The Universal Cocktail List comes close to naming all combinations of alcoholic drink on Earth. If you've got a favourite drink that's not listed, why not post a conversation about it below?

Please note that we take absolutely no responsibility for headaches, stained shirts or halitosis issues that result from the abuse of the following concoctions. They are provided on the understanding that you are aware your body wasn't designed to take copious amounts of alcohol without complaining about it for a whole week afterwards.

More advice can be found in the entry on hangovers.

Atomic Mind Blower

Ingredients

• 1 bottle of gin
• 1 bottle of vodka
• 1 shot Cointreau or Grand Marnier

Method

• Place bottle of gin and bottle of vodka in freezer overnight, preferably at -18°C or 0°F (don't worry, they do not freeze)
• Place 1 shot of very cold gin and 1 shot of very cold vodka into a very cold glass
• Add one shot of Cointreau or Grand Marnier

Notes

• Can be drunk or poured over ice cream for a very chilling experience.

Black Russian

Ingredients

• Tia Maria or Kahlua
• Vodka

Method

• Mix one-third Tia Maria or Kahlua with two-thirds vodka
• Add ice

Black Velvet

Ingredients

• Half a pint of Guinness
• Half a pint of cider

Method

• Pour the cider into the half a pint of Guinness.

Notes

• Upon completion of the two being mixed together a mind blowing bittersweet concoction is produced.
• As the above consists of a pint of liquid going into a pint glass, the first couple of attempts will cause a large amount of froth.
• The cider should be of one of the stronger varieties.
• For the rich man's version use champagne instead of cider.

Blog: The Minneapolis Blog

Ingredients

• 4 quarts ginger ale
• 12 oz (one can) frozen orange juice
• 12 oz (one can) frozen lemonade
• 12 oz (one can) frozen limeade
• 6 oz grenadine
• 12 oz vodka
• Lots of ice

Method

• Mix ingredients in a medium-to-large bucket

Notes

• If it's going to take you a while to drink it, add the ice gradually.
• To make St. Paul Blog, leave out the vodka.

Bloody Mary

Ingredients

• Pepper vodka (Absolut Peppar is fine) to taste
• Mixture of Half Tomato Juice and Half V8 Vegetable Juice
• Tabasco
• Worcestershire Sauce
• 2-3 tablespoons of beef consommé (no, really)
• Salt
• Pepper
• Celery Salt, if you can find it

Method

• Serve well mixed over ice with a celery stick, and hope that the world goes away

Notes

• Tabasco makes an excellent extra spicy Bloody Mary mix when added to grated horseradish. I find that adding some diced garlic and a splash of vinaigrette dressing (a nice strong one, not the sugary rubbish) also adds to it nicely, along with a squeeze of lime and a lot of freshly ground black pepper. And then whatever alcohol you prefer.
• The breakfast of champions!

The Brain Haemorrhage

Ingredients

• Strawberry schnapps
• Grenadine
• Baileys Irish Cream Liqueur

Method

• Pour 3/4 of an ounce of chilled strawberry schnapps into a glass
• Plop in a dash of Grenadine
• Carefully add some chilled Baileys to the mix
• Stand back and watch what happens.

Notes

• If your stomach is still OK with this, drink it down.

Cement Mixer

Ingredients

• 2/3 shot of Baileys
• 1/3 shot of Rosa's lime juice or cranberry juice

Method

• Fill a shot glass about 2/3-full with Baileys and top off with the lime or cranberry juice
• Make sure not to mix them, but let the juice sit in a layer on top of the Baileys
• Then have the drinker bottoms up and swish around. What happens is that when the Baileys and Lime/Cranberry Juice mix in their mouth they congeal into a nice thick cement-like substance, hence the name.

Notes

• I've never tried this one myself but I've seen it drunk by other people and not many seem to enjoy it. It's more of a joke drink to buy for an unsuspecting freshly turned 21-year-old.
• Or an 18-year-old if you're English.
• It can also be mixed 'live' in the mouth, preferably in a dentist's chair.

