A Letter to Santa
Created | Updated Dec 18, 2002
Dear Santa,
Me hopes this letter finds you well and rested, and that you will not forget to deliver my presents this year. Last years presents went down a treat at the Lair, Uncle Silas was so proud of the toupee you gave him, unfortunately it was stolen; the police are still looking, and they are combing the area as we speak. He asked me if he could have a hamster for Christmas this year, me told him he will have to have turkey like everybody else!!!
Talking of turkey, me remembers last years was rather poultry, it tasted like an old cushion. Aunt Rosie was a little upset as she had taken great care in preparing it, she said, 'Well, you asked for something with lots of stuffing.'. Aunt Rosie is a wonderful person though, and usually a great cook. On Boxing Day she made 'Greebo stew', me asked her how she made it, and she told me, 'I'll tell you tomorrow!'. Good old Auntie!!! Last year she was given a pet rat, she loved it so much that she took it to bed with her, me said, but what about the smell? She replied, 'He'll just have to get used to it!'
Oh, before me forgets is it true that one time when climbing down a chimney you lost your underpants and that is the reason you are sometimes called Saint Nicolas? My nephew Grushty told me that, but me doesn't know if me should believe him or not. He's asked for an
unbeatable present this year, so could you give him a broken drum please, it will really make his day!!!
Me hopes you got the card from my littlest niece Blossom, she can't spell very well, me noticed she had written, 'Happy Noe' on it. Me told her that Noel was not spelt like that, she replied, 'It is right, see I put no ~L~'. How could me argue with that? Blossom has asked for a wombat for Christmas, I said, why do you want a wombat for, she replied, 'To play Wom of course'. She's an odd girl that one, but don't hold it against her.
Papa didn't much like his present last year, he'd asked for a jumper to match his eyes, he didn't know you could actually get a colour called bloodshot. Mama laughed so much until she opened her present, she had asked for something with diamonds, and she received a pack of
playing cards. Maybe you could do better this year, not that me is complaining, but they didn't cheer up until they took young Grushty to the Pantomime to see Cinderella. They loved the singing, particularly when the local chemist lost Cinders photo's and she sang 'Some day my
prints will come.' They were glad they went to see that pantomime and not the other one that was playing about a young girl who kept shouting naughty words at a large dog like creature, me thinks it was called, Little Rude Riding Hood!!!
Well that's about it for this letter, me knows you are very busy at this time of year so will let you go off and supervise a bit of present wrapping. Say hello to all the reindeers, and tell Rudolph to stop practising his emergency stops in the sleigh, that's why all the others deer's have brown noses and not red ones!!!
Lots of huggles and love,
P.S. Don't forget the doughnuts!!!
