.

my granddad used to say "where there's muck, there's money"after all these years I'm still skint - but why change habit of a lifetime

If you find any coins in the dirt, let us know.

I found a 50p piece on the station floor, where I was waiting for our bus to come

I thought this would be about the Titanic, and the way everyone is obsessed with it now. Even the buskers in Belfast are playing the theme from the awful film constantly...

Same sort of thing, I suppose.