Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O.er C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild.A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D..then again S.N.A.F.U.

.Welcome.to.smiley - .Profs.smiley - .Space..BUT!smiley - you'll need a psychiatrist after reading it!smiley - .


WelcomeHope you have a spare week, it's a long way down to the bottom of here.....Also, please wipe your feet, I've just had carpet tiles cleaned,as you can see!...Thank you

Same.S.Just.A.Different.Day.
The task of gathering literature of merit
Roving Jester and Prof above! Borrowed and adapted from Ictoan.


My P/S views better in BRUNEL than "pliny" at the moment - use BRUNEL
        
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
         
Borrowed from ARGON0 (press here)



   See which HooToo'ers are on-line, by Name    



My P/S views better in BRUNEL than "pliny" at the moment - use BRUNEL

OI! Bring back mi Viking heritage symbol
Alien running.Alien with Viking hat.











A Yorkshireman's Motto. Hear all, See all, Say nowt, Eat all, Sup all, Pay nowt. An' if ivver tha does owt for nowt! Do it for thissen.

The Yorkshire Coat of Arms A Flea, A Fly, A Magpie, an' Bacon Flitch Ist' Yorkshermans Coit of Arms And t'reason they've chozzen these things so rich Is becoss they hav'all speshal charms. A Flea will bite whoivver it can-- An soa, my lads, will a Yorksherman! A Fly will sup with Dick, Tom or Dan An' soa, by gow! will a Yorksherman! A Magpie can talk for a terrible span -- An' soa an all, can a Yorksherman. A Flitch is no gooid whol its hung, ye'll agree No more is a Yorksherman, don't ye see..


Born 'n' Bred in Yorkshire - an' proud on'it!
Ok then! You can have it for 10/- BUT! CASH only! no cheques
Alien looking for his Vikin hat.Alien with Viking hat.





Below! is as good as a typical Yorkshireman's attitude ! We spake as we see it ! I can't help about the shape I'm in I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs are thin But don't ask me what I think of you I might not give the answer that you want me to (part of lyrics from Fleetwood Macs - Oh Well)






Alien looking for his Vikin hat.Alien with Viking hat.
10/- mmm! Deal!







Regular amendments in progress.Well,as daft stuff enters my head that is.

Animal's thought for today...tomorrow and beyond..
All the WORLD might crumble in to depression, BUT MY little patch of ground SHALL never succumb,I WILL always be ROCK SOLID ....Standing firm along side any FRIEND in support!

I have everything I don't want and what I do want, I'll never be able to get

extra thought for today...tomorrow and beyond..

If a singlesmiley - could take your pains away - I would STILL send you a millionsmiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - 's.
I haven't got the power of god yet to mend ills - BUT I'm working on it! "even more so now!"
Yellow things: a Care Bear beneath the sun. By Cheeky Monkey.

Alien with Viking hat.
I love been a Yorkshire man! I got him knocked down to 8/3d







Life is NOT how you make it, because you need money to make it... Life is HOW to make the best with what you have at this moment...

smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -

A Notice Board

Ever wanted to keep an Idiot occupied for hours, click the word "IDIOT" to find out how. IDIOT Bet you daren't enter.



smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -

Personal Space overflow -(press here to journey onward)or the bits about me.

smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -

This site has been earmarked for future development...A Multi story Mental Asylum. My beds booked! 2nd - 4th - 9th and penthouse floor's


My Milestone Posts On The Yikes Thread

smiley - strawberrysmiley - strawberrysmiley - strawberrysmiley - strawberrysmiley - strawberrysmiley - strawberrysmiley - strawberrysmiley - strawberrysmiley - strawberry

- Prof Animal Chaos 8TH In The Yikes 100,000 Post Game -
Yorkshire Rules
I Am Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O.er C.E.Idiot of H2G2 whoever is looking at this page will see their name here








THE I’VE BEEN YIKED!
BUT it wasn’t me! It was a big kid and he’s run off! Honest mister he did
BADGE



Y o u ' r e
N i c k e d !

After eating an entire bull, a lion felt that good he started roaring quite loud. He continued until a hunter heard,saw and then shot him! The moral is: When you're so full of bull, keep your mouth shut!!!!!!!!!!!!


Beware of Wolves in Sheep's clothing! Even a sweet smelling rose has thorns.


The words Don't Panic, written in large, friendly letters.

Then again! why not! go on PANIC!



Something to bring a little sunshine to you if maybe you are having a cloudy day Click here for the Llama(sound on)

Test for those still Brainy No.3
A Genius will work this one out, I can't smiley - No.7


The Classic Goo monster in an h2g2 T shirt
DON'T worry about tomorrow. After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!



smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -


smiley - flyingpigsmiley - flyingpigI have the Eccentric bitsmiley - flyingpigjust the smiley - flyingpigMillionaire bit missingsmiley - flyingpigsmiley - flyingpig
smiley - flyingpigsmiley - flyingpigMy fortune is duesmiley - flyingpig any day nowsmiley - flyingpig it's flying in shortlysmiley - flyingpigsmiley - flyingpig

smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -



This PERSONAL SPACE is The Prof's Official dumping ground for anyfeeling off colour,sadness and or depression.They have no power here...SEE! how small and insignificant they are.They HAVE to be left here when you leave and they WILL be terminated,never to return.Rule No1: Obey Prof Animal.Leave them here and take with you a SMILE instead..Don't need a rule No2:

Right! now as you can see, the sadness molecules are black and grey. I remove those, with the Prof's [anti negative defence cream[A.N.D.C.]]leaving a nice happy smiling atom cluster(Read about...A.N.D.C. press here)








smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -




Well after a long debate with myself and I won, I've decided to put an EMail address on here. So if you wish to contact me, you are welcome,let me know. But please be patient,you will not be put on hold or press 1 for this and press 2 for that.so here it is!. Please do not abuse it...Thank you.
prof(dot)a(dot)chaos hat gmail dot com
Err! it wont play Mozart 40 either,or play crazy frog...

