The Manifesto's of our Candidates (read em and weep!)

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First Six Candidates

Dudemeister


  1. I am English (or a limey in N. American
    parlance).

  2. I have been to London a few times,
    often... and I like it.(at least in the short doses I experienced so far).

  3. I can even tolerate going into a pub
    and settling for a pint of Directors'.

  4. I do not live within a 1000Km radius
    of the City. This makes retribution a
    transcontinental affair.

  5. I can be planted randomly in the 'theatre district' and find a good restaurant, eat,and find the tube station - needless of cheap tourist maps and without suffering too many skin abrasions.

  6. I have some opinions


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NM


I am deeply moved and honored to have been nominated for this most prestigious post.

Having been asked to publish my resume, I shall attempt to comply.


  1. Being a true 'Son of the South',you can rest assured I am quite proficient at what we refer to as 'The Good 'Ol Boy' system. Some call it the 'You Scratch My Back' approach.

  2. Favoritism is the backbone of my political policies. 'If it's good for me... maybe we can ALL profit!

  3. I understand most would prefer a citizen of England to take the post, but I believe the position calls for fresh blood (or Alcohol... as the case may be!)

  4. While I may not be good in administrative duties, it seems they are not required for this job. This is a definite plus to all concerned.

  5. I prefer to spend my valuable moments in life in pursuit of pleasure and reward.

  6. My pleasure and a reward for anyone who provides same to me.

  7. I believe this is a once in a life time opportunity.I shall model my term in office after the Great Zaphod Beeblebrox:

    'Eat drink and be merry... and if you get caught, lie or bribe someone'

I shall do my best to never be sober enough to remember my mistakes, and shall endeavor to insure those around me are never sober enough to accuse me


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


ICARUS


Greek Mythological Reference for Mayor

Hello, I'm Icarus and I'm running for political office.

  1. I resolve to veto anything stupid that comes in my direction. And then I'll insult it, just to make sure. Then possibly hit the person responsible for it with a halibut or maybe a salmon.

  2. Anyone voting for me will recieve the hollow part of a doughnut in a special gift box made of a combination of nitrogen and oxygen. I can't afford anything else.


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DA BARON


  1. If elected, I will see that GOLDFISH are accepted as Legal tender throughout the city of London! Which means that if you're a bit short on cash, you can simply pop out to Surrey, and buy yourself a bowl of fish which you can then take to Harrods to purchase a diamond earring, or a bowl of Chili!

  2. Yes, if elected, Chili will become the OFFICIAL DISH of London! I'll import the FINEST CHEFS from TEXAS to prepare the dish on streetcorners for any and all passers-by!

  3. Bobbys shall wear FLOURESCENT PINK, so they stand out in a crowd, thus allowing their PRESENCE to be KNOWN and hence prevent crime!

  4. Since I don't live in London, and have never even been there, I AM UNTAINTED by the LOCAL PARTISAN POLITICS and CORRUPTION! Any and all Politics/Corruption shall have to be IMPORTED, and hence IRRELEVANT to the functioning of the city!

What more could you ask for?

Vote for da Baron!

'A Goldfish in every pocket!'


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STUMP7


  1. Well lets see I'm not English so that in itself ought to qualify me.

  2. I run a bar so I know how to drink

  3. I've seen the sun rise over the Atlantic more times than I care to count

  4. I have a large quanity of female companions

  5. I've never slept with the current Queen


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MadMunk


  1. Knowledge is Power. The power which the people can grant needs to be used with the power of great minds to produce a result to help the communities at large.

  2. I am those great minds. All of them. Together as one. The symbol of Unity. I will Unite the people.

  3. I demand that the people deserve the right to their freedom.

  4. Freedom to Buy a GOOD bag of Fish 'n' Chips.

  5. To consume huge amounts of Alcoholic beverages, without fear or persecution.

  6. To Liberate the art of musical armpits.

  7. I am the voice of the people. I am the people as one.

Vote for the future of the community


Vote MadMunk.


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