Space, Time and Stuff Like That...
Created | Updated Dec 25, 2004
ONE of the most troublesome and largely misunderstood things about the Universe is the subject of Time and what in fact it is really all about. Indeed, it is such a peculiar and ridiculously complicated concept to try and get your head around that few life-forms who have populated the infinitely far flung denizens of the known Universe have ever really been able to come to grips with it - especially the ones without any heads.
At first, it all seemed pretty straight forward enough: Almost as soon as you had crawled out of the primeval sludge of your planet's swamps and oceans and headed out towards the beckoning horizons of the land masses, Time was simply an instinctive consciousness measure of external stimuli; indicating when it was necessary to waken from sleep, when it was necessary to wash and feed, when it was necessary to mate and in the more advanced stages of evolution when it was necessary to put the kettle on.
After that, things became a bit more difficult and a whole lot of questions began to be asked about the true nature of Time and its actual mechanics. Like, when did it begin? How will it end? What is its structure and how come you always seem to get 3 bus shuttles arriving at the same time after you've been stood there waiting for half an hour?
Various experiments have been carried out into the endless possibilities afforded by the ability to manipulate Time and actually control it by the use of multispacial hyper-computers. The most notable in this regard was the giant Cyberdigitek Corporation of Alpha Centuri, who invested their huge resources into the setting up of the most comprehensive and intensive research programs into Time manipulation the known Universe has ever seen.
It was later disbanded after it was discovered that half its board of directors had won the galactic lottery 6 months running while its Chairman bankrupted several large bookmakers before retiring to his very own planet in the Eastern Spiral arm of the Crab Nebula.
All this goes to prove that Time is a whole lot more mysterious than most people think.
It's a lot more complicated too.
It is the stitch which holds the fabric of the Universe together, the all pervading dimension which allows the cogs of reality to turn in a seamless stretch of infinity, the all embracing measure of reality and comprehension, cementing together the realization of existence inexplicably together with its infuriating relationship with the timer on that cheap video recorder you bought, persuading it to capture a whole two hours of Open University programmes on dung beetles and the logistical theories of algebraic bilateral equations when you knew damn well you'd set it to record that early evening quiz show on the BBC.
Time, as well as being mysterious and really, really complex also has a horribly perverse sense of humour.
For more details see: http://the-time-travelers-almanac.blogspot.com/