STAR WARS day! ....May the 4th be with you...

Just because there's bats in the belfrey, doesn't mean to say I'm......but! then again .....You'll be able to make your own mind up and come to a conclusion.






Artificial Intelligence is NO match for Natural Stupidity.
Insanity is not an illness to me, it's a Profession smiley -







Prognatus idiot - Ago idiot - Intereo idiot...

smiley - biggrinClick here for MUSIC TO MY EARS! Bohemian Rhapsody - Muppet Style.






My psychiatrist says I’m getting better, but I’m having my doubts about him – because HE is seeing a psychiatrist now





(Press Here to view Prof under the skin so to say)


smiley - biggrinClick here for The Prof's namesake



ANIMAL. He who is a THINGUMMIE THINGITE THINGY THING to the WOTSIT.

Keeper of the Notice and Notice II(the update) and Words that do not Exist. see the NOTICE (press here)
see NOTICE II(press here)
see Notice, it ain't got a name yet!(press here)
see the Advanced Notification of a sorts (press here)

have ye the will power and daring ??





A H2G2 FOOLS GUILD
˜INMATE
˜


Art thou a fool?.Do you wish to be a fool?, or art thou a fool already, then your are half way there. But do you YEARN to be a FOOL, HANKER to be able to act DAFT, LONG to show others your MIRTH and MERRIMENT. Then look no further than THE FOOLS GUILD, feel free to wander its pages and to add your own personal WIT, by joining us.(see lower down)
Welcome to the H2G2 OFFICIAL FOOLS GUILD. (Press Here,we're in the countryside of the world of H2G2)
(Press Here,for main introduction and joining page)


The H2G2 FOOLS GUILD
˜ ˜ ˜
A phone book
˜ ˜ ˜
"Ring Here for the Men in White Coats!"


Senior Fools

PositionFools
Lord High Fool smiley - jesterJoe C
Total Fool smiley - clownsmiley - jesterProf Animal Chaos(Full blown idiot 24/7)
Complete Fool smiley - sillyBLT (Oblivious Fool)
Arch Fool smiley - somersaultAnthea (Court Fool)
Stupid Fool smiley - nahnahKat ('Special with a capital R' Fool)
Tomfool smiley - tongueoutLittleMissFordPrefect (Strawberry Fool)

Fools-general


PositionFools
Fool smiley - weirdWonko (Wonko Fool)
Khamsinsmiley - rofl (Insane Fool)
ButtDoctor Unscrupulous (Blundering Fool)
Watermusic (Garden Fool)
Uncle Bob (Complete Fool)
AK (Dark Fool)
DupeLuckybluestar (Stupid Fool)
al_k_holic (Drunken Fool)
Master B (Gibbering Fool)
fujimar (smiley - sheep)
GullEmmily (Error Making Fool)
Terri and Yoda (Not a gooseberry)
Laudatortemporisacti (Aloof Fool)
MugginsBold Ferret (Destroyer of Tuesday Fool)
Ping (Water Fool)
Black Leopard (smiley - sheep)
Merrymoon (Foolishly Foolish Fool)
arrietty42 (Simple Fool)

Links to H2G2 Fool's Guild Threads(press the blue)
smiley - jestersmiley - jestersmiley - jesterThe Lord High Fools Officesmiley - jestersmiley - jestersmiley - jester
smiley - sheepsmiley - blacksheepsmiley - sheepThe Sheeps Roomsmiley - blacksheepsmiley - sheepsmiley - blacksheep

smiley - clownsmiley - clownsmiley - clownThe Most Foolish Room of Allsmiley - clownsmiley - clownsmiley - clown
smiley - smiley - In a Cornersmiley - smiley -

smiley - jestersmiley - jestersmiley - jesterThe Gardensmiley - jestersmiley - jestersmiley - jester
smiley - clownsmiley - clownsmiley - clownThe Turnip's Quarterssmiley - clownsmiley - clownsmiley - clown


smiley - smiley - The Bouncy Normo Memorial fridge - Affiliated to the Fools Guild
smiley - smiley -

Guild Badges(this table)

  • Lord High Fool: smiley - jester
  • Complete Fool: smiley - silly
  • Arch Fool: smiley - somersault
  • Stupid Fool: smiley - nahnah
  • Tomfool: smiley - tongueout
  • Fool: smiley - weird
  • Sheep: smiley - sheep
  • Clown: smiley - clown
  • Juggler: smiley - footinmouth
  • Bloody Fool: smiley - rofl




