Itches Content from the guide to life, the universe and everything


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Itching can be a exceedingly unpleasant experience that happens to everybody at some point in their lives. There are three main types of itches which can strike at any time - day or night:

  • The common itch is the type that can be easily scratched and goes away instantly.

  • The sneaky itch, although not the worst, is the type when scratched it moves around the sufferer's body which becomes extremely annoying the longer it moves around.

  • The under the skin, full body, complete and utter, rip your skin off and stamp on it itch is the type which can only be soothed by waiting it out or the patented ripping the skin off technique.

Itching can be caused by rashes, insects, dry grass, the hair that falls down the back of your T-shirt after you have had a haircut and can't be got at by that small brush they wave around, and the like.

As an aid to help sufferers of this terrible affliction many a device has been invented to cope with the area in the small of the back that just can't be reached with your own hands. These are little more than small rake-like sticks and are completely useless. The most full-proof way of eliminating an itch is to rub yourself up against a tree. This should only be used as a last resort as you'll receive odd looks from anyone passing by.

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