Swiv's Idea of a University

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We're now in the process of winding down to the end of term. Or perhaps it should be winding-up, because things are suddenly getting even crazier.

In the last fortnight I have: polished off one essay, just started writing another, been to Glasgow to see Radiohead and do my Christmas shopping, bonded with my former housemate, and put in my hours at 'Trial by Jury' rehearsals.

In the next week and a half I have to: go to a dress rehearsal and performance of Trial by Jury (I'm in the orchestra), go to the after-show party and then get up for a 9am tutorial the next morning (Laura and I will be falling asleep on each other's shoulders, if that's physically possible), cook Christmas dinner, go to Dundee to see the
first two Lord of the Rings films, go to a modern history tutorial and present a gobbet that I've yet to write, go back to Dundee to see Return of the King, write an essay and put together a group presentation.

The beloved Professor Smith, by the way, flung this group presentation, at us last Friday. He's decided that holding a revision class to which we bring our 'questions' doesn't work. So we're doing presentations instead. Despite the fact that we all have two essays due in over these last two weeks – most of them for him. I know marking about eighteen essays will spoil his weekend, but I was planning to finish this last essay by Sunday and play away the next week. Now, by the looks of it, I'll be sitting down next Thursday to work out a brief talk about how Pompey is represented in ancient sources.

I have, however, done almost all my Christmas shopping, which means that I can be a social gadfly this week when not working (and the essay has started off tolerably well, so we can hope...). I decided that since Dave (former housemate) and I were going to Glasgow to see Radiohead I might as well shop the next day. So I did my Christmas shopping on 1st December. I think it was just about legitimate, though I didn't feel very Christmassy at the time. I hate Christmas shopping; it makes me feel like Scrooge. I never know what
to buy for people, not without spending a fortune that I don't have. It's done now though, and I feel a bit better about it. I think I've got people things they'll like. If not, well, it's kind of tough. Just for the record – Radiohead were amazing.

So, after Christmas shopping with the one former housemate – one that I actually still talk to (well, he's in my ancient history class, I have to, you know) – I went to try and bond with another. That other would be Mary, one of the medics (the other medic I still talk to – it's tended to lead to large phone bills), who is now doing her clinical training in Manchester. For anyone who read this column last year (who am I kidding?) she and Jack are still very much attached, and
she was coming up for the weekend. A little while ago, in a spirit of late-October amicability, I emailed her to apologise, vaguely, that things hadn't worked out better last year. To my astonishment she replied. And so, when she came up to see Jack we arranged to meet. It was lovely and tense.

Some pleasant uncomfortable silences appeared, but were quickly swept away in a fluster of inane chatter. Yet we managed to be civil and avoided having any deep and meaningful discussions about what went wrong last year – a good thing because it would probably have ended in tears (her) and furious frustration (me) – and the chai was very nice.

Currently the big event is Trial by Jury, which is being performed – for one night only – tomorrow night (or tonight by the time this is published). I've played for the last few Gilbert and Sullivan productions, and I generally enjoy them, despite all my whinging about the fact that Sullivan appears not to have heard of the 'Brass Section'. The Gilbert and Sullivan Society President is seeking to make a huge profit out of the show, so if any of you feel like hurtling up to St Andrews this evening (getting the days right now), Trial by
Jury will be performed at 7:30pm in the Younger Hall. Please do come along.

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