Smudger Snippets

3 Conversations

I suppose it's because I have so much time on my hands these days, that all these memories come flooding back to me.

The LHOP

It was when I found myself working back at the site near to my home once again, this time as a subbie, when I met my old boss again. He was a tyrant way back then and just as bad on this occasion in 1982. I was working as a welding inspector coordinating all the NDT1 between the NDT technicians and the production managers. It was really an intensive position as all the work was to be 100% tested, so it meant dealing with the U/T and the Bombers as well as the MPI2 technicians.

There were also a lot of abbreviated sections such as the LRS and TLP3. With this in mind we gave the small shed where all the technicians gathered to fill out their report forms, and wait for me to give them their assignments, the LHOP - Little House on the Prairie, the reason for this being that the boss could listen in on all our radio conversations, as he had the main set up in his office, and we did not want him near this shed as it was our small sanctuary away from all the stresses, which he normally supplied!

Inside this shed there was a small table with tea and coffee making facilities, a few chairs and a lot of dirt and polystyrene cups which had been used as ash trays, as the floor was full. The smell of sweaty feet and stale tobacco went well along with the steaming jackets that were always thrown over the heater in the vain hope of drying out before going back out into the snow and wind again. All in all it was basically a pigsty, but a great place to be when the blizzards blew off from the sea and the biting wind took your breath away as soon as you stepped outside. The gel used by the U/T men which was spread either side of the weld in order for the shoe to glide freely, was messy and sticky once it had dried onto their overalls, and it could be found on every surface inside the shed, leaving everything you touched all sticky.

One day I called up the NDT supervisor on the radio and told him that we could meet at the LHOP in ten minutes so I could hand out the latest requests and gather in the latest reports. He seemed agitated when we met up in the shed, as he told me that the boss was on the war path looking for some U/T technicians to do some rush work up in the deck assembly building. This meant that I had to tell the technicians to keep out of sight until the search was over as, if he took any of our U/T men away, it would mean us falling behind with the testing thus cause problems later and holding up production.

I decided to have a coffee, anyway, and catch up with some reports while the men were there and hand out some more request tickets making sure that they knew where the welds actually was on the drawings, to save confusion.

We were all enjoying the wee break, and talking away; I was leaning back on the two back legs of my chair with my feet up on the heater. Then panic set in as one of the lads spotted the bosses car heading straight for our shed. He must have seen and then followed me. Big Brian, who was a massive bloke, did not want to get into even more trouble as he had already been given a hard time from the boss for his lateness with his reports. In his blind panic to get out he kicked open the back door of the shed, which had been boarded shut earlier. The reason for this soon became apparent as the wind came gusting in, sending all the reports, requests and other paperwork flying out the other door and away out to sea.

The rest of the lads made good their escape by following Brian out the back door, leaving me struggling to get up as my chair had been leaning against the wall.

He came charging in, shouting and screaming and waving his arms about and threatening the lads who had already disappeared. Then he just glared at me, and all I could do was laugh, I just could not hold it in. I think it was the fact that I had worked for him before and had stood up against him when he became threatening, that made him calm down.

I did this previously in another incident, years earlier, when he was my boss in the quality control department. He came into the office just before seven am, when our shift was due to start. A few of us were having a coffee and a joke when he came bursting into the office and threw his hard hat right across the room. It glanced off a filing cabinet and took out a few overhead lights, before ending up spinning on the floor. We all just froze in disbelief. He then went into a rage about us all enjoying ourselves and threatened to send home the next person to laugh. Then he sat down at his desk which was on a small stage at the far end of the room. Now on this desk there was a modesty board (for female staff members) and someone had placed a pair of work boots at the front of the board, giving the impression that someone was kneeling below the desk. It was when he sat down and folded his arms with that content smug look on his face that I just burst out laughing and started to walk towards the door. 'Where do you think you're going?' he roared at me. I replied that I was just going to get my jacket before going home. That seemed to put an end to the fear and anxiety that he always managed to create in those days.

Meanwhile in the shed, I managed to sit upright with my feet on the floor and asked him if he wanted a coffee? He just nodded his head and I smiled as we watched all the paperwork flying out to sea. 'Now see what you have done,' I said. 'That has just put us all back a few days now.' He then went on to explain that he desperately wanted some U/T work done up in deck assembly and that the production managers were giving him a hard time. I calmly told him that what we needed were more NDT technicians, as they had increased the amount of welders every week, and that we could not keep up as it was. He grudgingly agreed with me, and said he would take more on, then asked me how many we needed, and we decided on a figure. Then, just as he was calmed and relaxed, two unfortunate subbie NDT men came into the shed. The boss jumped to his feet, spilling all the drinks from the table as he did so, and ordered the two blokes into the back of his car. They opened the boot of the car to put their U/T equipment in and they started to get into the back of his car. 'Don't you dare sit on my seats with those filthy overalls', he roared at them. I can still see the expressions on their terrified faces as they desperately clung on the rear roof handles as the boss sped away at great speed!

I watched them go up towards the deck assembly, the car stop and the two blokes get out. But, just as they went to get their equipment out of the boot, the boss, who had forgotten that their gear was in there, sped away once again. He left them stranded and confused as to what to do next, as they could not test anything without their gear.

I waited a few moments to allow time for the boss to get back to his office and then I called him up on the radio and calmly explained what had happened. I made sure that it didn't appear to be his fault, as his fiery temper might flare up again and cause us even more delays and confusion.

The more I think about it now I am totally convinced that it was only the fact that I had worked with him before, when I was a member of the staff on that site, and that I knew how to talk to him when he went into one of his tantrums, that kept my job safe for the duration. We crossed swords on several occasions after that, yet that incident at the LHOP was the one that stayed forever in my memory, just two innocent blokes in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I met him again years later, when we found ourselves working together for the same subbie firm, but that time he was not my boss. He still had that temper and still managed to upset people with the minimum effort, it just came naturally to him. I suppose it was because I was brought up in a similar environment, where outbursts of rage and violence could flare up at any time, that I managed to get along with him.

I still have fond memories when I think back to that little shack out there amongst all that jungle of steel and construction - a little haven in a mad world - and the humour of all those NDT technicians. Crazy people, but I liked it.

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04.03.04 Front Page

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1Non destructive testing2U/T: Ultrasonic Testing
Bombers: Radiographers
MPI: Magnetic Testing Inspection
3LRS: Load Restraining Structure
TLP: Tension Leg Platforms

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