The Quest

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a work of fiction. Characters are intended to be amusing caricatures of their h2g2 counterparts, and the author means no offense in the use of researchers' names and characters. I don't even portray sea accurately. In short, please do not be offended. Your inclusion in the story simply means that I like you, so be flattered!

CHAPTER TWELVE

'sea! sea?!'

Someone was shaking sea at an ungodly hour of the morning, and she wasn't happy about it. She rolled over, trying to ignore him, but he persisted. Her hand landed on a boot, and she twined the laces around her fingers.

'sea! Get up, sea.'

sea groaned. She peeked through one eye to locate the offender, then swung at his head with the boot. The intruder yelped and leaped back, narrowly keeping his head attatched to his shoulders.

'I'll warn you now: my aim will improve the more you annoy me.'
sea growled.

'Allright, so I'll stay out of boot swinging range, but you need to get up. Someone's here to see you.'
It was Yo. Figures that he would want to torture her; after all, she had tortured him for a long time when they dated.

'Bloody zarking men.'
sea muttered.

'Tell whoever it is to zark off. Feel free to quote me on that.'

Yo sighed as sea rolled over.

'I really didn't want to have to do this...'

Yo picked up the bucket from the floor, and sea's ears perked up. Her eyes opened and shifted toward Yo, then narrowed. She began to sit up. Yo knew his time was short, so he threw the water at her and bolted out the door.

Across the puddle, in France, a little girl looked up as a scream of rage was heard in the distance.

Yo ran out the door, past a startled Red Dog, who was standing in the door.

'She's awake, sir, just ask you asked, but if I were you, I'd be careful!'

Mere seconds later, a very wet and very enraged-looking sea stomped into the hall. Red Dog's eyes widened, and he backed out the door. sea's eyes narrowed.

'I don't suppose you know where Yowuzupman is,'
said sea, in a voice that was terrifyingly calm, and made the little hairs on the back of Red Dog's neck stand on end.

'Ah, no, actually, he came running out here; nearly knocked me over. He went straight out the door.'
Red Dog rested his hand on the 9mm he wore in a shoulder holster under his coat. sea was making him really nervous.

sea pondered this for a moment.

'Hmm. Pity. Please, come sit down while I get dressed.'

sea turned and went back into her room. Red Dog breathed a sigh of relief, then nearly jumped out of his skin when someone knocked on the window behind him. It was Yo.

'Psst! Red Dog!'
Yo waved him over to the window.

'How mad is she?'

'You mean, is she Flowers Mad, Candy Mad or Jewellery Mad?'
Red Dog quipped.

Yo shook his head.

'Those categories don't work with sea. With her, it's Weapons Mad, New Toy Mad or Revenge Mad. As you can probably guess, even trying to make it up to her by buying weapons can be dangerous. And you really don't want her revenge mad.'

Both men jumped as sea threw the door open. Yo hit the deck, expecting the worst.

sea raised an eyebrow at Red Dog.

'If that was who I know it probably was, tell him I'm New Toy mad, and he'd better make it good or I'll quickly progress to Revenge mad. Please, come this way.'

Red Dog threw a sympathetic look at Yo before following sea into her office.

What on earth does Red Dog want? What does Yo's penance for making sea New Toy Mad entail? Find out next week!


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