The Rustler
Created | Updated Aug 21, 2003
One time, Uncle Ned was out rounding up cattle for Mr. Randall. He'd been at it most of the morning, when he spied a boy driving off some calves.
Now, Uncle Ned figured a couple of things. First, he figured that boy was a rustler. Second, he figured he'd capture that boy and collect a reward from Mr. Randall. In fact, he was already figuring how he was going to spend that money as he chased after the boy and the calves.
By and by, Uncle Ned caught up with the boy and told him to get down off his pony and not try nothing funny. You see, Uncle Ned had a pistol that he carried stuck in his belt, an old pistol that had been handed down for a couple of generations. Uncle Ned shot that pistol every once in awhile and occasionally hit what he was shooting at too.
So that boy was scared. And Uncle Ned wasn't about to unscare him. He waved that pistol around and ordered that boy to remount and drive those calves back to Mr. Randall's corral. And that's what that boy did too.
After the boy closed the gate on the corral, Uncle Ned ordered him to dismount again.
"We're going up to the house," said Uncle Ned gravely as he pointed with his lips. "Now, you been real cooperative so don't ruin it for yourself now."
The boy said nothing. He just walked up to the house, a little shakey in the knees. Uncle Ned followed and opened the screen door.
"Go on in and make it snappy!" he said.
Mr. Randall was working at his desk in the front room.
"Howdy, Mr. Randall," Uncle Ned said.
"Howdy, Ned, what can I do for you?" asked the rancher.
"Well, uh, well, I, uh, well we been out rounding up strays, you know?"
"Yes, I do know since that's what I told you to do this morning."
"Ah, yep, well, uh.... I uh... "
"Oh, come on, Ned! Spit it out!"
"Well we got powerful thirsty and was wondering if you wouldn't mind advancing us a little scratch for a cold beer?"
"What?!"
"What I mean is, we just need something to take the edge off, what do you think?"
"I think you better get back to work, Ned. Now I'm busy and come lunchtime maybe we'll all just pop a few cold ones if you can get the lead out long enough."
"Oh, yessir, Mr. Randall. In fact we got a bunch a calves in the corral already."
"Oh do you now?" asked the rancher incredulously.
He walked over to the door squinted.
"Damned if you don't. Well in that case y'all take a break then with my complements. There's beer in the fridge."
Well, Uncle Ned and the boy went into the kitchen and got a couple of beers out of the fridge and walked back out on the porch.
"Seems like I had something else I was supposed to tell him," said Uncle Ned. "I wonder what it was?"
"I don't remember either," said the boy. His voice kind of quivered a little bit and he was swallowing hard.
"Wait a minute! Wait just a gall darn minute!" exclaimed Uncle Ned. "I was running you in for rustling. That's it."
So Uncle Ned grabbed the boy by the hair and hauled him back into the house.
"You forget something?" asked the rancher.
"Yeah, I, uh. Well now, what was it?"
"I don't see how I could say, Ned."
"Uh, gosh, Mr. Randall, I just remembered we never said 'thank you' so I reckon I'm saying it now. Thank you for the beers."
"Don't mention it, Ned. I'm always happy to reward diligence. By the way, I don't recall seeing that boy around here before. He one of your nephews, Ned?"
"Uh, well, yeah, he's Aunt Johnny's boy. Ain't that right, boy?"
"Yessir," said the boy as he stared at the floor.
"Well, Ned, it's always good to break them in right, don't you think?"
"Yessir, I reckon so," answered Uncle Ned. "We'll be going now and thanks again."
"You're welcome, Ned. See you at dinner."
After he and the boy returned to the porch, Uncle Ned began to ponder. And he pondered and he pondered and then he pondered some more, scratching his ear and staring at the corral and then the house and then squinting at the sky. By and by, something seemed to dawn on him.
"I'm being witched!" he exclaimed. "I'll be damned, and I know just who's doing too."
"Who?" asked the boy.