Name and U-number: Preferred Foolish Title: (see table above for examples) :join and be proud to be a FOOL
Fools Guild Member's Names and Membership Numbers1.LittleMissFordPrefect * scfitu * KoRCS * PS of the ....* 2. Master B Come and play Phantasy Phootball 2005-06 A4457739 3. Emmily~Diva.. (Ace/Guru/Scout/Human ;-)) ~ I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. ;) 4.Dr Anthea - ACE / Artist (Falice Enlen)(Alicia Brmyn) 5. Terri and Yoda, cheese box creators extraordinaire (ferrets and mandolins a speciality.) 6.Joe C (Sub) 7.Kat (scouting for you)-Visit Peer Review to Help Entries into the Edited Guide 8. Wøñkø †hë |ñšåñê 9.AK - fancy that! 10.Doc U 11. Captain Khamsin "The Assassins A1123372" 12.BLT: Not dead - yet 13.Watermusic 14. Uncle_Bob - Back In Black 15. luckybluestar 16. Laudatortemporisacti... Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end. 17.Fenrir the bad wolf / black leopard / lemming - Head of the Restite Knights and Honarary Protector of Tuesday 18.al_k_holic 19.FUJIMAR 20.Prof Animal Chaos..creator of the Notice and Notice 2..insane,but readable 21.Bold Ferret - God of Three Sided Squares, Helium Filled Lemmings and A Slightly Bent Teaspoon 22. Ping 23. merrymoon 24. arrietty42 25. spawn of grinch (leni) 26. EvilAl (Penguat) m 27.Taamyu 28.Zaphob 29.Dr Megabite 30.Fireproofraven 31.Miz.www 32.Plasticrockchick-Queen of the Fire 33.Miraculousrandomness 34.Ducky. Chief CPU.CEO 35.Rockcheekychimp50001 36.MasterShelly2 37.Fizzymouse 38.Mazinmadfiddler 39.My-Favorite-Fornia 40.Fluffykefuffle 41.Thinker 42. Douglas Noel Adams = H2G2 founder - this number is dedicated to him. 43.Minicheesemouse 44.R4Registry 45.Kipperonthefloor 46.Big_Brother-1337 47.Terran 48.Gandalfstwin 49.Persephone 50.Haragai

H2G2 FOOLS GUILD
˜Member No:20
˜
"Prof Animal Chaos"


Or here! our rest home!!!! The H2G2 Asylum(Press Here)


Do you ever question your life! Do you ever wonder why! Do you ever see in your dreams, all the castles in the sky!

Nahnah Chase me!! smiley - bikersmiley - bikersmiley - devilsmiley - bluelightsmiley - bikersmiley - bikersmiley - skullsmiley - bluelightsmiley - bikersmiley - bikersmiley - bluelightsmiley - devilsmiley - bikersmiley - biker
(Welsh Celtic) "Adwaenir dyn wrth ei gyfeillion" "A man is recognised by the friends he keeps"





Rules are made for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.


some of my PHILOSOPHIES, but not in any order
No1: Everybody is my friend, until they prove different. No2: The pleasure of giving, is its own reward.smiley - No3: Insulting people, is not a way of life. No4: I treat all insults as compliments, that way I get more. No5: I never try to be anyone other than me. No6: Be true and loyal to close friends, one day you may need to count on them. No7: Manners cost nothing, so why hasn't more people got them. No8: Do everything in my power, to cheer people up, if their down. No9: Always look to the front, to see what you can learn..Only look to the back, to see what you have forgotten. No10: Always laugh at life,because life can be a bit of a bugger otherwise. No11: Everything that I do in life, I do in good faith, not to harm or insult. No12: Death can't stop me from being an idiot, it can only slow me down. No13: Sadness is just another part of life.BUT! it will never be part of mine. No14: Each friend I gain, makes me a RICHER person, far greater than having money. No15: May the WOLF run as free on the ground, as the EAGLE flies in the air and may MANKIND learn to live as one, denouncing HATRED. No16: Don't think you know all the answers -.-.-ASK the questions first. No17: Just because you don't see anything, isn't proof there is nothing there. No18: I will face life head on, win or lose I will never take a step backwards No19:When the hard gets impossible! mankind! will invent an answer!. No20:Some people might be able to bend me. But! NO ONE will ever break me. No21:Wisdom is beyond price! what a shame that many can't afford even a minute amount . No22:If you can't take or listen to advice! then don't try to give it.


Using your H2G2 name, or even your real one if you wish.Therefore if you were a stripper.What would your stripper name be.(press here)to to find out.




Knock! Knock! Who's there ? Amos! Amos who ? A mosquito!


KUL SANA W'INTO SALMEEN =(Lebanese/Arabic)= {literal}every year may you be at peace

Life = 90% boring - 10% couldn't care less

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused!.{anonymous,not mine}



I'm content, but not happy!. But I'm content knowing that I will find happiness one day, and that makes me happy and content.




people say I'm in a world of my own! I'm am! But at least everyone in there knows me!


smiley - spacesmiley - spacesmiley - spacesmiley - spacesmiley - spacesmiley - space
Three glassses of beerThree glassses of beer
smiley - spacesmiley - spacesmiley - spacesmiley - space



shhhh! S.H.A.D.O.W. member, but keep it to yourself.
S.ingularly H.idden A.voidant D.enizens O.f the W.eb

A bowler hat, pipe and suit. By Community Artist Malabarista.
To join(press here)BUT! don't say nowt ok!


smiley - sporkAlso a SPORKITE, but can't find insignia/badge and there is one about.smiley - sporksmiley - sporkI have seen it on someones p/space, but can't remember where.smiley - spork



They say! money is the root of all evil. Trust me to be a good guy and be skint!!



