The Caped Confuzzler - Part Five

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The Caped Confuzzler and the Most Evil of Evil Villains

That Wednesday, Keith fell asleep thinking about the things that Paul had told them about Planet Confuzzle. The next morning, Keith set out early to run some errands. The grocery store was starting a new sale, which was usually done on Monday. Something seemed very wrong. After the errands were finished, Keith went home to watch a bit of television. He slipped on his cape to refill the pockets with confuzzlement dust.

It seemed kind of odd for a Thursday. Everyone was saying how much work they had to do and how it was the beginning of another week.

'That can't be right. I could have sworn that I went to work yesterday,' thought Susan as she stopped at the post office on her way home from work. A sign on the wall caught her attention:

WANTED: BLUE MONDAY, the most evil of evil villains.

Crime: turning every day of the week into Monday.

Susan gasped as she tore the sign from the wall. Quickly, she phoned the local police department. She was told to call back on Tuesday, because they were booked all day.

'But, but, you don't understand... it won't be Tuesday.'

They hung up.

Meanwhile, Keith was waiting for his favourite Thursday-night television programme to begin. Instead, the usual Monday night line-up began.

'What?! Every channel is re doing Monday?' he said while clicking the remote. After flinging the remote onto the sofa in frustration, Keith left in a hurry to have a talk with the local television station director.

'Sir, that is our usual Monday night line-up. I don't see the problem,' said the tired-looking station director.

'It's not Monday!' argued Keith.

'It says Monday, right here on this broadcast list.'

'But...' said Keith to the director's retreating back as the director quickly left the room. I'll have to try the other station, thought Keith to himself as he absent-mindedly walked through the lobby and right into Susan.

'OW!' exclaimed Susan as she caught the wall to regain her balance after the collision.

'Sorry, didn't see you,' stammered Keith in surprise.

'It's ok, I'm in a hurry,' muttered Susan.

'Are you sure you're okay?' asked Keith.

'Yes and no,' said Susan as she held up the wanted poster. 'I'm not okay: no weekends, no Saturday morning cartoons... no... and all because of some evil... anyway...'

'Ooooohhhhh, that explains it. Come with me. By the way, my name is Keith Art,' said Keith while looking into Susan's eyes.

'Look, I don't know you, and I really shouldn't go home with complete strangers. But you seem so harmless,' answered Susan with a bit of a smile as she followed him out of the station.

Back in his house, Keith was stirring a large pot.

'What's that?' asked Susan.

'A chicken, onions, mushrooms, peppers, garlic, salt, white wine and pasta,' replied Keith while adding some more wine to the pot.

'Is that a secret anti-Monday potion?' asked Susan with a bit of sarcasm in her voice.

'No, it's dinner. I'm starved,' replied Keith with a grin.

'About the Monday problem!' hissed Susan.

'Oh, well that's easy. I have this de-Monday dust, you see. All we have to do is track down Blue Monday and dump some of the dust on him,' answered Keith in a placating tone that somehow calmed Susan.

'I suppose you have a cape to go with that de-Monday dust,' muttered Susan in an offhand manner.

'Of course I do. It's all cloud-blue with a silver lining,' answered Keith in his most charming tone.

Over dinner, Keith explained how the de-Monday dust makes Mondays seem less Monday-like. He even modeled the cape for Susan before offering to walk her home. Susan accepted his offer and gave him her phone number as he left her house.

After dinner, our hero could be seen wandering the streets looking for sad children and tired adults. This block seems to be the saddest. That must mean it's been Monday the longest here, he thought to himself. Now, that guy over there seems to be the only one who isn't sad. I'll bet that's him, thought the Caped Confuzzler as he opened the lid on the tin of de-Monday dust, waiting with bated breath for just the right moment...

And then, the suspect stepped into the moonlight.

*Foomp* went the cloud of de-Monday dust. It was the end of the fake Mondays and even real Mondays would not seem so bad any more.

'No! You've ruined my plan!' moaned the now-powerless evil villain.

'That's the point! I want to see my favourite television show!' exclaimed the caped hero with a disarming grin.

The Caped Confuzzler Archive

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