The Chocolate Orange

Ingredients

• Orange juice
• Tia Maria

Method

• Put two measures of Tia Maria into a schooner
• Top up with orange juice

Notes

• If you like this, you might like to try the Ghostbuster.

Cointreau Caipirinha

Ingredients

• 2 measures of Cointreau
• Ice
• 1 lime

Method

• Get a couple of handfuls of ice and crush them - don't hold back! You're looking to break the ice down into fine chips - you may find it helpful to put the ice in a plastic bag first so that the bits don't ricochet across the room when you smash them with a mallet...
• Once you've got the ice, find a solid tumbler and fill it almost to the brim
• Choose a nice succulent lime, wash it, chop it in half and cut one of the halves into quarters, then squeeze those over the ice in the tumbler
• Once you've done that, lob the quarters in there as well - they add a lovely splash of colour
• Pour in a couple of measures of Cointreau, and stir. The drink will take on a slightly cloudy consistency as the water mixes with the essential oils in the Cointreau
• That's it - sit back and enjoy!

Notes

• The sharp taste of the lime juice acts as a counterpoint to the underlying metaphor of the sweetness of the Cointreau, making a drink that's particularly refreshing, especially on a hot summer's day.

Crazy Finn

Ingredients

• 500ml 100 proof 'Finlandia' vodka
• 500ml 100 proof 'Minttu' peppermint schnapps
• 1,000ml 'Sprite' soft drink

Method

• Chill the ingredients. -10°C should do fine. This represents the Finnish average summer temperature. Please don't try to chill the Sprite to under 0°C, though, unless you like mopping up sticky stuff from your floor
• Pour equal amount of vodka and peppermint schnapps into a tall glass
• Fill up the glass with Sprite and mix well

Notes

• Guaranteed to make you very happy. Even deliriously so. Watch out for a drowsy side effect if consumed too quickly...

Dark Side of The Force

Ingredients

• Kahula
• Baileys Irish Cream
• Chocolate milk

Method

• Thoroughly chill all ingredients
• Just mix to taste in no particular order or amount

Notes

• Best served in a chilled glass.
• Best drunk while watching a movie in the privacy of your own home.
• Even better drunk in a crowded movie theatre.
• It's called the Dark Side of The Force for its powerful ability to seduce you and blind you (especially in large quantities).

Eg Shot¹

Ingredients

• After Shock, a red, spicy cinnamon liqueur
• Baileys Irish Cream

Method

• Fill the shot glass 3/4 of the way to the top with After Shock
• Top the glass up with Baileys, so that the Baileys floats on top of the After Shock

Notes

• Run the Baileys down the back of the spoon to avoid sinkage
• The idea of combining Baileys with After Shock may not appeal to your average drinker, but I suggest trying it first. The Baileys actually helps prevent the nasty of aftertaste of the After Shock

Flaming Dr Pepper

Ingredients

• 1 shot of amaretto
• 1 shot of 151-proof rum
• 1 glass of beer

Method

• Top the shot of amaretto with the 151-proof rum and set on fire
• Drop flaming shot into glass of beer
• Pound before drink foams all over the place

Flaming Lamborghini

Ingredients

• 1 shot of Kahlua
• 1 shot of Cointreau
• 1 shot of Sambuca
• 1 shot of Green Chartreuse
• 1 shot of Blue Curaçao
• 1 shot of thickened cream

Method

• In a large Martini glass layer the Kahlua, Cointreau, Sambuca, and on the top layer Green Chartreuse.
• Fill a shot glass with Blue Curaçao and another with thickened cream.
• Have a friend - a friend - light the Chartreuse and hold the shot glasses.
• Dip two straws in the glass and suck immediately.
• Your friend should add the Blue Curaçao while you are drinking, and when you get near the bottom of the glass, the cream.