Read The h2g2 Post



H2G2

The planet Earth.Totally and Utterly Approved Guide




This is jut a blue line with writing going across it.....This is jut a blue line with writing going across it

This is the same, but just going to other way.....This is the same, but just going to other way




Marvellous what you can come up with, when you cross n' Idiot's DNA with Pasta Macaroni




My mind not only wanders! it sometimes leaves completely!!



with age comes skills, it's called multi tasking' I can laugh, cough, sneeze, fart, and pee all at the same time


"You are what you eat" Funny- I've never been a cheese and onion crisp before












{to all believers who enter here YES! There is a Sanity Clause}
{{{smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - }}}
Dasher,Dancer,Prancer,Vixen,Comet,Cupid,Donner,Blitzen and Rudolf the red nose reindeer - OK! so they all have red noses, but Rudolf is in a identification line-up for drunk and disorderly!


Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak!





ALL WAYS WANTED ME NAME UP IN LIGHTS, NOW THERE'S NO ROOM FOR IT....ALL WAYS WANTED ME NAME UP IN LIGHTS, NOW THERE'S NO ROOM FOR IT....

...NOW SHOWING AT A CINEMA NEAR YOU...GONE WITH THE WIND.By Alf Hart..A FILM ABOUT THE HUMBLE BAKED BEAN.



A Meteor Shower


This is what it said mine was (brackets are my added comments)
You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.(usualy do,even though it can hurt someone, by telling the truth) You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.(just experience) Helping others is also important to you.(I get pleasure in giving) You enjoy social activities with that goal.(R.A.O.B. Buffalo's) You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.(expect nothing in return) Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone(very true) Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge(never run down) Your power color: Cobalt blue(favourite colour-Deep Purple) Your power symbol: Dove(all animal life) Your power month: September(all 12 are power months)



Beware of false imitations, for this magnificent, all powerful light saber was crafted by Ralph the Wonder Llama and André the dodo; Dazed and Confused and shall be used to defend those who bravely enter this domain(click his name to visit him)

My taste in music is heavy rock I.E. Led ZeppelinLed Zeppelin circa 1970s/Deep Purple andThe word'yes'in big '70's style type. Yes/ Black Sabbath/Pink Floyd/Blue Oyster Cult/Bachman Turner Overdrive, to name a few.
Not had any wheels,smiley - bike/car for years, but still a biker smiley - at heart and continue wearing leather jackets/denim/tee shirtssmiley - . Don't have a suit what so ever and don't intend to either

.



Click the Assassins badge for entry page...



The H2G2 Assassin's guild.......No195
smiley - ghost
nil mortifi sine lucure

You could die laughing or with a score of 180smiley -

the new assassins guild badge


I have a warped sense of humour - 24/7 - smiley - jester NO off switch, anything daft, can't be serious for long spells. I had a bad start in life, I've got a split personality and we're both smiley - clown stupid smiley - jester. Plus we have a non-contagious side-effect, paranoia schizophrenia:- we have a feeling we are following ourselves...........Because as far as I know, there is no other (mentality wise)relative like me in any part of my family on any side. I have come to the conclusion:- that somewhere in the past an ancestor of mine, must have been a court jester to someone of noble birth. DNA. You can't live without it........


........I'm also a member of the S.A.S.= Single and Stupid, I was in M.A.S.S.= Married and Still Stupid. But after IT! went and divorce, I'm back to S.A.S. and H.A.P.P.Y.err! just plain happysmiley - smiley.

.

I am also a member......(Bro Animal R.O.H.)(known at Grand Lodgesmiley - ) of the Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffaloes -Under the Grand Lodge of England.. R.A.O.B.

"No 'man' is at all times wise".
CLICK HERE TO SEE A LITTLE ABOUT US.



Enjoy the odd tipple, out with friends or in home. smiley - stiffdrink Whisky - Vodka - Southern Comfort.......Don't drink a lot, but house keeps moving and I only bleed 1/6th of a gill if I get cut.


Some of the molecules associated with life have been found in outer space. One of them is ALCOHOL. Astronomers have calculated that a hugh cloud in the constellation of Sagittarius contains enough ethyl alcohol to make 1028(10,000 million million million million) bottles of Whisky..Roll on Star Trek and park me next to it

Pinched or err! borrowed,just bring your own spaceship


Shuttle launch



Parking Area For Customers Only

Shuttle service extra after 3 weeks boozing, see car/shuttle driver for rates



Knock! Knock! Who's there ? Anna! Anna who ? another mosquito!






I have the greatest respect for everyone on this planet for their own PEACEFUL religious beliefs and faiths, but I myself am a Aethiest, I do not believe in any god/creator..I do not push my non belief on to others - therefore I do not want others to push their's onto me........(Atheism is a non-prophet organisation)


I can't believe in reincarnation - with my luck, I'd come back as myself



I don't want to be mega rich, I WISH for a little and I get "nothing"..I WISH for "nothing" and it comes truesmiley - smiley - That's life,but still enjoy it










When I get a little to err! carried way. My real life Friend and Mentor on hootoo, chucks cushions at me(filled with concrete),as you can see. But! this time they have missed.







