Writing Right with Dmitri - Old Tales Retold

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Writing Right with Dmitri: Old tales Retold

Editor at work.

What do these books have in common?

  • Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister
  • Wicked
  • Lady Macbeth's Daughter
  • Cinder

You know the answer: they are all re-imaginings of classic tales. You can do that, you know. You can take an old story, and make it new again. Better yet, you can make it yours, by adding a little magic of your own.

Is this plagiarism? Nope. Not if the story's a classic. If you work on contemporary matter, it's called 'fan-fic'. But public domain is fair game. Writers have been doing it for years.

Mind you, I recently got a huge chuckle out of Stephen Colbert. He referred to the Book of Mormon as 'Bible fan-fic'. I could just imagine what Joseph Smith would have to say about that. But people having been re-telling Bible tales for donkey's years. After all, most of the stories in the Bible are retold versions of older, oral tales. That Flood story? Try ancient Mesopotamia. Although in the original, they had a more conventional boat.

Do you have a favourite folktale? Try retelling it in modern form. Think about the story. What bothered you when you first heard it? Did you have unanswered questions? Such as, why didn't Little Red Riding Hood just call Animal Control? Start from there, and build on it.

An Idea for You

Christmas is coming up, and you've probably got small people to entertain. Why not refit a fairy tale for them? Alternatively, rework one in a more adult fashion for your favourite reader. I'll come up with a shortlist of suggestions, just to get the ball rolling.

  • Rapnuzel, as an advert for hair-care products.
  • Jack and the Beanstalk, as a noir detective story.
  • The Three Little Pigs, rewritten to be Politically Correct.
  • A selkie story, redone as an environmentally-friendly fable.
  • Anything by Aesop, retold by an East Ender.
  • A Bible story reset in your favourite city.

You get the idea. Well, in case you don't, here's the immortal Stan Freberg's classic retelling of an epic British legend. Now, top that, writers.

And share with us! We're up for a good fireside tale.

Washington, DC, Besieged by Jazz Fundamentalists

Dateline: Washington, DC.

Reuters reports that the US capital is under siege by activists calling themselves the Jazz Old Style Hierarchy for Upholding Art. These musical terrorists have surrounded the White House in response to reports that President Barack Obama had deleted John Coltrane from his iPod.

The trumpeters have vowed to march around the Presidential mansion, playing Dixieland tunes, until 'the White House falls down, or the Prez stops dissing Coltrane,' whichever comes first.

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has come out against JOSHUA, grumbling, 'These people are just brass-valve terrorists. Besides, their High C's are disturbing the President's dog.'

Update: Washington, DC.

This just in: A possible break in the musical siege of the White House. Against the advice of distraught Secret Service operatives, President Obama has left the West Wing, and met with members of JOSHUA, the jazz activist group, in the Rose Garden.

White House observers note that this meeting is historic. This is the first time a sitting US President has met with jazz musicians since a piano-pounding Harry Truman held an all-night jam session in the Oval Office in 1948.

President Obama is reported to have told JOSHUA, 'Look, it wasn't my fault. I put my iPod in my back pocket, and accidentally butt-deleted Coltrane. I love the guy, man! I'm getting the album back, just as soon as my daughter explains the data retrieval system to me.'

Experts are praising the President for his quick-thinking response to a national crisis – but the IT industry is criticising him for being such a 'techno-weenie'.

'Al Gore would have known better,' was one comment.

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