Acting as a companion to the entry 'Knightmare' - the Kids' TV Show, this entry focuses on the main characters of this classic role-playing television series.
Treguard - played by Hugo Myatt
- Treguard, on seeing a Dungeoneer get into a spot of bother
As the only person to have conquered the Dungeon single-handedly, Treguard was the ultimate Dungeonmaster. He and his assistants resided in an antechamber that was the entrance to the Dungeon which also contained a magic mirror which provided a view into the many rooms and corridors within its labyrinthine walls. This allowed the rest of the team-members to see what was going on through the Eyeshield of the dungeoneer's helmet and guide accordingly. He would occasionally drop a hint to the team-members, as, being the sole Dungeonmaster, he knew all the secrets and perils of the Dungeon. Well, most of the secrets and perils...
Treguard's arch-enemy was the intimidating Lord Fear. After the team-members had seen Fear through the spyglass, Treguard always came up with a sarcastically witty line to lighten the moment, especially if Fear had been ranting and raving over some pointless thing or other.
Treguard was the only character to stay on for the entire eight series.
Pickle - played by David Learner
Pickle:What about the watchers, master?
Treguard:Don't stare at them Pickle... in fact, why not; perhaps they'd know how we feel.
Pickle1 was an elf, but nothing like the elves of Tolkein's Middle Earth, instead bearing more than a passing resemblance to Peter Pan. He was Treguard's first instalment of assistants, arriving in Series Four. An eager character, always willing to give a helping hint here and there, as far as Treguard would let him. His advice was not particularly practical or useful for that matter.
Pickle stayed until the end of Series Six where he was replaced by the dippy Majida.
Majida - played by Jackie Sawris
Treguard:Well, I can predict one thing for certain. If you don't step back when the path closes, the door's going to take your nose off.
Majida: What's wrong with my nose?
Majida was a female genie who had the dress sense of Princess Jasmine from Disney's Aladdin. She tended to annoy Treguard on regular occasions with her stupidity and over-bubbliness, and often annoyed the viewing public as well. She was less helpful than her predecessor and was really only a side-act to the show.
Smirkenorff the Dragon - voiced by Clifford Norgate
(yawn) If you've come for a ride, you must have the fare.
- Smirkenorff after being woken up
A gigantic green dragon2, with elegant wings and a tendency to sleep all the time, arrived in Series Six. Smirkenorff was a very well-mannered, mythological, reptilian beast and always willing to aid an ailing Dungeoneer, when he wasn't hungry. He had a posh, well-bred accent and was very friendly. The Dragon helped Dungeoneers by letting them sit on his back as he flew them between levels over The Great Rift of Angar, in exchange for a firestone or a selection of dragon mints. Occasionally Smirkenorff didn't ask for a fare, mainly when be took a liking to the Dungeoneer. Smirkenorff didn't approve of his kindred hunting Dungeoneers, but they were all protected by Romahna the Dragon Rider.
Lord Fear - played by Mark Knight
Now, I hate to gloat... what am I saying? I love to gloat - What a little fibber I am! Now, you haven't eaten for a while so I'm just going to sit here and watch you slowly die whilst I gloat a bit.
- Lord Fear inviting a Dungeoneer to grovel for mercy
He's just your typical evil overlord. Before Series Five, there was no long-term evil person. However, living very comfortably in his stronghold in the more obscure and dangerous regions of the Dungeon there was Lord Fear. His stronghold moved around each series, originally situated on Mount Fear, but then moving to The Black Tower of Goth in Series Seven and finally to Marblehead Fortress in Series Eight. It seemed that just like the average homebuyer, for the headquarters of evil all-powerful mages, it's all location, location, location.
Grey-faced, grim but very sardonic with studio lighting illuminating him from below, presumably to add to the whole 'fearsome' look. Lord Fear made everybody, well, fearful of him. A techno-sorcerer, he was always on the hunt for new gadgets and gizmos to increase his power in the dungeon world. However, despite his obviously dangerous magical power combined with his technological supremacy he didn't do all his evil deeds by himself. With an arch-enemy as formidable as Treguard (even if all Treguard did was sit in a room and add the odd tart one-liner here and there) he needed his own horde of followers. Fear tended to have a problem with spyglasses that could be used to spy on him, but countered this by creating magical fireballs to hurl at the onlookers if they spied on him for too long. Fear could spy on other characters by using the Pool of Veracity, which always told scryers the truth.
Many of Fear's allies always had a soft spot for gold or silver. Skarkill the Goblinmaster, and Raptor the Master of the Miremen, would conveniently drop their allegiance to Lord Fear when offered gold or such other valuable items. On the other hand the scaly Lissard would probably die for his master before accepting such pathetic financial bribes.
Lissard - played by Cliff Barry
Lissard was a scaly creature who worked for Lord Fear, arriving in Series Seven. He was completely loyal to Lord Fear, this was a very rare attribute in the dungeon. He was an astute trickster and master of disguise, pretending to be Brother Strange in one quest to trick the dungeoneer and Marta the serving maid to trick Hordriss. Lissard helped Lord Fear to set up the traps and referred to the dungeoneers as the 'kidsies'. Unlike Treguard's assistants, of whom banter was occasionally annoying, the banter between the Gollum-like creature and the Leader of The Opposition never ceased to be entertaining, such as this exchange from Series Eight between Lissard and Lord Fear while on the move to the more upmarket 'Marblehead Fortress'...