Notes

• The purpose of the curaçao is a bit of a sweetener.
• The purpose of the cream is to cool your throat down.
• The purpose of the drink is to get you smashed in ten minutes.
• The purpose of buying one for someone else is usually revenge.

Frozen Margarita

Ingredients

• 6 ounces Jose Cuervo margarita mix
• 2 ounces Cuervo 1800
• A splash of Orange Curaçao (no more than 1/2 ounce)
• Juice from 1/4 fresh lime

Method

• Pour the ingredients into a blender, making sure to smell the cork from the tequila. Fill your serving glass with ice, and pour a little at a time into the whirring blender until the ice is finely crushed. Jog the blender every once in a while along the way will knock any stubborn ice chunks down into the blades. You may want to add an additional 1/4 to 1/3 of a glass of ice, depending on your slush preference. Pour carefully and slurp away!

• For the Cuervo tequila, it seems that a 3 to 1 ratio is best. You may wish to experiment with other tequilas. For example, Don Eduardo's Blue Agave is much smoother and can be mixed 2 to 1. As long as you keep the same ratio, you can vary the amount of tequila and margarita mix to your desired level.

• If you get a brain freeze from drinking the slush too fast, try holding the glass against your throat, just along your windpipe.

The Garfield

Ingredients

• Jack Daniels
• Galliano
• Coke

Method

• Layer into a glass and drink

Notes

• A smooth but dangerous summer pint.

The Ghostbuster

Ingredients

• Baileys
• Tia Maria
• Vodka
• Rye whisky
• Coke

Method

• Layer Baileys, Tia Maria and vodka into a shot glass
• Into a pint glass pour a triple rye and coke
• Drop in the shot glass and down the pint

Notes

• Do it fast. Very fast. It's dangerous!!

The Gibson

Ingredients

• Gin
• Vermouth
• Cocktail onion

Method

• Mix the perfect Gin Martini (ie 10/11th Gin, 1/10th Vermouth) in a Manhattan Glass
• Finish with a silverskin cocktail onion

Notes

• Can be either shaken or stirred, depending on your preference
• Quite simply for the gin queens out there.

The Gorilla

Method

• Take one pint tankard
• Fill to two inches of the top
• Pour in one inch of whisky (ideally manufactured in a still behind the bar)
• Turn your back to the bar
• Throw a coin over your shoulder
• Fill the tankard to the top with whatever bottle you hit

Notes

A drink invented by conscript soldiers fighting in bush wars in southern Africa. The drink was intended to help them forget the horrors of these pointless conflicts. In fact, this is only surmised: all that they could remember was how to make this drink².

The Gorilla Fart

Ingredients

• 1 part EverClear
• 1 part 151
• 1 part Jägermeister

Method

• Mix well
• Close your eyes
• Quickly down the mixture and grimace

Notes

• This concoction will stick it to your kidneys in a most righteous and profound fashion.

Green Guinness

Ingredients

• Creme de Menthe
• Guinness

Method

• Put Creme de Menthe in the bottom of a pint glass, to taste and tolerance
• Slowly fill up glass with Guinness

Notes

• The resulting concoction appears like ordinary Guinness except with a green head.
• The taste may best be described as acquired.

Green With Envy

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup canned frozen lemonade mix
• Lots of Midori
• 7up or any other lemon-lime soda

Method

• Blend in mixer, then pour about half a glass (the bigger the better) and add lemon-lime soda till you get the consistency you want.
• Drink until you no longer need a babel fish to understand any language in the known universe.

Headless Mexican

Ingredients

• 1 bottle of Corona beer
• Kahlua
• Tequila

Method

• Drink enough of the beer to empty the neck of the bottle
• Top up bottle with equal parts Kahlua and Tequila
• Very carefully place thumb over bottle-opening and slowly invert bottle to mix

Notes

• Any bottled beer in a long neck bottle will work, but Corona is best.
• Suggested dose: no more than 20 in a night.