Friday 10th Feb 2006 a suprize attack real life visit from lil ol' me.. ACE [Dea Ex Machina]... includingVicki Virago. ACE. *unsubbing from irritating convos*......This makes the Trilogy complete.smiley - .smiley - .smiley - .100% PUREsmiley - Having metsmiley - virtuouschuffed - I.M.M.A.C.O.R - Co Founding Member.smiley - .On a previous visit.(click their name for their P/S)





ANIMAL-THINKISM the Trilogy, part 17,episode 6,sub section 9, paragraph 12- The Road East is a long journey,if you head West first

With my full name, over the years,I got various nicknames, but non stuck. All my mates had them, not me(aw..bigger...AW)When the Muppets came on TV, a workmate said that I looked like that Animal on telly, Lo and behold it stuck, from then on 99.99% of people who know me, call me ANIMAL, so it's not a nickname,its another christian name.I also have Animal wielding an axe tattoed on my left arm, if I ever get amnesia, I can look at it and say I don't know who I am, but I must be bloody great.I put my real name into Google and in 4 seconds, it came up with 2,460,000 sites and thats only on the web. A lot of people with my name, BUT! there is only 1 Prof Animal Chaos. I tried to get it(ANIMAL that is) put on the marriage license, but the woman registrar said it could cause problems on future documents, in the same breath, she said, but for an extra £40, we can put it on a special license. My reply,was, oh for £17 you can't - but £57 you can - forget it.I even tried one time, to be entered into the "Guinness Book of Records" as Animal the world's most modest Superstar, their losssmiley - Basiclly, what you see, is what you get, NO airs or graces and in this day and age, I'm still honest and loyal..to family and friends.....That's about it, apart from that I might be poor, but I'm rich in friends and that counts far more than money......


THE PROF CHAOS came about in the early 1970’s, a friend and I were starting to put together a comedy magic illusion act, hopefully for the club circuit, to be named Doctor Mayhem and Professor Chaos, he was to be the straight man and I ! What else, but the fool! At the time, he was courting and they married, so the act didn’t get off the ground. But as you can see, the Prof lives on!.


Thinks I'll go see a doctor, I've been off colour of late. I feel a little low spirited!






My luck is that bad, if I went to Hell! for a fortnight's holiday, I'd come back without a TAN!!





If all else fails and you've struck out,be a mad romantic and say it with flowers...
BUY HER A TRIFFID



Confucius once said(I think)A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step. What is the journey of the Animal, it has downs, it has ups, questions, but no answers. But a task to be done enroute, to bring Smiles to all he meets. How long the journey, is irrelevant, for smiles take president and the answers will appear when the time is right and the end becomes the begining, to complete the full circle.


Friendship is the glue of the world and here on hootoo, I've found a lot of superglue.



smiley - My Bonnie lies over the water! My Bonnie lies over the sea!smiley - GLUG! GLUG! GLUG! Stupid woman, she can't swim

This is a black box
smiley - groan
with writing going across it.


Q=How do you stop a monkey, climbing Blackpool Tower ?
A=Take it to Scarborough




Alien with Viking hat.Alien with Viking hat.Alien with Viking hat.Alien running.
"The 3 shells" Now which one is the PEA under ?






Your still reading!Don't say you weren't warned



I'm so cool , chilled out and laid back..I walk horizontaly


smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -

Hay nother Notice Board

Life might suck! but the alternative is not wanted and is TOTALLY unacceptable.
Believe what ever you want to believe, trust what ever you want to trust, love whom so ever you want to love, but never stop believing yourself, trusting yourself, or loving yourself. You are a human being; you have a right to be here.

smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -

whilst my good friend Dr Anthea-ACE-Artist(Falice Enlen)(Alicia Brmyn)A1123372 is at UCLAN, I will take care of the turnips, they will be fed only the best whitewash.They have up to date rearing pens, with hot and cold running water/central heating(thermostatically controlled)digital radio, for heavy rock music and dimmer switch lighting (do not ask for explanations, you'll have to speak to Dr Anthea)



Don't blame me...I was wearing gloves





To boldly go, where no ANIMAL has gone before - Stardate 37 shillings, 5 washers and a bit of chewing gum,6 penneth of chips an half a sucked gobstopper,1 box of used matches, a piece of string and a used bus ticket, 3 glass marbles.Born, Hatched, dug up, or created NONE dare appear within my presense, evil spirits haven't the bottle to take me on.

I was born(open to debate), with a curvature of the spine, or as some might say mmmmm face rings a bell. I had two choices in life, curl up in a corner and hide smiley - blue, or be me.smiley - biggrinsmiley - biggrinAs a kid, I got all the insults under the sun, the humour was a defence. But from the ashes rose the Phoenix smiley - eureka, the humour became me and not a defence(or gate). When the Muppets Show hit TV, I was given the nickname ANIMAL by friends smiley - cool (seen him, you'd know why). I was a born again Idiot. smiley - nahnah I used ME as the joke smiley - jester. If I can't laugh at myself smiley - clown, then I have no right to laugh at anyone else.