"None of your business, that's who. What's your name anyways?"
"Don't you remember? I'm Delbert, Aunt Johnny's boy. You used to come around when we was haying."
"Oh yeah, I remember now. You've grown some since then."
"Yessir, can I, uh, go home now."
"Nope," said Ned emphatically. "We're going for a little ride up in them mountains, and don't you try nothing funny, you hear?"
"Yessir, I hear," said Delbert, apparently resigned to his fate, whatever it might be.
A couple of hours later, Uncle Ned and Delbert reined up next to a little cave hidden in a stand of pinyons. Uncle Ned ordered Delbert to dismount and followed him to the mouth of the cave. Pushing the boy aside, Uncle Ned began to yell.
"I know you're in there, Analiese, so you come out now and I won't have to cut down these pinyons and smoke you out."
"Ah, you wouldn't do that, would you, Uncle Ned?"
The echoing voice startled both Uncle and boy.
"Watch yourself, Delbert. She's mighty tricky."
But Delbert was squinting at a little flickering light in the darkness that was getting bigger and bigger.
"I think she's coming out," he said.
"What you be doing way up here, Uncle Ned?" asked Analiese as she emerged from the darkness. She was carrying a little pot full of tallow and a wick that flickered and snapped in the breeze.
"You know exactly why I come up here, Analiese, I guarantee!"
"Why, whatever do you mean?" asked Analiese innocently.
"You think I was born yesterday?"
"Not at all. I don't think you was born the day before that neither. Heck, everybody knows you're older than dirt, Uncle Ned, and I can't rightly recall when you was born."
"That's because you're younger and I'm older so you can't remember what happened before you was born."
"I reckon you're right about that, Uncle Ned. So, what brings you up here again?"
"You know what, Analiese. You know what you've been doing."
"Do tell? Well why don't we all go inside and set for a spell, so to speak?"
Delbert was looking a little anxious but Uncle Ned nodded his head so they followed Analiese back into the cave. The light from the lamp flickered and cast shadows along the tunnel and Delbert frequently thought the girl was getting too far ahead. He was scared she's douse the lamp and they'd be lost underground forever.
"I don't like this place," he whispered.
"Hush, boy!" muttered Uncle Ned.
By and by, Analiese stopped and set the lamp on top of a big boulder so it cast a dim yellowish light across a big, high domed cavern. White crystals in the walls occasionally reflected the light and as Uncle Ned's eyes got used to the darkness he noticed a group of three little clay figures on the floor in a circle. As he examined the figures closer he noticed one looked a little like Mr. Randall, another looked a little like Delbert and by damn if the third one wasn't the spitting image of himself.
"What you doing in here, Analiese? I know it's something wicked," declared Uncle Ned.
"Why, I don't think I'll dignify that with an reply," replied Analiese as she struck a match on the boulder and lit a cigarette. "I think you're imagining things, Uncle Ned."
"Oh no I'm not. What's those things for after all?" he asked, a triumphant flourish of accusation in his voice.
"What things are you talking about, Uncle Ned?"
"On the floor, right there!"
"Oh those. Well, those are props."
"Props? Props for what?"
"Oh, just a little play I been rehearsing. It helps to visualize things."
"Is that a fact?"
"It is a fact for true, Uncle Ned. Why would I lie?"
"Because you been witching me, Analise. That's why. You been taking words right out of my mouth before I can even say them."
"And what words would those be, Uncle Ned?"
"Why, you know what words. Words like, 'I found this boy here stealing calves,' and 'maybe you could see your way clear to paying me a reward, eh Mr. Randall?' and words like that."
"Do tell? Now, really, Uncle Ned. Why would you want to say words like those to Mr. Randall about your own nephew? Even if it were true, it's not a good thing to say about your relations, don't you know? Especially when their families are hungry because there's not work or nothing."
"I do indeed know and I have you know I don't need no lectures about my relations from you, Analiese."
"Do tell? Well that might mean we're all in agreement then."
