Baseball is a wonderful summer pastime and one of the rare opportunities in which the spectator can say things to a player and the player will actually hear it. Sure, depending on the venue, you may have to yell, but when the bleachers¹ are pressed close to the backstop², there isn't much to block the sound. This can create a highly personal experience for the spectators and somewhat of a distracting situation for the player. Heckles are an extremely important aspect of the game and should be treated with respect.

The following are guidelines on how to properly heckle during a baseball game.

• DO make jokes and puns about the opposing team's mascot. Example: 'What is a Sea Wolf? Is that a real animal? Are you a mythical creature?'
• DO comment on the attire of the opposing team. Example: 'You've got some mighty fancy pants there, batter! Where'd you get such fancy pants?'
• DO shout nonsensical phrases, movie quotes or general facts aimed at distracting and confusing players. Example: 'Yogurt is alive! I'm riding a furry tractor, Ron!'
• DO make puns based on or around the player's number.
• DO express your disagreement with calls in a polite and civil manner. Example: 'I question your value system, sir. I urge you to reconsider.'

• DO NOT make comments based on race, ethnicity or perceived sexual orientation. If the best thing you can come up with is, 'Pitcher's got a gay hat', then your heckling privileges will be removed.
• DO NOT not tell any players that they 'suck'. Yelling 'You suck!' merely demonstrates that you yourself suck at the noble art of heckling.
• DO NOT use profanity. If you can't think of a creative heckle without swearing, you don't deserve to heckle. This is a family sport and should be treated as such.
• DO NOT heckle an injured player or umpire. It may be tempting to yell, 'Karma's a b*tch!' at a fallen ump but that is not sportsmanlike.

Baseball games are only as fun as the people watching. So go to a game, have fun, get involved, heckle your heart out and try to get the rest of the crowd involved. Keep it fun, keep it good natured and keep it sportsmanlike.