A Life on the Ocean Wave: Dubai

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The Achille Lauro

Hello. My name is Emma and I go on cruises. Mostly, so far on P&O ships out of Southampton, but other perfectly good cruise companies are available. ;-) When I can, I con my parents into paying for my ticket.

When I travel, I blog. If you would like to read it all, it can be found at my PS. The Post have asked me to proffer some edited highlights of my ramblings, which I shall now inflict on you forthwith. Enjoy.

Dubai

Two things I didn't expect in Dubai (yes, I know this is going back a bit, bear with me, I've had a lot on my mind recently). 1. The traffic. Absolutely solid. All day. Our tour bus took five cycles of traffic lights just to get away from its starting point! 2. The humidity. I just assumed that because it's an oil/desert-type country, the heat would be dry heat. But, it is much further north than most "Arabian" countries and is actually sub-tropical, same as Mumbai. The humidity was astonishing. Of course, as Dubai has the highest water consumption in the world (they seem oddly proud of this...), most of which they use to water their lawns and spray into the air via their myriad fountains, it's perhaps not all that surprising.

Dubai is the manifestation of what happens if you have WAY too much money and WAY too much time on your hands. From a small pearl fishing village to a massive modern city in less than forty years. A city built almost entirely of follies. Not little bitty follies, like a miniature castle at the bottom of the garden. Big, massive, multi-billion dollar ones that glint in the sun. A massive ski slope with 250 million tonnes of real snow on 5 pistes. In a sub-tropical desert state. The World - a set of man-made islands that form a map of the world. Own your own island! Own your own country! The Palm - a purpose built set of islands in the shape of a palm tree, with Atlantis on the Palm, one of the most extraordinary holiday resorts in the world at the far end. The Burj Dubai, a hotel that looks like the sail of a yacht. With its own limo team to get you from the airport. By helicopter. And, of course, the Burj Khalifa (known to most as the Burj Dubai because they only changed the name on the day they opened it, after all the maps had been reprinted!), the tallest building on Earth. Half a mile straight up. I was hoping to go up it, but not only is it rather expensive to do, but the opening was so recent, that you still have to book over a day in advance to be allowed to go up it. Mind you, as the lift apparently travels at 18m per second, I'm not sure I'm all that disappointed...

The Burj Khalifa

Another thing the people of Dubai are not short of is shops. Of the twenty-odd stops on the Hop-On Hop-Off Bus Tour thingy, probably more than two thirds were shopping malls. Big ones, bigger ones, small ones, cheap local ones, ones built to look like Egyptian pyramids - Debenhams, Waitrose, Bloomingdales, Saks Fifth Avenue - you name it, they've got, not just a presence here, but a whopping great store that you need a rest halfway around. Some malls are so large, they have golf carts to get you from A to B, because B is just so far away from A. The largest shopping mall in the world is here, unsurprisingly. It has a 12 million gallon aquarium in the middle of it1. Another is attached to the ski slope and is the biggest in... oh, I don't know. Everything is the biggest. It's exhausting!

Factoid of the Day: In the days after Nine Eleven, when all flights were grounded in the USA, the average temperature across the USA rose 3 degrees. This is because aeroplanes cause vapour trails and vapour trails cause clouds and the clouds reflect the heat of the sun back away from the Earth. So if we stop flying, global warming will actually get worse. There, that should mess with your head nicely for a while...

Anyway, back to the present day. Tropical night/deck party night. Which means all the waiters at dinner wear Hawaiian shirts, we all got a lei with our dinner napkins, and we were asked to dress up "tropically", i.e. Hawaiian shirts, flowery dresses, flowers in the hair, etc. I wore navy trousers with my silk Hawaiian shirt with the parrots on, and three scrunchies - one blue to match the shirt, one with a white flower and one with a sunflower. There's a disco on the top deck, around the pool (well, one of them) - this is the "deck party" bit. Had a superb time, but discovered that the same cocktail on Deck 12 in the Riviera Bar is SIGNIFICANTLY stronger than the same cocktail on Deck 7 in the Masquerade bar. Got quite sloshed, frankly, let's not mince words. I was swaying, literally. And, unfortunately, as the sea was smooth as glass, I couldn't even blame it on the ship! So sloshed was I that there may have been dancing, there may even have been some Macarena. Sorry... I do apologise, really, I do. Mostly to poor Guy and Simon, with whom I spent the evening. Poor souls... Bed at 2.30am. Clocks forward another half hour. Final thought. There are a LOT of teetotal people on this ship... and they're a grumpy bunch...

A Life on the Ocean Wave Archive

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05.04.10 Front Page

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1This piece was originally posted on my blog in late January/early February. Last week (early March) the Aquarium at the Dubai Mall had to close due to a massive leak... This is noteworthy of itself, but I've only been to four aquaria in my life and now two of those have sprung leaks – the London Aquarium did it while we were there, we watched the water trickle towards us across the floor! I think I should avoid aquaria – I may be a bit of a jinx. If anyone knows the phone number for the one in Manchester and the one in Cape Town, maybe you should warn them...

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