"Uh, well, uh, of course, we're in agreement. That's just what I was telling you. Don't you listen?"
"Oh yes, Uncle Ned, I've been listening real good. You was telling me all about how we don't do bad things to our relations when they're hungry and especially we don't get greedy about collecting rewards from taipo, do we Uncle Ned?"
"No sir ree, we don't, for true and don't you forget it."
"I won't Uncle Ned, I won't and Delbert won't either, right Delbert?"
"I don't think I'm forgetting anything about this place," answered Delbert as he swallowed hard again.
"That's good, Delbert. It's good to remember how to treat your relations. You were going to help Uncle Ned roundup the rest of the calves too, as I recall."
"Yes ma'am, I was going to do that alright."
"And Uncle Ned was going to share his pay with you too wasn't he?"
"Uh, well I don't recall... "
"Oh, alright, Analiese," said Uncle Ned, a little bit annoyed. "You win! You always win."
"Not always, Uncle Ned. Because it's better when we can all win some of the time, don't you think?"
"I ain't sure what I think anymore except we better get out of this place before we forget the way."
"Well, it was sure nice that you came visiting. Drop in again whenever you're in the neighborhood. I bet you'll remember things about this place for a very long time too."
"Yes, every time I pass this place it seems like I remember something," said Uncle Ned.
"That's a good thing don't you think. That's how the land teaches us to do good things, you remember that, Delbert?"
"Yes ma'am, I remember."
"Well, good then. You can run along now. I've got some chores to do and then I'll meet you back at the ranch by and by."
"Well, uh, maybe I'll just go on home, uh, after I finish helping Uncle Ned of course."
"Nonsense, you stick around the bunkhouse and I'll bring you some rabbits by and by."
"You don't have to go to no trouble."
"Oh, it's no trouble, it's just how we treat our relations, don't we Uncle Ned."
"Yeah, whatever, Analiese. See you later maybe."
And with that Uncle Ned pushed Delbert back along the tunnel. By and by they caught sight of a spot of daylight and walked towards it. Delbert started to look back but Uncle Ned jerked his arm.
"Don't ever look back in here, boy. You're remember that, okay?"
"Yessir, I'll remember."
"Good, and you stay on the good side of that girl too. Otherwise, no telling what she'll do."
" I understand, Uncle Ned, and thanks for the advice."
"Don't mention it. I'm always happy to reward good behavior. Now let's be riding out of here. We got calves to roundup.
Analiese watched the riders as they disappeared in the pinyons. She patiently waited at the mouth of the cave until one of them returned. It was Delbert.
"Forget something?" she asked.
"Uh, well, yes, kind of. That picture over your head there on the rock."
"Yeah, what about it?"
"That's a grasshopper ain't it?
"Yep, that's what it's supposed to be anyways."
"That's what them pueblos call Kokopeli right?"
"So, I've heard. He makes powerful medicine sometimes."
"Yeah, but that one's holding a stick I think. And I heard that Kokopeli was a flute player."
"That's what I heard too," said Analiese, " but that's no stick."
"No? What is it?"
"It's an eight iron."
"A what?"
"A golf club."
"Kokopeli plays golf?"
"Why not, he's maybe a lucky feller don't you think?"
"I don't guess I'd know really."
"Well, maybe you'll find out someday, huh?"
"Yeah, maybe. And thanks again."
"For what?"
"For whatever it was you did."
"You shouldn't talk of such things. It's not polite."
"Sorry."
"It's okay, see ya later, huh?"
"Yeah, later, uh, you don't seem so scary now."
"Was I scary before?"
"Well, I think so."
"I don't remember being scary, but you never can know for sure about those things."
Delbert mounted his pony and galloped off into the pinyons. Analiese watched the dust settle then returned to the darkness. A moment later she emerged with a basket.
"Better check my snares," she whispered to Kokopeli. "Those men will be wanting rabbit for dinner, I bet." Kokopeli grinned at her and took a practice swing, just showing off.
