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Frankenstein (Genetically Modified) Foods

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Correct labelling of foods is necessary to enable true consumer choice. However, at present the media are presenting genetically modified foods as "Frankenstein Foods". This is unfair. Frankenstein's monster was not a Genetically Modified (GM) product. He was a Zombie. Fruit trees are the real Frankenstein Foods, being made by the grafting together of the severed limbs of different plants.

So we still need a suitable name for GM foods. Dalek1 foods is more suitable, especially for tinned GM food or meals on wheels. This though is a bit too geeky to catch on.

You could perhaps suggest call them "Family Foods", thus indicating that you are eating a protein derived from creatures you may be related to; and also to suggest that a large international organisation is responsible for their production... in the same way that "Adult themes" suggests the chance to giggle at the visibility of buttocks and breasts

GM food products combine genetic traits from completely unrelated sources, in a way that could never occur naturally. You could never get your cat to mate with your African Violet, for example. No one knows what unforeseen consequences may arise, when nature reclaims the new genetic coding.

In the words of HRH the Prince of Wales:

"Major problems may, as we are assured, be very unlikely, but if something does go wrong with GM crops we will be faced with a form of pollution that is self-perpetuating. I don't think anyone knows how to clean up after that sort of incident, or who would have to pay for it. And I expect someone thought it was a good idea - at the time - to introduce the rabbit and the cane toad to Australia"

Genetically modified corn (maize) has already had unexpectedly adverse effects on beneficial insects, such as lady birds and lacewings, and butterflies, which feed on nearby plants contaminated by insecticidal pollen.

Perhaps a better name might be "InGen Foods" in honour of Jurassic Park's Dr. Hammond, who assured us of the infallibility of his genetic experiments.

1Genetically engineered beings created by the evil genius Davros (as seen on the BBC).

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