Just for Fun
Created | Updated Jul 11, 2003
A huge 'Just For Fun' this week, to make up for its none appearance last week, if you get tired reading it, take a break, drink a cup of your chosen beverage, and continue reading when you feel up to it...
IT'S A WRAP
The weekly movie quiz for all you film buffs out there...answers, as usual, in next weeks 'The Post'.
THE NAKED GUN
From the files of Police Squad
- Who plays Frank Drebin?
- Pricilla Presley used to be married to which famous singer?
- Which Queen of England made a special appearance?
- Who directed the movie?
- What was stabbed with a pen after biting Frank on the nose?
JOKE OF THE WEEK
The bad and ugly king had a beautiful girl as a captive. Though her
beauty shone like a thousand moons (and her moon wasn't so bad either),
the dress she was forced to wear was very unbecoming.
She waited day and night, looking with hope out of the dungeon window,
searching for the knight who would free her. However, every knight was
scared away by her dress, which, as I've said before, was very ugly.
She was crying in hopelessness when the evil king jeered,
"See, I told you no knight would rescue a damsel in this dress!!!"
GET YOUR THINKING CAP ON
A question will be set every week for you all to try and answer. The question will be a mind-bending puzzle, and the answer will be given next week.
The question:-
FUN ON h2g2
I enjoy browsing pages on h2g2, so I thought that I would bring your attention to some of the fun researcher written pages I have come across on my travels.
Ever wondered about Bubbles? Then wonder no more because Wompus has written a guide article especially for all us bubble wonderers.
NAME THAT SONG
Each week I will print a quote from a song, all you have to do is guess the title of the song and who sang it.
This weeks quote:-
"Who finds the money when you pay the rent?
Did you think that money was heaven-sent?"
THE WEEKLY ANAGRAM
For those that don't know, an anagram is a word or words, formed from rearranging letters from another word or words. An example anagram would be, Cat Got Beer, which rearranged makes my name Greebo T. Cat.
Each week I will print an anagram and a clue to what it is. You will have until next week to get the answer.
GROANING SWEET HOG
American Historical Celebrities
GREEBO'S BIG ONE
Would you like your say on the big issues of the day? Well here's your chance, click below to get transported to Greebo's voting booth, were you can answer the question of the week.
Results will be printed in two weeks time.
VOTE HERE
THE RESULTS - This vote saw the biggest turn out since Greebo's big one started... The question, Which hand does an h2g2 researcher wipe their bottom with...
75% of all researchers said they didn't use their hands, they used toilet paper.
8% either used their left or right hands... or were HARD, and used sandpaper.. Ouch!!!
1% abstained as they had no idea what toilet paper was...
So there you have it!!! Toilet paper wipes the floor with everyone... ~grin~
THE OCCASIONAL BIT OF FUN
Don't worry about the odd title, this is just a little irregular section which I will include in 'Just For Fun', when I see something that tickles my fancy.
international institute of answering machine answers:
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you just as soon as we're finished.
Hello, you've reached Stooby and Greebo. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Greebs likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is Greebo: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(Narrator's voice:) There Greebo sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Greebo in the middle of it, her arms wind-milling at incredible speeds! Will she make it in time? Alas no, her valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
"Hi. Now you say something."
"Hello. I am Greebo's answering machine. What are you?"
"Hi! Greebo's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
"Hello, this is Greebo's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the
phone."
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you"
"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"Hi, this is Greebo. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave a message.
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank-you."
Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say will be recorded and will be used.
LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS
It's A Wrap
FALLEN
- Who plays the part of John Hobbes?
Denzel Washington - What is the last form the spirit took at the end of the film?
A Cat - Who played Hobbes partner?
JohnGoodman - Who plays Hobbes boss
Donald Sutherland - Who directed the film?
Gregory Hoblit
Get You Thinking Cap On
Q.There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?
A. Incorrectly
Name That Song
Cherish by Kool and the Gang
The Weekly Anagram
EXCITE TART ON PAGES = GREAT EXPECTATIONS
AND FINALLY
Send your jokes, letters and anything else to me here:- Greebo T. Cat
Thanks again everyone...
Greebs
