Next to The Custard

0 Conversations

Previously, on Next to the Custard...

For thirty difficult years the lands of Aisorbma and the Kingdom co-existed in uneasy peace, following centuries of unchecked hostility. In that time many raids were executed, hoping to provoke the powers which rule into renewing the war. These raids were largely unsuccessful, until approximately three weeks before the time in which this episode takes place.

Recently, two young nobles from the Kingdom had destroyed a rice pudding factory in Animoles, on Aisorbmian soil. Hundreds were killed, including Marquis Endam ar Berrito, the noble who planned the raid. His companion, Baroness Erica del Erica, was assassinated soon after her return to the Kingdom by his Majesty the King, who feared that she was a security risk.

The Prime Minister of Aisorbma responded to the destruction of Anilomes by sending a Ranger to the King, to gain his co-operation in maintaining the peace they had worked for three decades to maintain. The King sent the Ranger back with a message, but the Ranger was killed. Two men, Remolorirati and his son Sunoremidera, who have lived in the lands of the Kingdom for many years, bear this message at this time. They are the last hope of peace. Hostilities have already begun.

It is now the twilight of the last great age. The Great War is about to begin.

The following account is taken from historical records.

Episode Ten: Receiving the Parchment

Tunoginimisi sat on his rooftop, drinking, and blissfully ignoring the crowd of people trying alternately to encourage or coax or shout him down.

Gunorelitara heard them from atop his steed, at the border of the village. It didn't seem to have occurred to any of them to fetch a ladder. Were he permitted, he would have approached them to suggest it.

But he was not permitted. He was a Paladin of the Prime Minister's personal guard, and he was on duty watching the south-west pass. There was a forest to the south, which would obscure all the roads more than a league or so from his position; to the west there were plains. And to the north, someone had just thrown an empty bottle from a great height, and it had smashed on the ground. Gunorelitara stifled a smile.

The air was warm, the sky paling. It was the seventh day of the troop's stay in the village, and the drunkard's antics were only a hint of the troubles going on. The villagers knew why the Prime Minister was here, in the border-most settlement, and largely they valued the protection they were receiving and the importance they had been awarded by his presence. But basic realities were becoming paramount; the village supported less than a hundred people, and the twenty-four Paladins and their steeds were eating into the winter supplies. A barn which might be used to keep livestock warm for next spring had been occupied by the Paladins as a barracks and stable, and at any time eight men would be sleeping there while others made sure the horses were well rested and fed.

Gunorelitara heard a drunken yell of 'Goway!' from behind, then a chorus of 'ooh!'ing and he turned. Tunoginimisi was trying to slide down the roof and had slipped, regaining a grip just before reaching the edge. The other villagers were crowding a little nearer, with some of the taller ones trying to reach up and support Tunoginimisi's descent.

When he turned back Finogilisera was there, which startled Gunorelitara's horse. Finogilisera raised a hand to calm the animal, and then looked at Gunorelitara and made movements with his fingers.

'I should... sorry, Fin, I don't understand. Slow down,' said Gunorelitara. Fin repeated the motions more slowly, occasionally stuttering with words which his armoured arms could no longer manoeuvre into. Moments later Gunorelitara understood. 'I should be more careful,' he confirmed. 'Yeah, or anyone could walk in. Where've yer been?'

South and east, Fin signalled. Nearby villages are warned of the danger, and are watching for Kingdom troops.

'How far've yer ridden?' Fin held up three fingers, outstretched, then flicked them into five, and five again. Thirteen leagues. Gunorelitara dismounted his horse, and Fin did likewise. 'Take yer steed to the barn,' Gunorelitara said, 'and he'll be looked after. Then yer can come back and talk.'

The drunkard finally fell from the roof, onto several of the people, and Gunorelitara turned to watch as Medofesipanu came out to see what was going on. The doctor made a quick assessment and then returned to his house, assured that no-one was hurt. In this brief interval Fin returned from the barn on foot.

'How is the armour?' Gunorelitara asked. It fits, Fin answered. I've always made sure it would be ready if I needed it, he commented. Gunorelitara nodded grimly. He had been hoping for a different answer, although he wasn't sure of what kind. It had been years since Fin had served as a Paladin, and although Gunorelitara knew that Fin had been rendered a mute by cruel citizens of the Kingdom, and therefore unable to follow many of the duties of a Paladin without assistance, he did not fully understand why Fin had become a Ranger instead.

