There are a number of places well-known for food around Torbay, all

with quite distinct characters. For fresh fish right off the market,

Brixham's harbour side is justly famous. Away from the sea, a good

number of small village pubs have excellent reputations for home-made

food. And let's not forget Paignton, with post-pub kebab shops and

takeaways good enough to make the hangover justified. Fair enough. Paignton isn't exactly full of culinary delights.

In many ways, however, Torquay is the one of the three resorts that

makes a trip to Torbay worthwhile. It has a reasonably attractive

harbour side surrounded by pavement cafes and a growing continental

atmosphere, and the long, level promenade beloved of the elderly who

make up the bulk of the town's visitors.

And it has the perhaps best dining area of all. The harbour side

and Torwood Street, which runs just off it, has a wide selection of

eateries, from classy Italian places and fresh seafood restaurants to

good curry houses and pizzerias. Competition is fierce, but without

exception all seem to thrive. For quality and choice, there is little

to beat the area in the whole of Devon.

To celebrate my fiancée's birthday, we headed for one of the

best-known Torwood Street restaurants, Hooks.

If the name itself wasn't enough of a tip-off, the life-size model

pirate standing outside gives the game away somewhat. Hooks is a

pirate-themed restaurant, with staff dressing in hooped T-shirts and

pictures of Cap'n Jack Sparrow adorning the walls. Each guest

receives their own skull-and-crossbones pirate hat alongside their

place setting and, somewhat predictably, guests sitting down do so to

a chorus of 'ooh-arr's. This is not uncommon in Devon, of course,

even at Chinese restaurants, but the whole spirit was one of good

humour and fun.

The place was packed with it being a Saturday night, and it certainly

wasn't an atmosphere conducive to a quiet, romantic meal. However,

this was the way it should be - long ago, we went there together for a

meal for two on a weekday evening, and felt more like castaways on a

life raft than crew on a jolly pirate ship. It's not for everyone, but

a place like Hooks only really works when it's busy.5/5

It's only fair to mitigate my review of the service by mentioning

that the restaurant was full to bursting. It was a heaving Saturday

night, and the place was packed with groups celebrating various

birthdays and anniversaries. It was so busy that if the tables had

been any closer together they would have been on top of one another,

and most of our party, once seated, were unable to move at all.

When we arrived, we were shown into a downstairs bar - an excellent

idea which really took the pressure off the staff upstairs. The bar

was poorly stocked, and every time we ordered a glass of wine the

barman had to run upstairs to get a glass; drinks were forgotten, and

the general impression was of a rather badly-prepared bar. The

impression of poor management continued upstairs; it took us a long

while to get seated due to a lack of space, and whoever had organised

the lay-out had missed two golden rules of restaurant management. The

first is that you should always remember that a full chair takes up

more space than an empty one, and the second is that your staff have

to be able to manoeuvre around the tables in order to serve.

Ignorance of the latter meant that it was impossible for the waiting

staff to take drinks orders, and food was passed down the line of

guests rather than being placed in front of us. Service from the

kitchen was fast, and the situation did ease towards the end of the

meal when a neighbouring table departed. The staff did an admirable

job under the circumstances, but inexperienced management let the

service down. 1/5

With so much competition around, and a heavy reliance on out-of-season

trade, restaurants have to produce the goods to survive. It was

little surprise to find the food was very good. There is little

extravagance on the menu, and meat-eaters will be much happier with

the choice than vegetarians. If you like steak, you'll be happy; you

can have any type of steak cooked any way you want it with any sauce

you like. Ribs are served with a delicious sauce, although the claim

that it is 'soon to be famous' is perhaps a little over-egged. My

lamb shank fell off the bone as I picked it up. All in all, they do

meat very, very well. The kitchen is open-plan, so you can watch the

flames shooting into the air as your steak is cooked.

I always think the inclusion of mussels on the menu shows a certain

amount of confidence; they don't keep for long, and to offer them

means you have to be pretty sure you'll sell them. I was assured by a

seafood-loving friend that they were delicious, and definitely

fresh.

I did have one or two quibbles. I've had less fatty ribs, and

certainly more tender ones, and the vegetables had probably been held

in a hot plate for a long time before we received them. These were

minor issues, however, and didn't detract from the fleshfest.

9/10

If you like a lively atmosphere and honest slabs of meat, you'll be

delighted. If you're a vegetarian after an intimate evening, you

won't. A restaurant cannot hope to tick every box, and service aside

Hooks does fun very well. 8/10

This column is open to contributions from all members of

the h2g2 community. All submissions are accepted on the basis that

they are honest and unbiased, and all opinions expressed are those of

the reviewers, who may not be professional restaurant critics. Send

your reviews to the usual submissions address.

Our Man in Milliways Archive

Skankyrich

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