The Indian Feny Surprise

Ingredients

• 20ml vodka
• 30ml gin
• 40ml coconut feny (a local Indian drink)
• Blue food dye
• Lemon juice
• 7up

Method

• Take a 250ml glass and mix in the spirits, food dye and lemon juice
• Top up the glass with 7up

Notes

• The lemonade and the lemon juice are very important; with them you can't smell the alcohol.

The Kangaroo

Ingredients

• 1 Snowball
• 1 shot of Vodka
• 1 shot of Blackcurrant
• Lager
• Cider

Notes

• It's a glorious pink colour.
• Serve in a pint measure with a straw.
• It sounds disgusting but tastes like milkshake!

Knockout Juice

Ingredients

• 1 shot Jack Daniels
• 1 shot Southern Comfort
• 1 shot Tequila
• 1 shot White & Mackay
• Lemonade
• Lime to taste

Notes

• Makes 1/2 a pint.
• A very special cocktail for use when you need to go from vertical to horizontal with the least amount of fuss.
• MMMmmmmm alcohol... The cause of - and solution to - all life's problems.

Alcoholic Komboucha

Ingredients

• 1/2 pint of really bitter and well-brewed Komboucha (with black scary bits as substance)
• 1/4 pint of grapefruit juice
• 1/4 pint of pure alcohol

Method

• Mix very gently so as not to break-up the black scary bits and leave in the fridge for a week
• Drink on a cold day

The Leveller

Ingredients

• Double measure vodka
• Double measure Blue Bols
• Double measure Cinzano
• Coconut milk to taste (optional)
• Feel free to add other flavours, but for the truly stupid, a single (I cannot stress this enough) single measure of absinthe really gives the desired kick.

Method

• Mix all three spirits in a single tumbler, giving it a stir to ensure the mix
• Add the coconut milk to taste to take the edge off the poison
• Drop in the absinthe, if you decide to include it
• You should have a sort of blue, green, greyish mixture: drink

Notes

• Preparation time sober: 2 minutes.
• Preparation time drunk: 2 hours.
• Despite its revolting appearance, the taste is quite sublime, for about 10 minutes. After that you'll be absolutely plastered, unable to stand or to stop laughing and generally wasted, but in a fantastically good way.
• Never attempt more than three in one night, and never order one at a bar because the cost equates to size of the hangover... in other words, massive.

Lobotomy

Ingredients

• Pineapple juice
• Chambord
• Champagne
• Amaretto

Method

• Shake equal parts of pineapple juice, Chambord, champagne and Amaretto in some ice
• Strain into a shot glass
• Top up with more champagne

Notes

• Wilbur! Pass the hacksaw! It's all gotta come out!

Long Island Iced Tea

Ingredients

• 2 measures vodka
• 2 measures triple sec
• 2 measures white rum
• 2 measures dark rum
• 2 measures tequila
• Lemon and lime mixer, such as 7up
• A dash of Coke
• Ice

Method

• Mix the spirits with lots of ice
• Top up the glass with the lemon and lime mixer
• Add a dash of coke for colour

Notes

• This is the recipe for Long Island Iced Tea as prepared at J Augusts Bar, New Brunswick, New Jersey, USA. See the conversation below for variations on the theme.

Lunch Drink

Ingredients

• 1 part leftover cheap red wine (preferably Rioja, but any old wine will do)
• 1 part cold Sprite
• Ice

Method

• Always pour the wine, and then add the Sprite

Notes

• This is an old family recipe, so if you're an old family, enjoy...

Madras

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 oz vodka
• 3/4 oz cranberry juice
• 3/4 oz orange juice
• A slice of lime
• 1 very talented bartender

Notes

• The Madras is such a complicated and unique drink it has its own page dedicated to it. Enjoy!