His small-talk was cut short as Fin gestured ahead. Two men approach, he signalled. Gunorelitara nodded, and mounted his steed. 'Tell Bemosolinata we'll ‘ave guests soon, and that I've nearly finished me shift,' he said. 'He's the tall Paladin at the door to the barn.'

Fin went with his horse, and returned with Bemosolinata, who carried with him an opened tin of rice pudding. He offered some to Gunorelitara, who accepted, and Fin, who refused, saying he'd just eaten. Patiently they waited.

'Hello the camp!' shouted the shorter of the two approaching men, an old man dressed warmly for all weathers. The other was also well-dressed and wore a scarf around much of his head. The three Paladins continued to wait until they arrived.

'Hello,' repeated the old man. 'I have a message for the Prime Minister from the King.'

Gunorelitara drew his sword. 'What's yer message?'

'I'm sorry, friend, but it's fer his eyes only, orders of the King.'

'The King has no authority here!' exclaimed Bemosolinata patriotically. Gunorelitara shushed him.

'I'll say what I can,' said the old man. 'My name is Remolorirati. I am continuing the mission of a Ranger named Tesorilivesa, who we last saw three days ago. He gave me this.' The man held out a small triangular badge, which Fin accepted, inspected, and nodded.

'All right then,' said Gunorelitara. 'I'll take yer to him. If yer have any weapons remove them here. And you sir,' he said, referring to the second man, 'take off yer scarf. The Prime Minister had a scare with a masked assassin about nine days or so past. Won't let anyone near 'im if he can't see their face.'

'It seemeth me then that he would have had a frolicsome time with thine invisible Ranger friend,' murmured the second man.

'Silence, Sunder, and remove thine scarf!' snapped the old man. 'I apologise for my son. He's lived in the Kingdom almost all of his life.' Then Fin caught Gunorelitara's attention and gestured quickly. 'What did he say?' asked Remolorirati.

Gunorelitara grimaced. 'He said that he doesn't think it's a good idea for yer boy to be here, and hopes that yer message is worth his presence.'

'How rude,' said Remolorirati. 'Such thoughts should be kept to oneself.'

Gunorelitara diplomatically avoided assigning blame and instead led the way into the village. Fin stayed with him, while Bemosolinata took over the sentry duty.

They led the two messengers to the northernmost house, which the Prime Minister now used as a base of operations. The family which had lived here eight days ago had fled east, despite assurances that there was not likely to be an attack here. There were guards posted around the outside, and none of them wore helmets. Gunorelitara spoke quickly to one of the guards, who entered the house while his companion stayed at the door diligently.

The Prime Minister of Aisorbma himself came out to meet them. 'What are yer names?' he asked.

'This is Remolorirati and ... I believe the young man is named Sunder, lord.' introduced Gunorelitara.

'Not an Aisorbmian name,' the Prime Minister observed.

'My name is Sunder pi Yeonan,' said the young man. The four Paladins drew their swords instantly. Remolorirati stepped forward, carefully.

'My birth name was Remolorirati, but I not no longer Aisorbmian. I am an exile who was forced to take the name Remolor ir Ati. This is my son, who has been raised as a citizen of the Kingdom. He has assumed the name Sunoremidera for three days while in the service of you and the King. While I still have loyalties to the home which cast me out, he has no allegiance to you. But spare him your tempers, for without him I might not have made it here, and the task of my old friend Tesorilivesa might never have been finished. I bring the message entrusted to him, and here it is. But before I deliver it I will have a promise from all of you that he will not be harmed while he is here.'

The Prime Minister grimaced. 'Tesorilivesa is dead,' he said. 'My friend Rekowarilara can see these things. I've come to trust his opinion recently, he's been damned useful this week, no mistake, so I know yer speak the truth. Thank you, Remolor ir Ati, for completing his task.' He turned to Sunder, and extended his right hand to the young man's right shoulder, and spoke words in the formal speech. 'In honour of my friend, I promise you that neither I, nor anyone here in my service will harm you while you stay in Aisorbma.'