If you tell a joke to someone in a wheelchair, about someone in a wheelchair, if its funny they will laugh. smiley - smileysmiley - biggrin

TOO MANY people, think that if a person looks funny or talks funny, then they be backwards/mentaly subnormal.smiley - steamsmiley - steam...WRONG look at Prof Stephen Hawkins...WE are NORMAL inside (except me of course).











Now! if I had not put any writing in here. You would be saying "Why has he put an empty box here ??




HOW TO:- rite hin gyde em hell, furstli y'who got 2 no ow too right propurlie ahnd spel has whell, hits agud hideer to ave a dikshionhairy andy 2 elp,cos udderwize peepl whil knot bee haybul too reed wot yu rite. hit olso elps 2 hav add a gud hedukatshun,,,then thay dount fink yuoar fick, hi my selff has ghot 9 'O, levhells, all nought out of undred, sow hiam brainie az welll.Yuh kan sea my skhills hat riting, eye alwhays wantted two bee a brain sureghen oar an heditor,must bee ha job hoppening sumwhare four mee. Me musht bee klevher co's hive werked hout that hiam the 'last wun two post ere' thairfour eye whin...


As usual!Stand about for hours, wait all day and 3 turn up at once, typical...
On no account should you press here!!YOU!! Had to be nosey! didn't YOU!!YOU had to see if I'd put anything in,well I have and its aBIG "NAH-NAH" and "EVIL GRIN"what a NOSEY PARKER!! you are


I just love women..Only I can't wim, only paddle.My medal for womening


I have done 4 parachute jumps, the 1st was for charity.side draft Most jumpers have two chutes, Ha! I took my own,the only problem is,that it only opens on impact smiley - ghostsmiley - ghost.PS.that is not me...I was close to splatting the ground.see journal entry(press here)

Official Pythonist{ The h2g2 Monty Python Fan (Pythonist) Society}
Here be a link(above)that ye press if thou wanteth to join the Monty Python Society---and answer these questions three--What is your name--What is your favourite colour and What is the wing speed of the swallow


Suicide is for life,NOT just for Christmas. Me.Nah. would never contemplate it. TOO NOSEY, might miss something.




smiley - zensmiley - zensmiley - zensmiley - zenQuestion.If I could be anyone, who would I be-Answer:-its easy, ME(but physically normal preferred) , I do not hate or get jealous of anyone, I've no greed, I can converse at any level, young to elder on most subjects. I AM at peace with myself(more or less), what more can a Animal ask.smiley - zensmiley - zensmiley - zensmiley - zenAuroras

My aim in life is to get people to smile,I will do what ever it takes and if I have to be a idiot to do it, then so be it. smiley - zenI WOULD BAN FROWNING FROM ALL PUBLIC PLACES.....smiley - zen



My thanks to Captain Khamsin and his automatic 42-ism calculator, my 42-ism is:-10+4-6+17*2=42.



Always wondered why my head hurts, now I know,its with thinking



PS.This took over various minutes of my serious side,I now need a couple of big smiley - stiffdrinks like this nice cool Vodka or a smooth single malt





JUST IN CASE, of alien visitations,I armed with lasers and photon torpedo's I'm also a SCI-FI nut -all Star Trek's (Me transmitte sursum, caledoni) - Stargate SG1 and Atlantis. Babylon 5. Red Dwarf(Smeg!). Andromeda. Firefly(even though they only made 14 episodes){except the "new" Enterprise series} - plus most SCI-FI programs and films, oldies and new ones




Universe adapted from Avenging Washcloth's P/Space

..smiley - .smiley - smiley - smiley - .smiley - ..smiley - .smiley - smiley - . The answer is out there!!







The answers could be deep within your dreams,so let your imagination out for an airing and behold the visions, that are out of the reach of reality.



Abnormal service will be resumed as soon as possible, but don't bank on it.The straight jacket isn't working loose yet
Its great to be smiley - baty, try it BE DAFT,CO'S IF IT FEELS GOOD,DO IT
My Nonsense song. Fish swim the mountains Camels walk the sky Pigs climb up custard tree's this I wonder why ? sing a song of nonsense never mind the verse sing a song of nonsense just smell those lovely words Tree's play chess with Pigeons while dominoes make mud pies some Ants will play the tuba this I wonder why? chorus! A turnips made a great big dam an ocean learns to fly Caterpillars can drive a bus this I wonder why? chorus! I don't know why I'm singing this some chimneys start to cry I'm on my way to a loonie bin this I wonder why? chorus!

And if you have noticed the NOTICE in 'my journal', please don't bring it to my notice, but by all means bring it to notice of others in case they haven't noticed the notice, that you indeed have noticed.So you would be doing a service, informing them of the notice,but I noticed the notice as I was writing the notice.I also bring to your notice, that there is now a notice II to notice, which is unlike the first notice you noticed. Unless, you noticed notice II firstThanks
see the NOTICE (press here)
see NOTICE II(press here)
see Notice, it ain't got a name yet!(press here)
see the Advanced Notification of a sorts (press here)





smiley - nahnahSO THE MEN IN WHITE COATS HAVEN'T CAUGHT ME YETsmiley - nahnahARE WE INTERESTED - NO WAYsmiley - nahnahsmiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -



Please meet my braincell, he is lonely and looking for a mate, he wants to start a family and populate the vacant space inside my head,he has 9 'O' levels--all nought out of hundred. He has been to university,13 yr course in a sample jar.Used to have a part-time job,as a Full Stop. any female braincell wishing to apply, must have a degree in stupidity, a clever one would not work, the DNA would not be compatable and she must be a good looker, he has taste you know....