Manhattan

Ingredients

• Two parts whiskey
• One part sweet vermouth
• Grenadine
• A dash of bitters
• One cherry

Method

• Mix the whiskey and vermouth
• Add a little grenadine and a dash of bitters
• Put into a glass with cracked ice and shake or stir to your taste
• Strain into a martini glass, and add a cherry

Notes

• You can do without the bitters if you want, but if you screw this up (and bartenders do this far to often) you can use the bitters to cover your mistakes.
• A friend of mine, who is really into the lounge scene, likes all whiskey, only using enough vermouth to rinse the glass with.
• Some people swear that you should use bourbon instead of whiskey. And why not?

The Maypole Martini

Ingredients

• 1 measure dry vermouth (not extra dry)
• 1 measure vodka
• 1 thin slice of lemon peel

Method

• First fill a cocktail glass with ice.
• Take one measure each of dry vermouth (not extra dry) and vodka. Mr Bond had it right regarding the relative merits of shaking and stirring vodka martini cocktails, so pour both measures into a cocktail shaker and shake vigorously for ten to twenty seconds.
• Remove the ice from the glass, and empty the contents of the shaker into it.
• Place a thin slice of lemon peel on top; the thinner the better, since the ideal effect is for it to float. No umbrellas, please.
• Drink immediately, and suavely. The perfect mix ought to seem to evaporate a bit in your mouth.

Notes

• The vodka should be Smirnoff, or better still, Stolichnaya. Most of the readily available vodkas in shops aren't especially good - they have a taste. A good vodka has a feel rather than a taste.

Mexican Flag

Ingredients

• 1 shot of Grenadine
• 1 shot of white tequila
• 1 shot of Creme de Menthe

Method

• Layer the shots in the order of the Mexican flag

Notes

• If you can't remember the order of the colours of the Mexican flag, either consult your bottle of tequila, or experiment until it looks right to you.

Mind Eraser

Ingredients

• 1 measure of Kahlua
• 1 measure of vodka
• Soda water

Method

• Stick a measure each of Kahlua and vodka in a shot glass
• Add a splash of soda
• Bung in a straw

Notes

• Bwa ha ha ha haaaaa!

Modigliani

Ingredients

• Grenadine
• Jack Daniels
• Ice
• 1 maraschino cherry

Method

• Chill a Martini glass and fill it with Jack Daniels
• Add the maraschino cherry
• Dribble Grenadine around the edge of the glass and drink

Notes

• Introduced in the late 1990s by an artist named Sarah Gay, this drink is apparently a tribute to some Modigliani painter fellow.
• You can add more or less Grenadine as your taste prefers.

The Monkey F***

Ingredients

• One pint of good Lager
• One double shot of whiskey
• One shot of dry white wine

Method

• Take one nice full pint of good Lager, and drink about an inch or so's worth. Next add to the pint a double whiskey and dry white wine and drink carefully.

Notes

You won't remember anything past your third one of these little blighters!

Moscow Mule (or Russian Mule)

Ingredients

• 1 measure vodka
• Ginger ale
• Fresh lime juice

Method

• Take the vodka, top up with ginger ale and add fresh lime juice. Fantastic!

Negroni

Ingredients

• 1 measure of gin
• 1 measure of Campari
• 1 measure of red Martini

Method

• Mix
• Garnish with a slice of orange

Notes

• A classic Italian aperitivo, guaranteed to put anyone in a breezy mood before lunchtime.

No Panic

Ingredients

• One shot of vodka, rum, gin, tequila and sambuca
• A third of a glass of Lemonade
• A shot of Blue Curaçao
• Half a shot of red Grenadine
• Two or three drops of Baileys (to improve the taste when you put it on your mouth)

Method

• Add all the above ingredients to a glass in the above order - do not mix.
• Drink carefully.

Nuclear Fantasy

Ingredients

• Vodka
• Archer's peach schnapps
• Lime

Method

• Go to Spoofers in Gloucester, England
• Order one at the bar
• Settle back and drink

Notes

• I have only ever managed two of them, but they can be bought cheaper in sets of 4... so take a friend!