Lissard: But Lordnesss... it's magnificent! It's... greatnesss! Lord Fear: Yes... it's quite a neat little pad; it's not over-pretentious, but entirely in keeping with one's circumstances. I like the view... I really do like looking down on everyone else. Comes naturally you know... Lissard: But Lordnesss - the Pool of Veracity? Itsss gone! Lord Fear: Oh that old thing - don't worry about that; it was as old as the trolls and nearly as useless... I've got one of these thingummy-whatsitsnames... Eat your eyes out Lissard, my old newt!
(a large and impressive video wall appears)
Lissard: Wildnesss! Lord Fear: Yeah... 16 million colours, stereo sound, auto scan and remote surf across Levels One, Two and Three. Lissard: Isss there no end to your brilliantnesss, Lordnesss? Lord Fear: Not in this lifetime, me old toad. For this little beauty's got one extra refinement. Automatic spyglass detection... and automatic counter measures. Lissard: But I don't understand, Lordnesss... Lord Fear: It means that if they get cocky with the spyglass, then my defences will automatically blatt them with an 18 megawatt fireball if they hold on to it for too long. Lissard: (giggling)But how long, Lordnesss? Lord Fear: Ooooh, about this long...
(an equally large and impressive fireball approaches the viewer...)
There are also numerous other characters which inhabited the lower levels of the dungeon, but to describe them all would make this entry even longer. So here instead is a list divided into pre- and post-Series Five, accommodating Knightmare's new cast from there on in.
The Early Characters
- Bumptious the Miner
- Folly the Jester
- Gretel the Maid
- Oracle of Confusion
- Cedric the Mad Monk
- Merlin the Wizard
- Mildread the Witch
- Olaf the Viking
- Gumboil the Guard
- The Troll
- Casper the Talking Key
- McGrew the Guard
- Mellisandre the Dungeon Maid
- Mrs Grimwold and Festus the Dog
- Fatilla the Guard
- The Ogre
- Gundrada the Swordmistress
- The Boatman
- Mistress Goody
Series Five Onwards:
The Powers That Be
- Brother Mace
- Motley the Jester
- Gwendoline the Greenwarden
- Sir Hugh de Witless
- Hordriss the Confuser
- Sidriss the Sorceress
- Oakley - A Talking Oak Tree
- Pixel the Pixie
- Ridolfo the Troubadour
- Ah Wok the Oriental Trader
- Rothberry the Apothecary
- Fidjit - Thief Extraordinaire and Lock Master
- Grimaldine the Wizard
- Marta the Serving Maid
- Romahna the Dragon Rider
- Brother Strange
- Stiletta - Third Level Thief
- Skarkill the Goblinmaster
- Julius Scaramonger
- Elita the Cavern Elf
- Sylvester 'Sly' Hands
- Queen 'Old Icy Knickers'3 Aesandre of Winteria
- Captain Nemanor
- Heggatty and Peggatty the Witches
- The Dreadnought
- Raptor, Master of the Miremen
- The Brollachan - A Cornish Shape-Shifting wall-monster
- Snapper Jack, the Fool-Taker
- Honesty Bartram
- Maldame, Sorceress of Linghorn
The Minions of The Opposition
Lord Fear was at the top of The Opposition's hierarchy. Anything below him were his underlings; such as Lissard, Skarkill, and Raptor. Other Opposition members, such as Queen Aesandre and Elita the Cavern Elf were indirectly involved in the hierarchy. However, the lowest of the low were usually the ones sent out to kill or capture a Dungeoneer (although they usually failed).
These were the five main groups of Lord Fear's minions.
These were mobile skeletons that wielded sharp longswords in their bony hands. They would usually be guarding a path or corridor and could only be killed by magic. Sidriss would sometimes give a magical ring to Dungeoneers that when pointed at a Skeletron, would make them disintegrate.
It is unknown how a Skeletron managed to stay together and move without any ligaments connecting the bones, but as Lord Fear was an all-powerful techno-sorcerer, he probably found a way around this.
Miremen were fish-headed soldiers commanded by the Master of the Miremen, Raptor. They usually came when a Dungeoneer had been in a room for too long. The Miremen could survive underwater as well as in subterranean rooms with water in them. They would rise out of the water and wade towards the Dungeoneer.
The general rule for seeing a Mireman is to get to the exit. A nice andante speed is fine, however. Miremen seemed to find walking problematic and tended to walk incredibly slowly.
If you remained in a room for too long, these could also turn up. They would announce their arrival by sounding quite distinctive horns. Then you'd watch the team panic as they tried to get their hapless Dungeoneer out of the room as quickly as they could.
Goblins were hunched over, dressed in brown and quite often carrying some weapon or sounding a horn. As his title suggests, the goblins were under the command of Skarkill the Goblinmaster.
The garrison of Lord Fear and another sign of his techno-sorcery, the Frightknights are really best described as a mindless yet technologically advanced droid army with some seriously evil magic woven into the circuitry. The sign of a Frightknight appearing above the only exit of a room was a clear sign that the next room was something quite unpleasant. Nine times out of ten it was the infamous Corridor of Blades.
These were green, snot-like and generally disagreeable. They would appear if the Dungeoneer lingered in a room for too long.
Stuck In The Middle
With no allegiance to either The Opposition or The Powers that Be, these are characters that can't really be classified as good or evil. They are more ambivalent if you will.
- The Gatemaster
- Greystagg, Queen of the Grey Sisters
In all cases, the acting was deliciously over-the-top, yet suitably so.