"That'll play," she said happily as she danced off into the pinyons.
Now, Uncle Ned figured a couple of things. First, he figured that boy was a rustler. Second, he figured he'd capture that boy and collect a reward from Mr. Randall. In fact, he was already figuring how he was going to spend that money as he chased after the boy and the calves.
By and by, Uncle Ned caught up with the boy and told him to get down off his pony and not try nothing funny. You see, Uncle Ned had a pistol that he carried stuck in his belt, an old pistol that had been handed down for a couple of generations. Uncle Ned shot that pistol every once in awhile and occasionally hit what he was shooting at too.
So that boy was scared. And Uncle Ned wasn't about to unscare him. He waved that pistol around and ordered that boy to remount and drive those calves back to Mr. Randall's corral. And that's what that boy did too.
After the boy closed the gate on the corral, Uncle Ned ordered him to dismount again.
"We're going up to the house," said Uncle Ned gravely as he pointed with his lips. "Now, you been real cooperative so don't ruin it for yourself now."
The boy said nothing. He just walked up to the house, a little shakey in the knees. Uncle Ned followed and opened the screen door.
"Go on in and make it snappy!" he said.
Mr. Randall was working at his desk in the front room.
"Howdy, Mr. Randall," Uncle Ned said.
"Howdy, Ned, what can I do for you?" asked the rancher.
"Well, uh, well, I, uh, well we been out rounding up strays, you know?"
"Yes, I do know since that's what I told you to do this morning."
"Ah, yep, well, uh.... I uh... "
"Oh, come on, Ned! Spit it out!"
"Well we got powerful thirsty and was wondering if you wouldn't mind advancing us a little scratch for a cold beer?"
"What?!"
"What I mean is, we just need something to take the edge off, what do you think?"
"I think you better get back to work, Ned. Now I'm busy and come lunchtime maybe we'll all just pop a few cold ones if you can get the lead out long enough."
"Oh, yessir, Mr. Randall. In fact we got a bunch a calves in the corral already."
"Oh do you now?" asked the rancher incredulously.
He walked over to the door squinted.
"Damned if you don't. Well in that case y'all take a break then with my complements. There's beer in the fridge."
Well, Uncle Ned and the boy went into the kitchen and got a couple of beers out of the fridge and walked back out on the porch.
"Seems like I had something else I was supposed to tell him," said Uncle Ned. "I wonder what it was?"
"I don't remember either," said the boy. His voice kind of quivered a little bit and he was swallowing hard.
"Wait a minute! Wait just a gall darn minute!" exclaimed Uncle Ned. "I was running you in for rustling. That's it."
So Uncle Ned grabbed the boy by the hair and hauled him back into the house.
"You forget something?" asked the rancher.
"Yeah, I, uh. Well now, what was it?"
"I don't see how I could say, Ned."
"Uh, gosh, Mr. Randall, I just remembered we never said 'thank you' so I reckon I'm saying it now. Thank you for the beers."
"Don't mention it, Ned. I'm always happy to reward diligence. By the way, I don't recall seeing that boy around here before. He one of your nephews, Ned?"
"Uh, well, yeah, he's Aunt Johnny's boy. Ain't that right, boy?"
"Yessir," said the boy as he stared at the floor.
"Well, Ned, it's always good to break them in right, don't you think?"
"Yessir, I reckon so," answered Uncle Ned. "We'll be going now and thanks again."
"You're welcome, Ned. See you at dinner."
After he and the boy returned to the porch, Uncle Ned began to ponder. And he pondered and he pondered and then he pondered some more, scratching his ear and staring at the corral and then the house and then squinting at the sky. By and by, something seemed to dawn on him.
"I'm being witched!" he exclaimed. "I'll be damned, and I know just who's doing too."
"Who?" asked the boy.
"None of your business, that's who. What's your name anyways?"
"Don't you remember? I'm Delbert, Aunt Johnny's boy. You used to come around when we was haying."