Purple People Eater

Ingredients

• 1/2 glass vodka
• A dash of cherry brandy
• A dash of curaçao
• Lemonade

Method

• Half fill the glass of your choice (preferably a large one) with vodka
• Add a dash of cherry brandy
• Add a dash of curaçao
• Top up with lemonade

Notes

• Once you've had about half of one, that purple colour will look so pretty...

Ram Raider

Ingredients

• 1 part Jack Daniels
• 1 part Baileys
• 1 part Amaretto
• 1 part Jägermeister

Method

• Mix ingredients
• Drink through a straw, quickly...

Notes

• I usually find that the first unsettles the stomach, especially if drunk after a couple of pints of lager. However, follow it quickly by another and everything will be back to normal again.
• Three or four of these will be enough to see you waking up on the kerb, wondering why you're only a couple of feet from your front door.

Raspberry Eglantine

Ingredients

• Fresh (the fresher the better) raspberries
• Framboise (or vodka will do)
• Champagne or anything sparkly (though not lager)

Method

• Gently crush the raspberries (or roughly if that is your thing) and fill a large, chilled champagne flute up to about a third full
• Add a little bit of Framboise (or vodka) - not too much, just to enhance the flavour of the fruit
• Fill the rest of the glass up with champagne

Notes

• Lip smackingly good I promise.

Red Devil

Ingredients

• 1 pint of lager (Preferably Fosters)
• 1 Pernod and blackcurrant

Method

• Drink enough from the pint of lager to make room for the Pernod and blackcurrant
• Pour the Pernod and blackcurrant into the lager
• Drink. Slowly.

Notes

• You can optionally substitute a cider/lager mix for the lager.
• I tend to find that the drunkenness creeps up on you, then suddenly just poleaxes you out of nowhere. Before you know it you're talking rubbish and walking funny.

Red Bull variations

Ingredients

• 1 double vodka or Jack Daniels
• 1 can Red Bull
• Ice

Method

• Pour Red Bull over spirit and ice

Notes

• If you like this, you might also like the TVR.
• Red Bull and vodka gives you wings.
• Red Bull and Jack Daniels gives you solid rocket boosters.
• A mix of 1/2 champagne, 1/4 red Bull and 1/4 vodka provides an interesting angle on the whole Red Bull flying experience.

Red Devil 2

Ingredients

• Four shots of vodka
• One bottle of red (any red alcoholic drink will do, e.g. Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, etc.)
• Some form of energy drink (e.g. Red Bull etc.)

Method

Simply Add the four shots to a pint glass, Pour in the red and top up with the energy drink.

Warning: this drink promotes memory loss, and costs quite a bit too.

Sake Martini

Ingredients

• 1/4 sake (rice wine)
• 3/4 vodka
• Cucumber wedge, curl or other shaped piece

Method

• Set up as a normal Martini, iced glass and all
• After icing, prepare glass by taking a cucumber wedge and wiping it around the rim of the glass and dropping it in
• Pour in the mix and drink away

Notes

• The sake cuts the vodka burn which makes for an amazingly mild-tasting yet terribly strong drink.
• The better the quality of the ingredients, the better the drink.

Sandals Sundowner

Ingredients

• 1 banana
• 2-4 cups orange juice
• 1/4 can Coco Lopez
• 1/4 can lime juice
• Some (or much) Malibu, or other coconut-flavoured rum
• Ice

Method

• Place all ingredients in blender and fill with ice
• Blend
• Drink
• Enjoy

Notes

• Also good non-alcoholically, but that is a recipe for another page

Sea Breeze

Ingredients

• Vodka
• Cranberry juice
• Splash of grapefruit juice

Method

• Take a chilled tall glass and add vodka to taste, over ice
• Top up with cranberry juice
• Top with a splash of grapefruit juice and enjoy

Notes

• A most excellent long and cool drink that is exceedingly dry.

Shandy

Ingredients

• 1/2 pint lager
• 1/2 pint lemonade

Method

• Put the lemonade into a pint glass
• Carefully add the lager

Notes

• Note that, in this recipe, we mean fizzy lemonade, not the flat lemon juice, water and sugar concoction that is American lemonade.
• If you add the lemonade to the lager, it'll take forever to settle, so don't do it unless this is your desired effect.
• There are several other versions based upon the flavour of the soda added.

