Beginning life in the same way as most normal people, physicists soon begin to develop an unnatural aversion to the natural world.

Preferring instead to stay indoors away from the scary world of people, they often show abilities in the arts of PE teacher dodging and coffee drinking.

These attributes in themselves would not be considered any different to sixth form students all over the UK, except that physicists eschew the standard drinking circles, preferring the half of the common room designated "sad".

Common room segregation is a condition that must be STOPPED if any of these worthy people are to regain their identities as members of the Human Race.

The rest of the race complain that physicists smell and that this is the reason for their enforced separation: this is a VICIOUS LIE, or at the least an unfair generalisation.

At what point does a person become a physicist? Current evidence suggests that even before a degree course has been decided on this cruel transmogrification begins.

Watching Star Trek is an indication although in these trendsetting days many prefer the "more nineties" Star Wars. This is not entirely the fault of Ewan Macgregor.

When at university, the physicist may take some while to become acclimatised to the new environment. After three years however he / she may actually begin to enjoy lab.

This is a bad sign and the physicist will need careful watching from this moment on, although possibly being beyond redemption.

Further signs include the wearing of cardigans, with or without leather elbow patches; the growth of facial hair ("beards") in mostly male physicists; and the reading of physics into all situations.

"One atom said to his friend "I think I've lost an electron." "Are you sure?" said his friend, understandably concerned. "Yeah," he replied, "I'm positive."

Boom boom.

This is a Physics joke. It is to be avoided AT ALL COSTS. There are many worse, but the meaning of "the one with the biggest mu" would escape the non-physicist and so only the simplest has been recorded here.

Physicists also like to spend their free time developing new theories, such as the Goblin Theory, shortly to appear on this very user page.

Do not avoid the physicist, he / she is as human as you or I. And maybe perhaps with a little bit of lovin' many can be returned to their parents to recover, and need never be ashamed again.

Anyone who wants further stereotypical images in this vein should go see The Breakfast Club.