The Free Fox Tac-Ops
Created | Updated Feb 26, 2002
( HQ )--( Armoury )--( Members )
The Third Way
Fed up of the eternal bickerings of the cat faction and the dog faction?
Looking for a cause with more high explosives?
Perhaps you just want to show off the magnificence of your brush.
Whatever your reason, the Free Fox Tac-Ops will open up a whole new world of covert excitement. We pride ourselves on being the best. Note we do not say the best at what. That is classified information. As our motto runs:
"There are nails. There are titanium nails. There are especially hard titanium nails. Then there is the FFTO"
Congratulations! You've passed the first test!
Don't get too cocky. The first test was finding your way here. The second test is to come into the back room without tripping over the step. Well done on that, too. I expect you're wondering exactly what benefits you will enjoy from a tour of duty in the FFTO? No? You should. We offer open access to our extensive armoury, packed to the rafters with high-tech gadgetry and boom-sticks. Those of us with theta clearance can also gain access to our secret Black Arts Institute, where we cook up the most potent weapons for our arsenal. We teach you our secret handshake, and upon leaving us you will receive a generous pension.
Here are the Rules
We do have standards. All enlisted foxes must follow this code of conduct:
- Work only for hard cash. All proceeds will go to our central fund. Bringing home the bacon is a sure-fire way to gain respect and promotion.
- Attack legitimate targets only. Civilian casualties must be avoided. Accept no contract that will imperil the relatively blameless.
- Use force only in defence. Our remit is limited to humiliation, sabotage, and espionage. Weapons are only for personal protection.
- Obey continuity.
- Play fair. No "I destroy you, because I'm powerful". We must leave ourselves targets for the future.
- No spitting.
We also have fun
Popular pastimes include:
- Throwing rubber mice into the Curiositizer.
- Role-playing games.
- Dressing captives up in pink straight-jackets and giving them a five minute headstart across country.
Auxilliaries
We are an equal-opportunity employer. We accept any applicant regardless of gender, species or status. Our current roster of divisions is as follows:
- Commando Foxes specialise in daring solo raids.
- Voluptuous Vixens. We wheel out these valkyries for special occasions.
- Tactical Newts are our riggers, sappers and deckers.
- Navy Seals are our naval division.
Sign here
So you want to join? Good on you. Your induction pack is in the post.