Silver Bullet

Ingredients

• 1/2 tequila
• 1/2 white Sambuca

Method

• Mix and down in one

Notes

• Make in appropriate quantities for your party needs.
• Best drunk as a shooter rather than sipped & savoured.

Silver Hammer

Ingredients

• 1 Martini glass
• 1 bottle Sambuca liqueur
• 1 bottle white gin
• 1 slice of lemon

Method

• Fill the glass mostly with Sambuca, then pour in a small amount of the gin (just enough to colour the mixture).
• Follow with a slice of lemon.
• Lather, rinse, repeat.

Notes

• Thank Maxwell for this one.

Slippery Nipple

Ingredients

• 1 shot of Sambuca
• 1 shot of Baileys

Method

• Using a small double-shot sized glass, put in a shot of Sambuca
• Carefully pour on top a shot of Baileys so that it floats on top - they don't mix together

Notes

• The name will give a clue as to what it looks like.

Snakebite

Ingredients

• 1/2 pint of lager
• 1/2 pint of cider

Method

• Mix and drink

Notes

• Add blackcurrant cordial to make it drinkable; this is known as a 'Snakebite and Black' or a 'Diesel'.
• Add one shot of Pernod to a Diesel to make a 'Pernod Diesel'.
• Add one shot of vodka to a Pernod Diesel to make a 'Purple Nasty'.
• Add three shots of vodka to a Pernod Diesel to make a 'Screaming Purple Bastard'. This is worringly descriptive of the result of drinking one.

Spitfire

Ingredients

• Tequila
• Tabasco
• Sambuca

Method

• Take a shot glass
• Fill it halfway with Tequila and the rest with Tabasco
• Leave approximately 1mm at the top for sambuca, which you light before drinking

Notes

• This is yet another drink named after the effect it has.

Strip 'n' Go Naked

Ingredients

• 6 cans beer
• Half a fifth bottle of lime-flavoured vodka
• One can of frozen lemonade

Method

• Into a large pitcher pour the beer, the lime-flavoured vodka and the frozen lemonade
• Mix until the lemonade has melted and blended with the rest

Notes

• Great for a warm summer night.
• Not very practical unless you have company to help drain the pitcher. A whole pitcher might be a bit excessive for just one person...

Telephone Numbers

Method

Numbering the bottles along the back of the bar from zero to nine, fill a glass with one shot from each, as dictated by your phone number. For the strong of constitution, include the STD³ code. For the suicidal, include the international access code.

Tequila Omelettes

Ingredients

• 1 egg
• 1 large shot of tequila

Method

• Place the unbroken egg in your mouth
• Crack the egg in your mouth and down the egg contents accompanied by a very large shot of tequila
• Resist gagging the whole lot up
• Spit out egg shell into glass
• Receive applause from rather large crowd (this is because you are, of course, at a very important dinner with colleagues and clients)

Notes

• A variation on this theme is the 'Cement Mixer'. In this you hold a shot of Baileys in the mouth, add a large dash of lime juice and mix throughly in the mouth Then swallow... or should that be chew?

Tom Collins

Ingredients

• 2oz Gin (dry is preferred)
• 1oz Lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon Sugar
• 3oz Club soda

Method

• Mix gin, lemon juice and sugar with ice in a shaker. Shake well.

• Strain into a Collins glass nearly filled with ice.

• Add club soda. Garnish with a lime slice or wedge⁴.

Caveat

Unless you are royalty, your Tom Collins will never be made like this. Nobody makes a Collins from scratch. A Collins mix - which is basically club soda, lemon juice, and sugar - is generally sprayed from the fountain hose behind the bar. Americans can purchase it by the 2-litre plastic bottle in any decent-sized market.

