Five Gold Rings

Well I've seen so much lately of Sydney

That I've started just calling it Syd;

The sacred flame burned itself out long before

All the training shoe ads ever did.

Maid Marion aimed to take gold from the rich

And just keep it, which seemed rather mean;

But knowing her husband's a nandrolone cheat

Made it hard to believe that she's clean.

We had Eric the Eel become famous

Treading water and playing the fool;

He was not so much racing as drowning -

Should have stayed in the paddling pool.

And it's three cheers for iron-man Redgrave

As he won his historic fifth gold;

Who knows? He might go on 'til Athens

Though he would be Acropolis-old.

But the star of the games has been Sydney

With its opera house, harbour and bridge;

As the home crowds revered the Thorpedo

And, through Freeman, their land's heritage.