The following events took place at the Butlins resort in Bognor Regis between Sunday 9 May and Monday 10 May 2004. No badgers were harmed in the making of this log.

See Part 1 here

Sunday

• 0200 - The group come back from the Badger Inferno to find Reefgirl broke into the chalet at 1230 to nick the stereo and EV's beer for the chalet next door, under the pretence of checking up on Justin
• 0210 - Genie given foot massage: 'I never thought I'd be moaning 2legs' name!'
• 0226 - Attempts to decipher entry at 2156 unsuccessful
• 0227 - EV wants to knock up Nighthoover
• 0230 - fords turns into Serephina
• 0235 - A man comes to the door to tell everyone to shut up. The badgers comply
• 0236 - But the mushrooms don't
• 0241 - 2legs is wearing badgerskin pants. Northern Boy: 'Phone the RSPCC! Think of the children!'
• 0253 - EV: 'Where can we get some magic badgers at this time of night?'
• 0255 - The Badger Parade meets the Beatles
• 0256 - 2legs needs counselling
• 0257 - How many badgers must a man walk down?
• 0258 - We all live in a yellow badgerine...
• 0311 - Hey now, little badger!
• 0321 - 2legs reduced to tears by fords and EV's Bohemian Badgery
• 0322 - David 'Badger' Bowie joins in
• 0330 - fords and EV 'discover' the 'In case of a badger' notice on the front door
• 1331 - Genie to Serephina: 'I noticed you were naked but only after I jumped on you'
• 1337 - Serephina's legs revealed to be covered in badger bites
• 1455 - After the carnie's unsuccessful attempt to lock the safety harness, EV declared officially 'fat'
• 1600 - Reefgirl and Excelsior leave for home, driven out by badgers
• 1623 - 2legs gets a puncture and deflates
• 1624 - The challenge to go without mentioning badgers fails miserably. The group lasts 7 seconds
• 1624 - 2legs has a computer chair with a built-in catheter
• 1630 - Genie: 'I have an extendible pokey stick. I extended it and poked her with it'
• 1639 - 2legs to fords: 'Your diet must be limited, seeing as you can't eat real food'¹
• 1644 - Genie admits to having a pretend lasso
• 1800 - Ellie finally gives in to the badgers
• 1806 - Return of the living dead²
• 1823 - 2legs tries to pluck his legs
• 1825 - Why are there so many gaps in the log?
• That's easy - it was the badgers
• 1827 - fords is a badger
• 1846 - EV asks 2legs to touch his badger
• 1900 - Sausage sandwiches
• 1907 - Genie complains of an arse problem
• 1927 - 2legs has a feel of Serephina's PVC trousers
• 1930 - fords needs chocolate
• 2015 - Badgers banned. 2legs quickly starts on the aardvarks
• 2100 - Too much caffeine has Serephina wanting to wash the windows
• 2215 - The Wrong Trousers
• 2220 - The Mohicans take over. Attempt to retune telly failed
• 2330 - fords, EV, 2legs, Justin and Sandra head out to Badger King

Monday

• 0030 - fords still a badger - not only a badger, but Goddess of All Badgers
• 0045 - the group watch a Jack the Ripper film with Barbara Windsor in it. Film is renamed Carry on Ripping
• 0130 - EV goes to bed in disgust when he discovers Sid James isn't playing the Ripper
• 0400 - Dmons thinks there are burglars but it is just Serephina 'smoking a fag'
• 0800 - Genie won't let anyone have breakfast until they have packed their bags³
• 0900 - Northern Boy makes a quick exit, leaving 2legs with backache...
• 0910 - Cheesy Doritos and lots of choc found under table in living room
• 0920 - fords has the lurgy
• 0940 - Ellie loves bad girls; 2legs wants more vodka
• 1000 - EV goes all embarassed as his birthday is celebrated a day early - then sees his cake
• 1012 - 2legs and fords have a fight over half a bottle of Southern Comfort
• 1013 - EV settles the argument by taking the bottle for himself
• 1021 - Serephina: 'They have badgers at Beaver Waterworld'
• 1030 - The intrepid researchers start making their respective ways home, thoroughly badgered out after a hard weekend spent badgering their little badgers off

Photos by Genie
Photos by Archangel Dr Justin
Photos by Reefgirl

Deciphered by fords

13.05.04 Front Page

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