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Augusta, Georgia, USA

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Nicknamed 'The Garden City', Augusta is a middle-sized city on the eastern edge of the state of Georgia, USA.


It would be quite a pleasant place to visit, were it not for the stench. Augusta is also known as 'Disgusta' by those that have spent any time in the area, for the city is home to several paper mills and a meat packing plant, all of which contribute to its highly distinctive odour.

Adding to Augusta's olfactory charm is the city's sewage treatment plant, which is conveniently located next to the city's main airport. Visitors arriving in Augusta are greeted by the aroma of fermenting sludge as soon as they disembark, ensuring that newcomers are given a true whiff of Augusta's finest the moment they arrive.


Downtown is marked by a hodgepodge of decrepit skyscrapers, including the Lamar Building which is topped by a quite interesting IM Pei1 penthouse which would look much more at home on the Death Star from Star Wars. Downtown also has many abandoned storefronts. Trains run right through the middle of downtown at all hours of the day or night, and most especially during rush hour when commuters are eager to get out of town and return to their homes in neighbouring South Carolina.


In April, Augusta hosts the Masters Golf Tournament. Casual visitors would be well advised to avoid Augusta at all costs during Masters Week, as all the restaurants are permanently booked, bars raise their drink prices, and traffic jams on Washington Road become reminiscent of a New York gridlock.

Augusta's most famous resident is no doubt James Brown, the 'Godfather of Soul' and frequent visitor to Augusta's fine jail facilities, having spent periods in there for various illegal activities.

1Ieoh Ming Pei is a Chinese-American architect, most famous for the glass pyramids in the Louvre, Paris, France.

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