The h2g2 Poem: The Triffids…er, Dandelions

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Create challenges us to celebrate May. Bah. In May, the duties of a small-town dweller merely change from shoveling snow to hacking up weeds. I am supposed to have farmer genes – generations of Gheorghenis followed this calling – but I lack them almost completely. My usual reaction to the state of the lawn is, 'Oh, goody, lots of clover. The bunny who lives under the tree will enjoy this.' This curmudgeonly poem is dedicated, with apologies to Mr William Wordsworth, to all you frustrated gardeners out there.

The Triffids…er, Dandelions1

A daffodil
I stepped with purpose, like a guy
Who's been around, armed with my hoe,
The daffodils I did espy
In glorious bloom, all in a row
Beside the house, all in their beds,
Breezily shaking their gorgeous heads.
Continuing my gaze, I thought
How good the scene, how great the day,
When to my anguished eyes was brought
A sight that filled me with dismay:
A thousand dandelions preened
Across the verdant lawn they greened2.
Wild blooms beside them danced, but they
Outdid them all as ninja flowers,
From sidewalk cracks they seemed to say,
'You're going to lose, the yard is ours!'
I hefted hoe, but little thought
What fate the garden show had wrought.
For now, when on my couch I lie,
Nursing my sprained and aching back,
They flash upon the inward eye
That registers the sense I lack.
And mock the gardener who will
Part dandelion from daffodil.
A 'dandelion clock' - a dying dandelion with all the fluffy seeds about to be blown away.

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Dmitri Gheorgheni

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1I swear I heard one of them say, 'Call me Audrey'.2And yellowed, but that doesn't rhyme. I can't be a good poet all the time.

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