Current Quotes and Leaderboard

Leaderboards: JulyAugustSeptember

30/09/2012: First Whirled problems. - Baron Grim

24/09/2012: Oi! As a Silhilian I greatly resent that remark! - Elentari

20/09/2012: Winter? Does that mean that its now the discount of the summer tents? - 2legs

18/09/2012: I actually needed a long sleeved shirt under my strait-jacket. - psychocandy

17/09/2012: You don't have to wean LEds; they're manufactured. - Happy Nerd

14/09/2012: I had a lucky pebble once. I used to take it with me everywhere. Then one day while at the seaside I accidentally dropped it. I searched and I searched but couldn't find it. My lucky pebble is still out there, somewhere. - Stone Aart

13/09/2012: Well, a velodrome is the wrong place to look for a level playing field! - KB

12/09/2012: Postbox spotting is very useful for recording the growth of towns and cities, as they usually increase in age as you get nearer the centre, thereby indicating growth 'rings' as the population expands outwards. - atinythorn

10/09/2012: "Cork experienced its worst summer since records began in 1962."


Good job it floats... - Mu Beta

09/09/2012: I get the distinct feeling that reading this article/review of the book, is probably a far more enjoyable read than that which one would get, from reading the actual book itself... - 2legs

07/09/2012: Moving the earth, no levers needed. Back in 1969, fixing a thread to the moon would mean that we could be pulling on it. - Rod

05/09/2012: The little old lady sat next to him, bless her, turned and offered him a paper hankie saying "Would like a hanky dear, or are you going to continue to be a disgusting pig?" - Pastey

04/09/2012: I remember when storms didn't have social media pages of their own. - Evangeline

03/09/2012: Never mind that panther in the Cotwolds. Just lock the door and turn on the Discovery Channel. - Dmitri Gheorgheni

02/09/2012: D'ye know, I find it hard to believe that there are so many of ye that simply don't know these universal truths. - Rod

30/08/2012: I tried a bit of walking, ... when i tried to walk i kinda took a proper step, well a few as with help i walked away from my chair 4 steps (ish) then back again, and that was after 3 cans - Prof junior

28/08/2012: D'ya know I seriously doubt there is a site anywhere else in the interweb world that could discuss in depth something as random, but instantly recognisable to so many people as this. - winnoch2

27/08/2012: A driver was suddenly met by a moose in the middle of the road. Luckily he managed to avoid hitting Northern Europe’s largest land animal - only to crash into a bear... - Pierce The Pirate

26/08/2012: Caribbean Hut event catering for some Curry Goat with rice and peas. It seemed the most appropriate food to have while listening to Toots and The Maytalls play the main stage at Beautiful Days 2012 - Phil

24/08/2012: Yeah, 11 years to become an "overnight success" and then another 18 touring and albums. - Pastey

23/08/2012: Well you first need to discombobulate the running triddles and untether the gimbles. By then you're three quarters of the way. - Orcus

22/08/2012: Well, obvious favourites would be rioja, cava, and una mas. - Beatrice De'Ath

21/08/2012: And what's more, the carnage could all have been avoided if Barack Obama had shown us his birth certificate sooner. - KB

19/08/2012: Mind, I do have a database of my clothes, that's bad isn't it? - 2legs

18/08/2012: A new series of Dallas Are you sure it wasn't a dream? - Bluebottle

17/08/2012: If the Olympics hadn't been on, I'm pretty sure the frankly incredible landing of the Curiosity rover would have been pretty imagination catching. - Hoovooloo

16/08/2012: ...but my brother and his family had a great time at the sailing. They just camped and watched from a vantage point. - Effers

15/08/2012: I've eaten rat, it was quite nice. - Pastey

14/08/2012: I've recently acquired sock-sorters. They're actually quite handy. - TRiG

13/08/2012: No angels danced. They didn't dare. - Happy Nerd

12/08/2012: ...the chap who gave me my patdown asked what fragrance I was wearing... - HonestIago

11/08/2012: ...one set aside specifically for Dysons which was always nearly full. - swl

10/08/2012: Stadium, cranes, and something that looks like a helter-skelter with a bad hair day. - Trillian's Child

09/08/2012: What noise does your Geiger counter of Olympomania make?


I believe that Boris Johnson's goes zoink! - Geggs

08/08/2012: I am going to support the games properly. When I get home I'm putting out McDonalds and Coca-Cola flags. - Pink Paisley

07/08/2012: with the smartphone - as ReddyFreddy always used to say: why take two bottles into the shower with you. - Sho

06/08/2012: Diving! That's just reminded me of the last Olympic games... Sho gave a very erudite commentary on divers' biceps. - KB

05/08/2012: ...my right buttock has swollen up to a size Beyonce would be proud of. - Mol

04/08/2012: It has been some time since I was last on Hootoo regularly & the first time I've noticed the option to tinker with the on-screen theme.
I like Pliny with its dolphins; very tasteful. However, I've reverted to good old Brunel for the time being. It's what I'm used to here & having been away for a while, I crave the familiar. - Liftliker

03/08/2012: I fixed it. (I was using a hammer instead of a sonic screwdriver.) - Dmitri Gheorgheni

02/08/2012: She was just standing there - in the tray - squirting forth, or may be squirting backforth (only backforth isn't a real word!)


