There once was a witch from Nantucket...
Created | Updated Apr 17, 2004
Very Bad Limericks for Halloween
Griselda the copper-haired witch
Got drunk and collapsed in a ditch.
When she tried to resume
She fell off of her broom -
Halloween can be a real bitch.
A flyover on her broomstick
Caused Granny to take action quick.
A dreadful smellfungus
Was living among us -
A kilo of Deet did the trick.
A withered up warlock named Al
Brewed up a potion most foul.
Bat guano, eye of newt
Hanged-man's bone, mandrake root -
One sip made his old gal Sal howl.
There was an old lady so creepy
That one look at her made you sleepy.
Don't ring her doorbell
She might cast a spell -
'Less you want to be a frog leaping.
A question, asked Sir Randolph Newell
Of a two-headed, three-legged ghoul.
Every Halloween night
You act such a fright -
Did you study deportment in school?
A goblin, a werewolf and Fred
Had an argument over their bed.
There were crumbs on the sheets
From the cookies Fred eats -
So the werewolf ate Fred instead.
There once was a vampire named Nat
Who lived with a very large bat,
A toad and three lizards
Who feasted on gizzards -
And a red-eyed, bubonic rat.
We rise from the ooze and the mud
Covered with cobwebs and blood.
Trick or Treat, Trick or Treat
Give us something good to eat -
Or find yourselves pummeled with crud.
There once was a witch from Nantucket
Who lived with a vampire named Puckett.
When a roll in the coffin
Left Puckett a coughin' -
She gave him a Vicks and said suck it.
