An African Adventure: Plains, Trains and... Part 1

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This is the first time that the Knolly Estate has allowed the great man's memoirs to be published. What follows is the thirty fifth section of 'The African Adventure'.

Anyone for Dennis Part 5

Well, yes, the scenery was glorious and very African but it was getting very hot and a bullocks' behind swinging to and fro can be very hypnotic when one isn't concentrating on events in hand.

Bertie, in the end, decided it was more than he could bear and so we sat behind Freddie and rigged up some sort of shading. This also meant that I didn't have to keep peering ahead to see what Elspeth was up to.

'I spy with my little eye something beginning with... oh... um... let me see now... 'Zed', yes 'zed'.' said Bertie chuckling and obviously
feeling very pleased with himself.

Let me put this into perspective, I–Spy was normally a wonderful parlour game that we had played at sometime or other in both sober and inebriated states and was fair to say a good way to pass the time on a long journey. From where we had acquired it I'm not sure, possibly Mary. It sounds the sort of thing a trainee nanny would come up with. Anyway, the journey was getting long, the view now rather dusty and Bertie had decided I needed more than stilted conversation to keep me from wallowing in Elspeth's comments before we had set off. He hadn't even asked about the new orders or where these chaps would be going after we
had reached the railway line.

'Zebra?' I replied pointing in the distance.

'Nope!' replied Bertie hugging himself with glee.

'Zoological specimen?'

'Ha, ha, good guess, but no.'

'Ziggurat, then.'

'What!... Not fair... How did you know?'

'Look, Bertie, if you will insist on wearing those things on your head, then I'm dashed well going to say things that aren't even on this continent. 'D 'for dung beetle was bad enough, when there was no way possible to see it with the naked eye. Now take them off and, if you wish to continue, let's play it as human beings with normal eyesight shall we?'

Bertie flounced down next to our luggage and packed his ocular arrangement away.

'Fine, your go then.'

'I spy with my little eye... hmmmm... Bertie my binoculars please.'

'Hey... you said normal eyesight.'

I pointed skywards. 'Notice anything odd?'

Bertie looked up and scanned the sky. 'Well, let's see. The clouds are building up into a cumulonimbus formation, but that's pretty normal considering the heat and time of day. Possibly could get some rain later...'

'Something beginning with an "A"'. I handed him my field glasses and twisted pointed his head in the desired direction.

'Ha! Now I see. "A" as in airship... Well I'm sure they're havin' a fun time in those air currents... Oh my word!' Bertie visibly began to shake and it had nothing to do with the rough terrain we were traversing.

'Bertie, it's a long way off and it doesn't seem to be heading this way.'

'You can't be certain, you were wrong last time... ' he pleaded
wagging his forefinger at me.

'Stop it, Bertie. We will take things as they come. It's true I believe the Countess has gone North, but she does have other people at her disposal and it's quiet likely she wants to make sure we are heading in the opposite direction.'

This logical explanation seemed to calm him down for the moment and I took the chance to further distract him. 'Right ho, then, still my go I think. I spy with my little eye something beginning with an "E".'

'Elspeth.'

'Nope.'

'Yes.'

'No, no, no... you're wrong. I was looking for elephant. See, over there pulling that shrub to pieces.'

'Ah, yes, but I'm looking towards the head of the column and she is riding back towards us.'

It was now my turn to turn to jelly. I stood up all too quickly and became enveloped in the swathe of material Bertie had rigged as our sun shade so that when Elspeth reined in alongside I'll wager I looked like some Egyptian's mummy. Elspeth dismounted, gave her horse to an escort to look after and climbed aboard our still rumbling wagon. Jones, with her horse in tow, threw us a salute and rode off a little way but remaining in calling distance. She was once more as dusty as on the first day we had seen her but I was glad she had ridden back to us. If only I could get myself free and take her in my arms. She took off her pith helmet and shook her hair free. A clean white line across her forehead showed where the red dust couldn't penetrate.

'Knolly, I believe you said something about lunch and I could do with something to wash this dust out of my mouth rather than warm water.'

Bertie took this as an opportunity to familiarise himself with the contents of Mrs T's hamper which, to all intents and purposes, meant that we were alone.

'Elspeth, we were just thinking about you... I mean lunch... um... perhaps you could help me out of this predicament whilst Bertie sorts out the food.'

She smiled. 'I think it will be easier if you sat down rather than trying to stand and walk. What is this all for in any case?' and she tugged at what she hoped was a loose 'end'.

'This? Oh this was an awning we rigged up to keep the sun off.'

'I rigged up you mean!' interjected Bertie waving a leg of poultry. 'Have you seen the tuck we have in this hamper - and it's still cold... Oh! Blocks of ice in boxes, that's deuced clever.'

Leaving Bertie to ponder the cooling properties of ice and stuff his face Elspeth got to grips with untangling me.

'Don't eat it all Bertie!', I called over her shoulder as she tugged this way and that. Elspeth was fair glowing with all the exertion and rivulets of perspiration were now running through the dust on her face. Together we managed to get me free amidst much hilarity and a small amount of tickling. Bertie, as soon as we had gathered our wits, magically produced a bottle of wine and three glasses from the hamper.

'I expect we could all do with a drop of this?'

We tucked into the hamper with relish but the conversation was very stilted. Both Elspeth and I avoiding the question of how much further we would be travelling together and it wasn't until Bertie decided to join Freddie upon the drivers seat that Elspeth took my hands in hers and looked me in the eye.

'Knolly, we must say goodbye for now. Bloemfontein is not too far ahead and we should be crossing the railway very shortly.'

As if to make a point, a train whistle sounded forlornly in the distance.

'Hear that, Knolly?' called Bertie. 'We must be nearly there.' How I damned his acute sense of hearing.

'Elpseth, I... that is to say we will be back as soon as we can... '

'I know, Knolly, but you have a job to do as I have I. You've given me a way to protect at least some of my brave lads and my reputation and for that I'm truly grateful. Jones!' she called and waved as she stood up. 'To me, please.'

I stood, too, took her hand and kissed it. 'Au revior then, Elpseth.'

'Why, Knolly, so formal. I'm only going Christmas shopping after all' and with that she drew me to her and kissed me fully on the lips. She smiled and looked to Bertie.

'Bertie, you'll make sure he behaves in Cape Town won't you?'

'Aha, madam, you can always trust in me!'

With that she was off the cart, onto her horse and galloping off to the head of the column. We sat and watched the troop of DeVries Light Horse until they had had become little more than dots on the horizon.

I felt Bertie's hand on my shoulder.

'She'll be alright you know, Knolly. She managed before we came along and Monty will keep her out of harms way.'

I nodded but still stared after them - or was it only her?

'Come on, old fruit, you've done what you can. Stumpy's chaps left before you could do anything about it and you can't look after everyone you know.'

'Dash it all, Bertie, that's where you're wrong! Freddie, how far to Bloemfontein?... We've got a world to save.'

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