Above all,stand straight and be proud of who and what you are. indigenous Aystralian manYour outside colour means nothing- YOUR BLOOD IS STILL RED. LIVE IN PEACE
Give a THOUGHT for those in the world, who are NOT allowed to have THOUGHTS of their own.






Well! I've been sat in this tank for years and it still doesn't work,haven't come up with one idea, can't think of a thing!!.Apart from the water has gone cold.



Knock! Knock! Who's there ? Ella! Ella who ? Hell another mosquito!




If you start gibberingDon't blame me, you carried on reading.


Just in case your bored and got nothing to do for a week or so, these are some of my journal entries.(click on them to go there)
Extreme headbanging-Prof style
Insight into Animalthinkism
Sometime BC
A Case for Inspector Gasgonnoff Isnoton(A Mystery to baffle the greatest minds)
Dungeon Sentence for the Prof

The Untouchables were a special part of the police force in America at the time of the prohibition, they were led by agent Elephant Ness and the top bad guy was a gangster called Al Caprawn, lots of shooting with tommy guns and car chases.....NO disrespect to Americans.





eyebrows and eyesI'm not here! right!, the men in white coats, you haven't seen me for weeks, in fact you don't know me,it was my twin( the money/bribe is in the post..)

Some thoughts of Chairman Animal.:- Life is but a mere rut, in which from birth to death you strive to get out of... Life is the stepping stone between the diamentions of time... Why does the thought of living, destroy life.Yet the thought of dying makes one strive to live... In the interest of humanity, in the thirst for knowledge, to the depths of jealousy and greed. Man has to kill, then when the time of dying appears, why does he struggle... The language of life is hereditory, yet countless millions are born unable to speak it... Peace is an illusion-Chaos is reality... I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant...







I have been granted by the KEEPER of the KEEPERS, (who, is this dear lady!)
Emmily ~ Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years
AND therefore by royal decree
smiley - magicthe post of:-
KEEPER of THE NOTICE and WORDS THAT DO NOT EXIST
A post that I will HONOUR and hold him and cuddle him and squeeze him and love him and call him GEORGE.(Nah! that's a Bugs Bunny saying)





Don't mind me, just passing through.



Life on this planet is nearly always on a downer, read the newspapers- bad news, television news programs, usualy bad news. Bad news makes money, very little good news gets coverage. So my brain (which is out of my control) thinks in a lateral state..I just can not help but see fun-humour in everything. Bad is no good to me or anyone, I do not have the powers to change that. But I have the power within me, to bring a SMILE and a bit of cheer to people. There by, one small dot on this planet will always be in happy mode, visit anytime......




now back way my on just,look a had(in reverse)

------------------------------Go on, pick a card, any card but don't show me. Now put it back in the pack and shuffle and the card you picked IS THE---------------------------------------------------------I'm not that good yet



A great man once said:- wing long yammbo phutt grouble yonk narg narg fishle sog yik yik slurge gedge. He was drunk at the time...


smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - House trained fishies-don't need a tank.


SPORKITE'S RULE OK!!
smiley - pie and chips. A smiley - in the road. Don'tsmiley - until yoursmiley - en to. smiley - scratchings. Don't smiley - with your mouth full smiley - lightning kills. Don't muttersmiley - clearly. White man speak with smiley - ed tongue. Roastsmiley - and apple sauce. smiley - and Mindy -U/S TV program. Na Noo Na Noo. You can wipe that sillysmiley - off your face mi lad. Tell me love, CAN you tellsmiley - from butter. Dynasty and southsmiley - U/S TV programs. There's no smiley - without fire. Is that pure Vulcan logic Mr smiley - . Roast beef and smiley - shire pudding. smiley - eye and Trapper John. M.A.S.H. Careful, you'llsmiley - somebodies eye out with that. Sparrowsmiley - . Bird of prey. smiley - upine. An animal with sharp spines. Garden rake,pitchsmiley - and trowel Asmiley - Asmiley - ,my kingdom for asmiley - ..Richard the Third. Bugs Bunny,Daffy Duck and smiley - y the pig. May the smiley - be with you Luke.Star Wars Throwing Sporks: smiley - sporksmiley - sporksmiley - sporksmiley - skullsmiley - runsmiley - skullsmiley - sporksmiley - sporksmiley - sporksmiley - run
smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -
smiley - right back "to me this minute".smiley - ..Everly Brothers These boots were made forsmiley - ing and that's just what they'll do.smiley - ..Nancy Sinatra smiley - ing back to happiness, wumpah oh yeah ye yeah.smiley - ...Helen Shapiro smiley - on,smiley - on, with hope in your heart and you'll never smiley - alone.smiley - ..Gerry and the Pacemakers smiley - on bysmiley - ..Dionne Warwick
smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -
OK!COME ON YOU must have heard of:-Starfish-Dogfish-Angelfish-Catfish-Sea Horse-Devil fish/Manta Ray.



smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -

A scuba diver with a buoyancy control problem

smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -
Err! can't do a Dances with Wolves(I could! but it wouldn't look the samesmiley - )




A Notice Board
Some people are sick-as in poorly....... Some people are sick-as in mental illness....... Its those who are mentally sick-as in sad lives and need to inflict on others, I feel sorry for!
Verb:inflict
1. impose something unpleasant.