"Oh yeah, I remember now. You've grown some since then."
"Yessir, can I, uh, go home now."
"Nope," said Ned emphatically. "We're going for a little ride up in them mountains, and don't you try nothing funny, you hear?"
"Yessir, I hear," said Delbert, apparently resigned to his fate, whatever it might be.
A couple of hours later, Uncle Ned and Delbert reined up next to a little cave hidden in a stand of pinyons. Uncle Ned ordered Delbert to dismount and followed him to the mouth of the cave. Pushing the boy aside, Uncle Ned began to yell.
"I know you're in there, Analiese, so you come out now and I won't have to cut down these pinyons and smoke you out."
"Ah, you wouldn't do that, would you, Uncle Ned?"
The echoing voice startled both Uncle and boy.
"Watch yourself, Delbert. She's mighty tricky."
But Delbert was squinting at a little flickering light in the darkness that was getting bigger and bigger.
"I think she's coming out," he said.
"What you be doing way up here, Uncle Ned?" asked Analiese as she emerged from the darkness. She was carrying a little pot full of tallow and a wick that flickered and snapped in the breeze.
"You know exactly why I come up here, Analiese, I guarantee!"
"Why, whatever do you mean?" asked Analiese innocently.
"You think I was born yesterday?"
"Not at all. I don't think you was born the day before that neither. Heck, everybody knows you're older than dirt, Uncle Ned, and I can't rightly recall when you was born."
"That's because you're younger and I'm older so you can't remember what happened before you was born."
"I reckon you're right about that, Uncle Ned. So, what brings you up here again?"
"You know what, Analiese. You know what you've been doing."
"Do tell? Well why don't we all go inside and set for a spell, so to speak?"
Delbert was looking a little anxious but Uncle Ned nodded his head so they followed Analiese back into the cave. The light from the lamp flickered and cast shadows along the tunnel and Delbert frequently thought the girl was getting too far ahead. He was scared she's douse the lamp and they'd be lost underground forever.
"I don't like this place," he whispered.
"Hush, boy!" muttered Uncle Ned.
By and by, Analiese stopped and set the lamp on top of a big boulder so it cast a dim yellowish light across a big, high domed cavern. White crystals in the walls occasionally reflected the light and as Uncle Ned's eyes got used to the darkness he noticed a group of three little clay figures on the floor in a circle. As he examined the figures closer he noticed one looked a little like Mr. Randall, another looked a little like Delbert and by damn if the third one wasn't the spitting image of himself.
"What you doing in here, Analiese? I know it's something wicked," declared Uncle Ned.
"Why, I don't think I'll dignify that with an reply," replied Analiese as she struck a match on the boulder and lit a cigarette. "I think you're imagining things, Uncle Ned."
"Oh no I'm not. What's those things for after all?" he asked, a triumphant flourish of accusation in his voice.
"What things are you talking about, Uncle Ned?"
"On the floor, right there!"
"Oh those. Well, those are props."
"Props? Props for what?"
"Oh, just a little play I been rehearsing. It helps to visualize things."
"Is that a fact?"
"It is a fact for true, Uncle Ned. Why would I lie?"
"Because you been witching me, Analise. That's why. You been taking words right out of my mouth before I can even say them."
"And what words would those be, Uncle Ned?"
"Why, you know what words. Words like, 'I found this boy here stealing calves,' and 'maybe you could see your way clear to paying me a reward, eh Mr. Randall?' and words like that."
"Do tell? Now, really, Uncle Ned. Why would you want to say words like those to Mr. Randall about your own nephew? Even if it were true, it's not a good thing to say about your relations, don't you know? Especially when their families are hungry because there's not work or nothing."
"I do indeed know and I have you know I don't need no lectures about my relations from you, Analiese."
"Do tell? Well that might mean we're all in agreement then."
"Uh, well, uh, of course, we're in agreement. That's just what I was telling you. Don't you listen?"