Few bars have actual Collins glasses, which are generally speaking larger than a highball glass and often have a frosted texture. In bars, you will find a true Collins glass about as frequently as you will find a beautiful barmaid who digs drunk loudmouths. Most serve the Tom Collins in a highball glass.

Notes

The Tom Collins is widely popular and is best enjoyed as a sipping drink, to be savoured rather than guzzled, and is not for the sole purpose of getting drunk. Its popularity has generated both the glass in which it is served and a vast family of Collins-style drinks. There's so much to say about the Tom Collins that it has an entry all to itself.

Trough of Love

Ingredients

• Hot chocolate
• Whipped cream
• Whatever lives in your drinks cabinet

Method

• First cook up a big pan of your favourite hot chocolate
• Take the biggest coffee cup you have in your house (the closer you can get to a big soup bowl with a handle the better), and ladle out enough cocoa to fill it between half and two-thirds full
• Then raid your drinks cabinet and start adding anything that goes well in hot chocolate (see note below)
• Just keep mixing and adding until you get the taste you're looking for, top with whipped cream and drink up

Notes

• I usually start with a shot of dark rum, a splash of Creme de Menthe or peppermint schnapps for flavour, and a little Kahlua and/or Baileys. Other ingredients could include other schnapps flavors, Southern Comfort, brandy, and vodka. Use your imagination. You know what you like, and if you think it'd taste good in hot chocolate, throw some in. You have to make sure you taste it as you mix.
• Great for winter parties or just cozying up to a fire with your significant other.

The Turquoise Blue

Ingredients

• 1 shot of tequila
• 1 shot of rum
• 1 shot of Blue Curaçao
• Sweet pineapple juice
• Sour pineapple juice

Method

• Mix ingredients
• Served over ice in a 12oz tumbler.

Notes

• Fabulous!

TVR

Ingredients

• 1 measure of vodka (Vladivar Gold or Smirnoff Blue come highly recommended)
• 1 measure of tequila (Jose Cuervo Gold if finances permit)
• 1 can of Red Bull

Method

• Mix and drink, over ice

Notes

• For added effect try the TTVVR (work it out).

Vanilla Surprise

Ingredients

• 1 pint of Guinness Extra Cold or Murphys
• 1 Tia Maria, vodka and Coke

Method

• Combine and stir

Notes

• This is a drink from Swansea, South Wales.
• Tastes like Vanilla Ice cream.
• Hits like a 25-stone bloke with a cricket bat.

Vodkat'ila

Ingredients

• 1 measure of vodka
• 1 measure of tequila

Method

• Mix
• Drink
• Gag

Notes

• If you have the (albeit limited) patience necessary to mix one of these, you aren't drunk enough to drink it.
• The vodka should preferably be a cheap brand with a phoney Russian name that includes the word 'imperial' in it.
• The tequila should preferably be a cheap brand with a phoney Mexican name.
• It is important that this cocktail is drunk quickly, preferably without the drink touching the tastebuds, oesophagus, stomach or small intestine. In fact, the best way to experience a Vodkat'ila is to force one on a friend and retire to a safe distance.
• Rarely drunk by ladies.... or gentlemen.

Whisky Mix

Ingredients

• 1 good measure of whisky (scotch), the cheaper the better
• A splash of ginger wine (preferably Crabbies)
• Dry ginger ale

Method

• Add the ginger wine to the scotch
• Top up with dry ginger ale

Notes

• Don't drink it too fast.

White Russian

Ingredients

• 2 oz vodka
• 1 oz Kahlua
• Light cream

Method

• Mix ingredients in a high ball over ice

Zombie Punch

Ingredients

• 2 × 750ml bottles of gold Puerto Rican rum
• 1 × 750ml bottle of dark rum
• 1 pint 151-proof rum
• 1 pint of the following: triple sec, lime juice, orange juice, and lemon juice

Method

• Mix well and enjoy

Notes

• Fun for parties.
• It is not recommended that you smoke while drinking this one.