Hootoo folk I've met in real life..click on their name for their Personal Space Jimcracker.
Pheloxi.(A Gentleman who I shall miss most dearly)-R.I.P.smiley - MY FRIEND - 19/04/2009
T.B.Falsename.(Another Gentleman who I shall miss most dearly)-R.I.P.smiley - MY FRIEND - 16/09/2009
Littlemightyblue 2.
Galaxy Babe
ST...Pussycat
Scorpio_Witch
Mazinmadfiddler
Moonhogg + Kitty + Cheeky Monkey + Gina(Hoggy's good lady wife)
Tabitca
Gnomon
Wand'rin Star
Jollywinegums
Matodemi
Gandalfstwin-R.I.P.smiley - MY FRIEND







TB Falsename and Pheloxi
T.B. Falsename's (P/S)(seated left)
and
Pheloxi's(P/S)(seated right)







smiley - rosezendevil Terrismiley - rose




GRAVITY..The question is, did the apple fall or was it pushed, this has never been brought to task, the search for an answer remains a mystery, due to lack of eye witnesses, plus there's a good chance that their now dead anyway.




I am not-GIBBER- a mad crazy escaped-GIBBER- mental loony. I'm just a little unwell,my Psychiatrist says I'm getting better, but I have reason to doubt him,GIBBER because he's seeing a psychiatrist now.





TO ALL THE LADIES WHO READ MY SPACE, I PRESENT A...ROSE.




Somebody had to do a moon, might as well be me.



its not all toilet humoursmiley - BUT! 99.9% is though










In the world of Prof Animal Chaos nothing is planned, it appears out of the blue, the spur of the moment and the resounding call goes out...oh no, what stupid thing has he come up with this time. This reputation took years to get, it will not be given up lightly.








Being super modest,I'm sometimes amazed at my own genius, but I don't let it get to me, I'm on a higher plain than that







Musical notes surround an old green bottle.And if one green bottle should accidently fall, there'll be no green bottles and no ruddy wall, I USED AN HOWITZER








MAD COW disease and BIRD FLU don't talk rubbish,I'm a fruit bat and so am I and he is as well and STOP SNEEZING.









GEORGE, you big overgrown stupid Gecko, I told you we should have taken the lift, look how far we've to climb now.









Dare to PRESS this one!!"MANIACLE LAUGHING" !!STILL Noesy eh!!If I had £1 per pressNow! Dare you use the CODE!!CODE = "1 TFAD"to let us know you pressed



A mammoth and 
her calfKeep an eye on the planet, because these conditions will return, faster than you think







Where ever you go in the world,have a safe journey, a good time and be a Ambassador for Peace.






In theof Prof Animal Chaos, nothing is what it seems,EVEN TO ME..





smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -

Well here it is the OFFICIALsadness and depression DUMP IT box..These words and their associates now no longer existSO, off load them into the box and don't ask for them back, because once in there, they are TERMINATED for good..

smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley - smiley -









Regular upgrades always in progress.usualy daft ones . Remember SMILES look better than frowns and I've a barrow load to give-a-way and their free, please take one and be happy




Gu'day Bruce



It isn't only George that's stupid, is it Walter,you lame brain.look at the start you've given them.





Well I hope you have enjoyed your trip down hereand you are always welcome to return to the Weird World of the ANIMAL.




They're coming to take me away,Ha-haaaRemember when you ran awayand I got on my kneesand begged you not to leavebecause I'd go berserkWell...You left me anyhowand then the days got worse and worseand now you see I've goneand...They're coming to take me away Ha HaThey're coming to take me away Ho Hoto the funny farmwhere life is beautiful all the timeand I'll be happy to seethose nice young menin their clean white coatsand they're coming to take me away Ha-haaaYou thought it was a jokeand so you laughedyou laughed when I had saidthat losing you would make me flip my lidRight...You know you laughed,I heard you laughyou laughed, you laughed and laughedand then you leftBut now you know I'm utterly madand...They're coming to take me away Ha HaThey're coming to take me away Ho Hoto the happy homewith trees and flowers and chirping birdsand basket weavers who sit and smileand twiddle their thumbs and toesand they're coming to take me away Ha-haaaI cooked your foodI cleanned your houseand this is how you pay me backfor all my kind,unselfish loving deedsHah...Well you just waitthey'll find you yetand when they do they'llput you in the *SPCA, you mangy muttand...They're coming to take me away Ha HaThey're coming to take me away Ho Hoto the funny farmwhere life is beautiful all the timeand I'll be happy to seethose nice young menin their clean white coatsand they're coming to take me away Ha-haaa

Well, my friend! have you come to a final conclusion, because I'm in no doubt...... I'm as nutty as a fruit cake...........



CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT !!The human trait is :-that I have to see whatis behind that doorit might be nothing! BUT!"I Must know at all costs"The "ANIMAL" says Thank youI hope you have enjoyedyour visit, call again.



Personal Space overflow and Me in real life is here (press here)



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_________
Numbers = how many mucky smiley - have been left on the tiles



The words Don't Panic, written in large, friendly letters.

BET yah did Panic!




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Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

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