"Oh yes, Uncle Ned, I've been listening real good. You was telling me all about how we don't do bad things to our relations when they're hungry and especially we don't get greedy about collecting rewards from taipo, do we Uncle Ned?"
"No sir ree, we don't, for true and don't you forget it."
"I won't Uncle Ned, I won't and Delbert won't either, right Delbert?"
"I don't think I'm forgetting anything about this place," answered Delbert as he swallowed hard again.
"That's good, Delbert. It's good to remember how to treat your relations. You were going to help Uncle Ned roundup the rest of the calves too, as I recall."
"Yes ma'am, I was going to do that alright."
"And Uncle Ned was going to share his pay with you too wasn't he?"
"Uh, well I don't recall... "
"Oh, alright, Analiese," said Uncle Ned, a little bit annoyed. "You win! You always win."
"Not always, Uncle Ned. Because it's better when we can all win some of the time, don't you think?"
"I ain't sure what I think anymore except we better get out of this place before we forget the way."
"Well, it was sure nice that you came visiting. Drop in again whenever you're in the neighborhood. I bet you'll remember things about this place for a very long time too."
"Yes, every time I pass this place it seems like I remember something," said Uncle Ned.
"That's a good thing don't you think. That's how the land teaches us to do good things, you remember that, Delbert?"
"Yes ma'am, I remember."
"Well, good then. You can run along now. I've got some chores to do and then I'll meet you back at the ranch by and by."
"Well, uh, maybe I'll just go on home, uh, after I finish helping Uncle Ned of course."
"Nonsense, you stick around the bunkhouse and I'll bring you some rabbits by and by."
"You don't have to go to no trouble."
"Oh, it's no trouble, it's just how we treat our relations, don't we Uncle Ned."
"Yeah, whatever, Analiese. See you later maybe."
And with that Uncle Ned pushed Delbert back along the tunnel. By and by they caught sight of a spot of daylight and walked towards it. Delbert started to look back but Uncle Ned jerked his arm.
"Don't ever look back in here, boy. You're remember that, okay?"
"Yessir, I'll remember."
"Good, and you stay on the good side of that girl too. Otherwise, no telling what she'll do."
" I understand, Uncle Ned, and thanks for the advice."
"Don't mention it. I'm always happy to reward good behavior. Now let's be riding out of here. We got calves to roundup.
Analiese watched the riders as they disappeared in the pinyons. She patiently waited at the mouth of the cave until one of them returned. It was Delbert.
"Forget something?" she asked.
"Uh, well, yes, kind of. That picture over your head there on the rock."
"Yeah, what about it?"
"That's a grasshopper ain't it?
"Yep, that's what it's supposed to be anyways."
"That's what them pueblos call Kokopeli right?"
"So, I've heard. He makes powerful medicine sometimes."
"Yeah, but that one's holding a stick I think. And I heard that Kokopeli was a flute player."
"That's what I heard too," said Analiese, " but that's no stick."
"No? What is it?"
"It's an eight iron."
"A what?"
"A golf club."
"Kokopeli plays golf?"
"Why not, he's maybe a lucky feller don't you think?"
"I don't guess I'd know really."
"Well, maybe you'll find out someday, huh?"
"Yeah, maybe. And thanks again."
"For what?"
"For whatever it was you did."
"You shouldn't talk of such things. It's not polite."
"Sorry."
"It's okay, see ya later, huh?"
"Yeah, later, uh, you don't seem so scary now."
"Was I scary before?"
"Well, I think so."
"I don't remember being scary, but you never can know for sure about those things."
Delbert mounted his pony and galloped off into the pinyons. Analiese watched the dust settle then returned to the darkness. A moment later she emerged with a basket.
"Better check my snares," she whispered to Kokopeli. "Those men will be wanting rabbit for dinner, I bet." Kokopeli grinned at her and took a practice swing, just showing off.
"That'll play," she said happily as she danced off into the pinyons.
