Swiv's Idea of University

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Swiv's Idea of a University: Part XV

It's now very nearly the end of the year. I have one exam done, and one to go –
if you happen to go out at 11:30, 12:30, 4:30 and 5:30 in St Andrews beware! These are
exam-finishing times and final year students are patrolling with supersoakers, bottles of
over-shaken lemonade, tonic and cherryade, baked beans and porridgey-mush. This is a St
Andrews tradition, the dowsing of a student who has just sat their last undergraduate exam,
by their so-called 'friends'.

I'm banned of course – Clare, who is graduating this summer, likes to be smartly dressed to
go to exams, so I've semi-promised not to shower her in foul smelling/coloured things. I'll
probably forget when she finishes as well, and be too late to get her as she comes home (I'm
not walking out to the Sports Hall...) given that I have my last exam tomorrow, and am living in
Parliament Hall revising. And things are a little too strained for me even to dare sprinkling
water in Mary's general direction- but more of that a little later.

First the dreaded exams. I had the first one last Tuesday – Britain and the Scramble for
Africa. I don't remember if I mentioned the Tutor-Who-Coughs, he has a tendency to drop
unsubtle hints into seminars about what is relevant for the exam. Being not entirely sure he
wasn't a sadist I deliberately didn't focus entirely on those topics for my revision, but I did
look at them. And then I walked into the exam, and eight of the nine questions were his
Coughs.

I have a sneaking suspicion that no one answered the ninth question – on the impact General
Gordon's death at Khartoum had on Britain's Africa policy. Anyway – I answered three quite
nice ones: To what extent did the Jameson Raid make the Boer War inevitable? Why did
Britain occupy Egypt in 1882? Why did the British and French clash over Fashoda in 1898?
If anyone would like to present some answers – and point out to me where I went wrong on the
blazingly obvious, feel free to do so! But anyway, I think the exam went OK, and I'm not too
worried that I'll be back in September to re-sit it.

The Late Roman Republic Part I is tomorrow morning (or yesterday morning for those
reading this!), after which, hopefully the majority of the class will decamp to the pub and
remain there. Not all day of course – Some Like it Hot is the late night film at the cinema so
I want to be there at 10:30pm. The exam will be a three hour semi-monster which I think I
should be more concerned about – I know I'll be bricking it first thing tomorrow.

I've spent the last week and a half 9-5ing it in Parliament Hall – a nice Uni building to
work in, it only fits about 40 people around its few tables, and isn't overheated – unlike the
main library where you can barely find a seat and it's so hot you're drowsy inside five
minutes. The library has been open 24-hours though for the exam weeks, by popular demand
and as an experiment. I haven't been in there in the middle of the night yet – I value my
sleep during exams – but I might have to, to show support etc etc. Perhaps after the film
tomorrow night?

After exams of course comes the house cleaning. We have to be out of the house on
Saturday, and so I have two days to pack and clean. We've split the cleaning up – Clare and I
are doing the kitchen because we only trust ourselves and Dave to clean properly and thought
we'd keep that, Dave's doing the sitting room and Mary and Jack are doing the bathrooms –
though I foresee swiping round them on Saturday morning to check – I want my deposit back.
Mary and Clare sharing a room and doing the same course has sudden bloomed into full tension.
They can't actually manage to work in the same room together. It doesn't help that they have
the same friends and Mary is inclined to be a little possessive – especially as she works in
such a way that she manages to stress everyone out during exams, so they don't want to trot
round to see her and relax. They're also a little afraid of the 'Why aren't you talking to
meeee?
' question.

Anyway – the house will dissolve on Saturday morning. Mary and Clare will see each other
in Manchester next year, and I'm sure manage to be civil to each other. I'll bump into Jack
around St Andrews and the Hiking Club and receive a nod and a grunt if I'm honoured, and
Dave and I will have to try not to get the giggles too much during Late Roman Republic Part
II next semester. But right now, I have to get back to revision...

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