I didn't think little girls could wee standing up - Rosie

01/08/2012: Nudity is natural; the British climate isn't. - quotes

31/07/2012: While we were in a shop today I saw a doorstop in the shape of a character from a beloved 1960's childrens TV series. I picked it off the shelf, held it in my hands, and then let go so that it would fall to the floor.


My wife looked at me somewhat puzzled. "I dropped a Clanger", I explained. - Geggs

30/07/2012: I'm guessing that as you're *Mr* 603, you're a man and *Mrs* 603 is a woman.


Which makes it very easy.


You just say "We're not getting a dog".


There. Problem solved No need to thank me. - swl

29/07/2012: Muggins here would end up walking it, so that won't put her off. And I'm not too mithered by rain.


That's a point actually. We're in Greater Manchester, so any dog we get would need to be all-terrain and waterproof.


We'd probably be better with a seal. - Mr603

28/07/2012: I do note with wry amusement that the post about eating your keyboard followed one of my posts. I seem to be leading you into these things. - Geggs

27/07/2012: Listening to the sound bites from Parliament was like an episode of Twenty Twelve, the BBC's brilliant satire of Olympic planning that has recently been playing here on the Comedy channel. Oh what a fine line between the dry comedy of TV satire and the comedy of Real Life. - ~ jwf ~

26/07/2012: Space, the final frontier - until you come to h2g2 - Nosebagbadger

25/07/2012: I see among the flood warnings is one for the Dog-in-a-Doublet Sluice in East Anglia.

http://www.environment-agency.gov.u...TLN&page=2&type=Region&term=Anglian


Clearly a spoof. Dogs haven't worn doublets here since the 16th Century. - Icy North

24/07/2012: Of all the cities I've never been to, Istanbul is the one I know the best. - Gnomon

23/07/2012: Watching mummy control a giant lizard who crushes its enemies skulls with a huge axe might not be the world's greatest introduction to video games. - Vip

22/07/2012: "accentually" told midwife i hated her when she told me it was too late for pain killers.... - Dr Anthea

21/07/2012: Rain, rain and little bit of more rain here.


Thankfully I live on a hill. Might have a moat later, mind. - Magwitch

20/07/2012: I hear Rangers have been in talks with the English FA.



Unfortunately, nobody can make out a word they're saying. - swl

19/07/2012: Yup, I dyed my hair brown once, to make me more intelligent and trustworthy. - Lanzababy

18/07/2012: Ha, I was too late! - Bel

17/07/2012: Somewhere in the murky depths of this site there is also a thread on Mumspeak. You know - things like "If you break your leg, don't come running to me!" - Trillian's Child

16/07/2012: Now consider myself a Lovecraftian Deist. - Mr. Dreadful

15/07/2012: I still have to get used to the fact that if I pull the breaks just a bit too much the bike stops dead - that never happened with my old bike. - Bel

And: I heard the British Geological survey picked it up. You scored 1.3 on the Richter Scale. - Icy North

14/07/2012: 2legs, I don't think fire juggling is an appropriate hobby for a blind person. - Gnomon

13/07/2012: That's what I enjoy most about this place. You can make an honest mistake, safe in the knowledge that people won't fall about laughing and embarrass you over it. - Icy North

12/07/2012: In a recent conversation with a fellow researcher, the idea of a h2g2 motto was raised. Obviously we have "Don't Panic", and over the years other ones have come to the fore, especially "Last one to the bar picks up the tab"


However, what would the motto for our motley crew be? - Pastey

11/07/2012: Oh I was hoping for a Wirral V Cheshire flame war.. - Z

10/07/2012: Our old friend Cleverbot fooled 59% of 1334 people last September. (The same people only identified humans as humans 63% of the time. I suspect they were using either geeks or Californians. Personally, I can't tell those people from AI, either.) - Dmitri Gheorgheni

09/07/2012: Stairlift to Heaven

She's got a Buspass to Ride

Radio Saga - Beatrice De'Ath

08/07/2012: We had a ceilidh for the end of the set dancing class yesterday. I survived 3 1/2 hours of dancing with no incident, but was simply walking across the dance floor when I fell flat on my face and bruised both my knees. - Malabarista

07/07/2012: My first impression is that this isn't really very comfortable, and in certain dangly, sitting down from standing situations, a chap could find himself arangementally compromised and have a 'squeezing accident'.


I am going to be very careful for the rest of the day. - Pink Paisley

06/07/2012: "What do we want?"

"A latte and a croissant!"

"When do we want them?"

"About four-ish?" - Hoovooloo

05/07/2012: *enters stage left*



Woe!


Woe!


And thrice, Woe! I've forgot me bloody lines *exit stage right* - lil

04/07/2012: Either way, I would be first to put my hand in my pocket to buy us a beer and than be frustrated (but not for very long) that I hadn't offered first. - Pink Paisley

03/07/2012: thank bob for preview - Priscilla Queen of the Dessert would be a whole other show! - deb

02/07/2012: I don't think we keep a track of what're the most used smilies, but it might be possible to find out. - Pastey

01/07/2012: That's why I'm a) fat, b) always late and c) spent most of my teenage years single. - Mr603