Gunorelitara sheathed his sword and gripped Sunder's shoulder as the Prime Minister had. 'In honour of my lord, I promise you will not be harmed during your stay, if I can make it so.'

The two guards sheathed weapons and swore similarly. Fin lowered his sword, touched the young man's shoulder, then spoke in sign. Gunorelitara confirmed that the vow was said.

'Then here is your message, sir.' So saying, Remolor ir Ati handed the Prime Minister the envelope from the King. The Prime Minister broke the seal, and tore the end from the envelope, and took the parchment from within.

He read:

'To his Honoured Grace the Prime Minister of Aisorbma,
'It is my most sincere hope that this message doth find thee in the utmost of good health, and that no untoward incidents hath delayed the Ranger to whom this message wert entrusted, for the times doth alter with each passing day and I fear that war doth loom almost unstoppable upon the horizon.
'My beloved Queen and I hath between us spent many hours in contemplation of the various ways and means by which that thing which we all dread, war, might be avoided. Many of the options-'

Avoided? interrupted Fin's fingers.

'The King wants peace?' asked Gunorelitara. 'There've been ‘alf a dozen attacks since the destruction of Anilomes, and only a week ago he made a speech about pressing forward an advantage. He's got a bloody funny way of wanting peace.'

There was a yell from inside the house, and the Prime Minister retreated inside. After a moment he called out, 'It's fine, it's just Rek. I think you startled him, Gunorel.' There was a pause. 'You can come in if you like,' said the Prime Minister. 'The doorway's no place for letters anyway.'

They entered the house, Remolor first, then Sunder and Fin, then Gunorelitara. As they did so the man on the bed screamed and pointed, his finger jabbing somewhere near Sunder. 'Snake!' he said.

The Prime Minister paled. The two guards came in quickly and immediately moved to Sunder. The Prime Minister halted them before they could touch him.

'A week ago,' the Prime Minister said, 'I heard a prophecy that a snake would kill a silver lion. Rek is in tune with that prophecy, for reasons that I do not understand. It has been his belief that the silver lion is me.'

'The man is a raving lunatic!' exclaimed Remolor. 'And you just promised no harm would come to my son.'

'And no harm will. But for the time being I must place him under guard, so that he does not approach me, or any other member of the Ministry.' The Prime Minister looked at Sunder directly. 'Rek may be wrong, but at the moment I have no choice. If I am wrong, I am in your debt, Sunder pi Yeonan. I hope I am wrong.'

The guards stepped closer to escort the young man away. And then they heard the bugle call from the south-west.

'An attack!' said Gunorelitara. He ran outside and expertly vaulted into his saddle, then drew his sword and with his heels kicked his steed into a charge. 'Paladins to me!' he shouted. Ten other Paladins quickly mounted their steeds and followed, all racing past the sentry point where Bemosolinata blew his bugle. Those who remained would be quickly preparing the rest of the defences. The distance of the far-off riders would give them perhaps eight minutes. Gunorelitara was earning them more time.

Three minutes later, with less than a mile until the clash, were a dozen or so Aisorbmian Paladins racing towards him. Pursuing them was a company of fifty riders in gaudier colours, lances levelling for the charge.

Gunorelitara pointed his sword forward, manoeuvring between the fleeing Aisorbmii cavalry. The more attentive of them wheeled around. The southbound Paladins made a wedge formation, twenty strong, Gunorelitara taking the point. They were scant metres distant. He yelled a battle-cry-

-'Aisorbmii!'-

-and was impaled by a lance moments later.

The name of the village has sadly been lost to this history, but the battle was named the Battle of the Precipice shortly afterwards, and much later known as the First Fall.

Gunorelitara, sadly, made no kills for his name that day, but he did earn the defenders precious time. His decisive actions were crucial in shaping the future that followed, as further research will explain.

Next episode, we will explore the Battle of the Precipice in more detail. The more melodramatic viewers may wish to interpret this as a 'To Be Continued'; feel free. The beginning of the War is a gruesome tale, but only with further analysis will the truth be made known.


The Next to the Custard
Archive

MaW and Ripper

16.01.03 Front Page

Back Issue Page


Bookmark on your Personal Space


Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry

Entry

A933563

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more