The Teletubbies
Created | Updated Jun 16, 2003
Has anyone ever noticed that the teletubbies all look like men (or women) wearing very strange and twisted anti-radiation suits? Well, my theory is that the Teletubbies are in fact a top secret set of scientists working on the possibilities of harnessing nuclear reactions more effectively. Perhaps the wierdo babble they speak is actually very high-brow tech speak for different types of radiation. Maybe the reason they "sleep" in foil blankets is because they are actually not sleeping, they are just resting to chew over their theories on nuclear physics, and the foil blankets are in fact a special kind of super effective radiation proof blanket to save the scientists from any radiation leaks. And that brings me to the hoover thing, perhaps it is some kind of ultra high-tech kind of radiation cleaner and that it isn't just a bog standard robot hoover.
Perhaps the "sun" is actually an experiment gone very wrong, so they had to seal it in an ultra tough, radiation proof glass container. But then they discovered it glowed so they replaced the strip lights in their secret lab with a "sun". The speakers that pop up all over the place actually tell the scientists what is going on in the outside world, and that the BBc just change it to sound like babyish commands for the teletubbies, unless it is a kind of Big Brother style thing (as in HG Well's 1984) that the scientists are working for, or it could be a kind of code. You decide.
And the rabbits could be some kind of radiation detectors and the little things that happen are actually side effects of the experiments. And maybe the televisions on their chests are actually links so that the teletubbies can watch the products of their experiments.(no offence intended to the parents of these children or to the children themselves) And the reason that the tubbies always jump down the hole in their lab roof is in fact that it is some kind of security feature that has a force field over it so that only the tubbies can get in. And the floods that sometimes happen are in fact cleansing liquids washing the grass free of radiation and the ships that sail in, are carrgo ships carrying food for the tubbies that they beam over to the tubbie mound. Perhaps the toast they eat are in fact cds that they absorb the info off by eating them. Well, now it is up to you to decide whether they are actually scientists or if they are just mind-numbingly stupid childrens tv characters.
